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I thought I’d have accomplished a lot more today and also before I was 35 (2020)

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Re: I thought I’d have accomplished a lot more today and also before I was 35 (2020)

#221

Post by dangerface »

randomsearch wrote: post #146
Draiken wrote: post #135

This is always a tough subject for me because everyone seems to have at least an idea of what they want to achieve. When I was younger I had these silly dreams of moving to another country, getting married, becoming a programmer to make games, have my own company and get rich (haha). I did become a programmer and got married, but never left the country or became rich. Now on my 30s I know how limited my options are.…

> What's the point of it? Live for others. You (and I) are incredibly fortunate. We have our basic needs taken care of. We have more than that. There are many, many, people in the world who have problems that you can help solve. That could be - spending time with a lonely elderly person, volunteering with the homeless, building a website for a charity that can't afford to pay for a great one, building a startup that…

> If you don't get much out of it - don't worry, they will.

Im very selfish I get nothing out of helping others but I do it anyway and usually it ends up hurting the person I am trying to help, as the help is unwanted or the way I was helping was unwanted. You would think people would just be grateful for you trying but it turns out they are just as focused on themselves as myself.

It seems most people don't really want help they want some one to boss around and they call that help. I have no interest in being some ones lacky for no ones benefit but theirs in the same way no one wants to be my lacky.

Helping people is easy helping people in a way they won't hate you for it is very difficult.

Re: I thought I’d have accomplished a lot more today and also before I was 35 (2020)

#222

Post by seanw444 »

bognition wrote: post #171
Draiken wrote: post #163

Earlier quoted context omitted.

It's noble, but for me it's once again... pointless. I don't have the money or power to enact any meaningful change. I can give my time or some money to others, but I'm not really fixing anything. I'm just drying ice. Maybe I'm not selfless enough? I've never tried anything like that, so that's at least something new. Might give it a try

Is it possible you’re setting your threshold for meaningful change to high? I have friends that have made it their life’s work to get their city to install more bike lanes. They’ve been pushing for a decade and the city has installed a few lanes in particularly dangerous places. They have likely saved a bikers life. I have friends that volunteer at a crisis center and all they do is talk with people who need help. Th…

> that don’t require you to have millions of dollars or to go into politics.

These sound like the same thing to me.

Re: I thought I’d have accomplished a lot more today and also before I was 35 (2020)

#223

Post by snikeris »

bognition wrote: post #171
Draiken wrote: post #163

Earlier quoted context omitted.

It's noble, but for me it's once again... pointless. I don't have the money or power to enact any meaningful change. I can give my time or some money to others, but I'm not really fixing anything. I'm just drying ice. Maybe I'm not selfless enough? I've never tried anything like that, so that's at least something new. Might give it a try

Is it possible you’re setting your threshold for meaningful change to high? I have friends that have made it their life’s work to get their city to install more bike lanes. They’ve been pushing for a decade and the city has installed a few lanes in particularly dangerous places. They have likely saved a bikers life. I have friends that volunteer at a crisis center and all they do is talk with people who need help. Th…

Yeah I think this is a problem with modern life. Our ancestors knew only of their surroundings and their tribe. Helping someone near you was obviously meaningful.

Now the scale that our minds grapple with is infinite: We know we’re a tiny part of an infinite universe, our tribe is billions of people.

My solution is focus. Reduce the scale of your concern to where you can have an impact. You can certainly have an impact on the people around you. If that doesn’t seem worthwhile, try to figure out why the people you’re close to matter so little to you.

Re: I thought I’d have accomplished a lot more today and also before I was 35 (2020)

#225

Post by crispyambulance »

What! Did you fail to set "S.M.A.R.T. goals" for yourself in your personal life? :-)

If it _really_ mattered to you, you would have done it no matter what, but you got distracted by other things in life. That's OK. There is no HR department for your job as a human being. You don't have to rate yourself on a scale of 1 to whatever.

If someone assigns their worth in life by material things or external measures, they will NEVER have enough. There will always be "unchecked boxes" that will override any satisfaction for the "checked boxes".

