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Black barbers have become mental health advocates for African American men

edition.cnn.com

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Re: Black barbers have become mental health advocates for African American men

#221

Post by twic »

jedimastert wrote: post #75
whatshisface wrote: post #18

If HN can look past the usual tropes, there's something interesting here. Lewis is trying to solve a problem a lot of other people are trying to solve: how can you have a normal community in US culture? Let me list a few solutions and you will see why his is better than average. 1. Religion. Pros: Going to church has tied communities together for millennia, and if you could just find some better pastors, it could con…

> Cons: You can't go if you don't have the money for a haircut. This is something that people are unaware of (sort of on purpose), but barbershops in black communities become ad-hoc community centers, where black men can just go and be among other black men. Gatherings of black men were (and are) seen as suspicious or "gang-related", but if there's a large gathering of black men at a barbershop, they're all just ther…

This has reminded me of the classic sitcom Desmond's, set in a Guyanese barbershop in South London, with exactly that dynamic:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Desmond%27s

Although Desmond's wife was usually around, and he had a white apprentice:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cxgmRB78GxQ

Re: Black barbers have become mental health advocates for African American men

#222

Post by kgin »

emerged wrote: post #217
sandworm101 wrote: post #33

It isn't because they are barbers. That is secondary. These are men's groups. This is men helping other men. Thanks to continued differences re hairstyles barber shops are one of the very few all-male places left in modern society (other than locker rooms which have a distinct competitive air). So it is no surprise that many urban men feel at home and are more willing to talk at the barber than anywhere else.

I recently came to realize that many addiction groups are actually a social replacement for buddies who used to go out drinking / partying all the time. Since they can no longer party, a replacement group is needed and they all immediately share in common that they don’t want to drink or take drugs. Maybe this is common knowledge but it was a lightbulb moment for me when I realized it.

I’ve long wished for AA type groups for people who arent necessarily struggling with addiction.

We’re all struggling.

Re: Black barbers have become mental health advocates for African American men

#223

Post by dragonwriter »

kgin wrote: post #222
emerged wrote: post #217

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I recently came to realize that many addiction groups are actually a social replacement for buddies who used to go out drinking / partying all the time. Since they can no longer party, a replacement group is needed and they all immediately share in common that they don’t want to drink or take drugs. Maybe this is common knowledge but it was a lightbulb moment for me when I realized it.

I’ve long wished for AA type groups for people who arent necessarily struggling with addiction. We’re all struggling.

> I’ve long wished for AA type groups for people who arent necessarily struggling with addiction.

There are plenty of groups based on application of religious lore (often, very similar to the lore applied by AA) to aspects of behavior besides addiction.

Re: Black barbers have become mental health advocates for African American men

#224

Post by nick__m »

motohagiography wrote: post #206
GavinMcG wrote: post #122

Earlier quoted context omitted.

The idea that abusers "cannot navigate masculine environments well" is absurd, ignores the fact that much abuse has taken place in masculine environments throughout history, and imagines that abusers somehow give themselves away by not presenting as traditionally masculine. Where are you getting this?

Abuse, e.g. sadism, opportunism, deception are all definitions of unmasculine behaviours. There are men who behave in unmasculine ways, and I'd reassert they usually disqualify themselves from deeper friendship with men who don't. Among men, I would also say that negative traits are necessarily also unmasculine because they are usually immoderate instances of other qualities. Of course, this is a practitioners view w…

You listed traits correlated with being on the dark triads spectrum. These personality traits have almost nothing to with sexual identity.

Re: Black barbers have become mental health advocates for African American men

#225

Post by [deleted] »

motohagiography wrote: post #105

Viewing masculine gatherings and mentoring relationships through the lens of "therapy," is patronizing and another example of filtering culture through the narrative of powerlessness. Here's another take. Most people who say they want you to talk about your feelings are predators looking for angry and vulnerable young people who they can manipulate with sympathy and groom for other pipelines and agendas. The barber s…

[deleted]

Re: Black barbers have become mental health advocates for African American men

#226

Post by [deleted] »

honkdaddy wrote: post #164
hhs wrote: post #108

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> Lewis is trying to solve a problem a lot of other people are trying to solve: how can you have a normal community in US culture? Indeed, in sociology this building of community is typically called the 'third place' [0]. [0]: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Third_place

Do HN folks have a "third place" they go to?

[deleted]

Re: Black barbers have become mental health advocates for African American men

#227

Post by armchairhacker »

Barbers are one of the few jobs left where the people servicing you actually converse with you. Grocery stores, restaurants, ride-shares, gyms, even your office are getting more impersonal.

Which is honestly not a bad thing. I don't need to bother someone or get bothered when I'm going shopping or just want a meal, and I might not necessarily socialize well with my co-workers even if I work well with them. But we need other avenues for adult socialization. Current apps like social media and Tinder are garbage.

Apps have the fundamental intention down: connecting people with similar interests. But online is not a replacement for in-person, all these popular social media apps are gamed and monetized. It's a hard problem.

Re: Black barbers have become mental health advocates for African American men

#228

Post by hallway_monitor »

ilamont wrote: post #214
ceilingcorner wrote: post #91

This used to be the case for most communities in America, before we decided that externalizing and professionalizing everything was the "economically efficient" solution. If you had a problem, you'd talk to the elder folks in your community and see what they thought about it. Now we barely know our neighbors and our community elders are shipped off to special-purpose holding facilities.

Unfortunately, the trusted person in many communities could sometimes make things far, far worse. In my community there were a handful of priests and teachers at a local private school who abused children entrusted to their care.

Can priests get married yet or does the Catholic church still want sexual abuse to continue?

Re: Black barbers have become mental health advocates for African American men

#229

Post by gowld »

dragonwriter wrote: post #149
jedimastert wrote: post #120

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I think the ignorance in these comments say otherwise...

Oh, I think there is still some ignorance, I just don't think what remains is really much attributable to the “sort of on purpose” concealment by the community as to disinterest in the lifestyle of other subcultures by people outside.

It's not a "secret" hangout, it's a safe hangout that has a racist-acceptable justification so it won't get raided by the police for no good reason.

Re: Black barbers have become mental health advocates for African American men

#230

Post by Slow_Hand »

armchairhacker wrote: post #227

Barbers are one of the few jobs left where the people servicing you actually converse with you. Grocery stores, restaurants, ride-shares, gyms, even your office are getting more impersonal. Which is honestly not a bad thing. I don't need to bother someone or get bothered when I'm going shopping or just want a meal, and I might not necessarily socialize well with my co-workers even if I work well with them. But we nee…

The option to speak at length with a client while carrying out the work is a very satisfying quality in a job. I drove a pedicab every weekend for five years in downtown Austin and one of the great pleasures of the job is having your clients’ undivided attention for 5-10 min. It’s a perfect amount of time to get to know someone. Many times I would hit it off with them so well that we either exchanged info or I parked up up my cab and we continued to hang out for the evening. I’m someone who abhors small-talk, but if you give us time enough to connect in a sincere way it leaves you feeling great about the people you can meet.
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