I don't understand the tone of aggression against ACME and their plethora of clients. I know it isn't a skill issue because of who the author is. So I can only imagine it is some sort of personal opinion that they dislike ACME as a concept or the tooling around ACME in general. We've been using LE for a while (since 2019 I think) for handful of sites, and the best nonsense client _for us_ was https://github.com/do-kn…
Some people don't want to be forced to run a bunch of stuff they don't understand on the server, and I agree with them. Sadly, security is a cat and mouse game, which means it's always evolving and you're forced to keep up - and it's inherent by the nature of the field, so we can't really blame anyone (unlike, say, being forced to integrate with the latest Google services to be allowed on the Play Store). At least yo…
There are a number of shell-based ACME clients whose prerequisites are: OpenSSL and cURL. You're probably already relying on OpenSSL and cURL for a bunch of things already.
If you can read shell code you can step through the logic and understand what they're doing. Some of them (e.g., acme.sh) often run as a service user (e.g., default install from FreeBSD ports) so the code runs unprivileged: just add a sudo (or doas) config to allow it to restart Apache/nginx.