Re: I thought I’d have accomplished a lot more today and also before I was 35 (2020)

#226

Post by chasd00 »

zivkovicp wrote: post #210
alexonaci wrote: post #141

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Agree, and this is definetly not a popular opinion nowadays. But you could try having kids. You’ll find the meaning like a fire under the arse

This. Sometimes it's tough, but it's always rewarding.

my two boys are the hardest, most rewarding, and impactful code i ever wrote.

Re: I thought I’d have accomplished a lot more today and also before I was 35 (2020)

#227

Post by Consultant32452 »

Draiken wrote: post #135

This is always a tough subject for me because everyone seems to have at least an idea of what they want to achieve. When I was younger I had these silly dreams of moving to another country, getting married, becoming a programmer to make games, have my own company and get rich (haha). I did become a programmer and got married, but never left the country or became rich. Now on my 30s I know how limited my options are.…

Focus on who's going to show up to your funeral and what they'll be thinking about you. That's what matters anyways, far more than your hobbies or career.

Re: I thought I’d have accomplished a lot more today and also before I was 35 (2020)

#228

Post by auto »

Draiken wrote: post #192
GuardianCaveman wrote: post #176

Earlier quoted context omitted.

What the point? Exceed your potential. Set goals like becoming rich, climb a mountain, start your company, fail many times if it takes it. Take 6 months off for around the world travel. You said you dont have the drive as before. That’s your choice. Drive is something we can choose and cultivate. If you’re happy the way you are then that’s one thing but I for one am not going to lean on my insignificance when compare…

Genuine question: how do you find these goals in the first place? Do you just randomly put them out there and work for it so you can tick that checkbox? Take for example starting a company. I had that goal before and today I know that'd take an enormous amount of effort and would take me away from my family and the few hobbies I have. All that doesn't guarantee I can make it, since the majority of companies fail and…

Another key aspect you need to consider is that (pseudoscience/hand-waving incoming) your brain is very good at taking all of your prior experience and extrapolating it forward, and telling you "if you do this thing, this will be the outcome".

My point is, you're not considering all of the things you don't know, because you can't. It isn't just about "start a company that will probably fail based on the % of companies that actually succeed". It's about "who will I meet while trying to start the company, that could turn into a life long friend", or "what skills do I know so little about that I'll be required to exercise while starting my company that may blossom into a passion I never knew about", or "what sort of example could I be setting for my kids/family/friends who might be on the fence in regards to taking their own leaps of faith"?

We're all too quick to assume we know the outcome of things, and we too easily forget the crazy, spontaneous circumstances of our youth that grew out into huge parts of our lives; that possibility doesn't go away when you're older, it's just most people tend to stop letting their lives have any risk or slack in them that could introduce those sorts of catalyst events.

Re: I thought I’d have accomplished a lot more today and also before I was 35 (2020)

#229

Post by leetrout »

chasd00 wrote: post #220
leetrout wrote: post #144

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I am not being trite: Thats the point! There is no single point except to exist and from that to try to exist peacefully with your fellow people. You are right, we are here briefly. No different than a flower blooming for a time. Whats the point to blooming just to die? Thats the point. As alan watts said... the journey itself is the point.

"exist peacefully with your fellow people" is great but first try to exist peacefully with yourself.

Truth. Have to love yourself. This takes some work.

Re: I thought I’d have accomplished a lot more today and also before I was 35 (2020)

#230

Post by vlunkr »

Draiken wrote: post #157
JKCalhoun wrote: post #137

Earlier quoted context omitted.

No kids, huh?

(GP) I actually have a 21 year old. When I married he was 7, so I probably lost the craziness of the early years. However I raised him as my son the best way I could. I don't particularly like the idea of having more kids though. Put them on this world? Ugh... I know, I'm a bit too pessimistic

I think for the average person, having kids might be the best way to have a positive impact on the world. Something like selling a company sounds like a bigger deal, but in 10, 30, 50 years, what will it matter? Some money is exchanged and some customers have some need fulfilled for the moment. Having kids and doing your best to teach them to be happy, empathetic, thoughtful, etc. can have an impact for generations.
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