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Female Founder Secrets: Men Clamming Up
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Re: Female Founder Secrets: Men Clamming Up
#222I also work in a very “woke culture.” In fact, as a straight, white, cis man I am in the extreme minority. I have been told that I can’t do my job which includes negotiating with LGBTQ+ companies because I am an “old, white, cis guy and there is always an unfair power dynamic there” just because of my identity. It is discrimination plain and simple, but I literally stand to have my career derailed if I fight back. On…
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Re: Female Founder Secrets: Men Clamming Up
#223I'm a bit sad about how eager everyone is jumping on the idea that "candid advice" will always be construed as possibly sexist. I'm from Germany and we are famously blunt, so maybe there is a cultural aspect to this, but to me candor != risk of sexism. If your advice is candid, it also shouldn't leave any ambiguity..."I'm unsure about you doing the pitch because the last N times you froze up and you seem nervous again" makes your reasoning clear without beating around the bush. How can you twist this into something sexist?
Re: Female Founder Secrets: Men Clamming Up
#224This is kind of the end result we're heading for, where you can only talk candidly with people who are equal or lower than you on the oppression hierarchy. The shitty part is that I'm pretty sure 99% of people are reasonable human beings but the media has to make it seem like that isn't the case so the risk equation changes. Similar to how kids used to roam around the neighborhood but now it's deemed too risky becaus…
> people who are equal or lower than you on the oppression hierarchy This supposed hierarchy of oppression, based on identity characteristics such as race, gender and sexuality, really is the biggest scam going. Almost all of the oppression we see around us can be explained by wealth disparities, corruption, and abuse of power. Yet, identarians insist on shoehorning everything into their flawed worldview. The Black L…
> It's anyone the police feel they can get away with abusing.
And a core premise of the Black Lives Matter movement is that Black people are generally an easier target that the police can get away with abusing, and police know this. Police can also typically identify Black people easily on sight, putting them at greater risk. Class is a valuable lens through which to view systems of oppression, but we shouldn't neglect these other dimensions of race, gender, etc... that are clearly a part of our society.
Re: Female Founder Secrets: Men Clamming Up
#225This article demonstrates exactly why I’ve tended not to get as up-in-arms as some of my fellow male colleagues when it comes to gender/workplace issues. Sure, sometimes it seems like the pushback against the male dominated culture of some industries can push a little too far leading to unintended consequences like the author illustrates. But, sooner or later those get recognized and things tend to self-correct. Who ever said that dealing with entrenched, thorny issues isn’t messy and fraught with inefficiencies?
Re: Female Founder Secrets: Men Clamming Up
#226There's an extreme right, and there's an extreme left. Right now the whole right is an extreme right, whereas the left is divided between more moderate and cancel culture. Apparently tucker said that the right would go into full fascist mode because of BLM/antifa (lol), I'm wondering if the left is going full woke because of the right going fascist. People are being triggered by the other side, and becoming extremist…
> whereas the left is divided between more moderate and cancel culture. Apparently tucker said that the right would go into full fascist mode What you described might just be a self-fulfilling prophecy. If the moderate right routinely gets bundled with the far right extremists (and often anti-vac, conspiracy theory and whatever) for voicing out their right leaning (but moderate) opinions, then they might just choose…
The good thing is that we realized how bad it was back in 2016 (and again in 2020 considering the amount of people who went out to vote for the orange man).
Re: Female Founder Secrets: Men Clamming Up
#227Yes, woke culture creates an atmosphere where men and non-minorities may be overly cautious about what they do and say, possibly to everyone’s detriment. But let’s be clear here. That’s not the root cause. The root cause is the undeniably real treatment of women and minorities that created that reactionary mode. A number of people I talk to (curiously, they tend to be production engineers) think we live in a meritocr…
> A number of people I talk to (curiously they tend to be production engineers) think we live in a meritocracy where racism and sexism have virtually been erased. Do they? I don't think I know anybody like this. Most of the people I know think we live in a flawed and complex world. That's why so many of them are less forthcoming with casual acquaintances, in "mixed company" as they say, as this article describes. Not…
Absolutely. After hours in a break area, people would be much more candid when they think everyone agrees with them, and then they state this out loud.
I have chat logs with a PE at a FAANG who starts off by declaring that diversity is bullshit, not just efforts but the goal itself, and that race or gender is no impediment to success.
What’s even more demonstrative is so many here saying they are afraid to comment without making a new account because of ‘woke’ culture, but those are likely the people downvoting me to oblivion for suggesting that racists and sexists are the root cause of the situation.
Re: Female Founder Secrets: Men Clamming Up
#228>I’m not going to suggest a solution to the problem of men clamming up.
Well gee how about people stop blaming white males for every problem in the world, cancelling them for the slightest "microaggression", etc. Maybe that would make society a bit more equal?
It should would be nice to talk openly with coworkers and peers without worrying about offending someone over the slightest thing.
Re: Female Founder Secrets: Men Clamming Up
#229> I’m not going to suggest a solution to the problem of men clamming up. I find this a little frustrating, they’ve noticed a pattern of behaviour that concerns them in an area they are clearly invested in - yet they have no thoughts or suggestions on how to address this? Is it possible they are not offering such thoughts because of the same issue they have highlighted in the article?
Why does someone need to have a solution in order for their observation of a problem to be considered valid? Maybe the problem is real but they just don’t have as solution?
I also never said their observation is invalidated by not offering a solution - I said it was frustrating that they didn’t have any suggestions.
Re: Female Founder Secrets: Men Clamming Up
#230I'm really glad to see this here. I don't have a better word readily available than sexism for trying to talk about patterns like this but when I use the word sexism , I think people think I mean "Men are intentionally exclusionary assholes just to be assholes because they simply hate women." and that's never what I'm trying to say. I find my gender is a barrier to getting traction and my experience is that it's due…
It's more like reverse sexism here. I totally get the behaviour here. You simply don't want to be on the receiving end of potential backlash when you're just trying to help someone. The calculus being you feel as if you might make a genuine remark only to receive a response interpreting said remark as the product of sexism e.g "out of persons A and B, I think B should run the company" where A is a woman and B is a ma…
One of the toughest things about discrimination is being able to prove it. I'm a white man, but I spent time living in Japan where I was an obvious minority.
Some situations were clear to me that I was being treated a particular way because of my race. But then others were not so clear cut.
For example, one time I was talking in Japanese with a group and someone kept repeating what I said like "He said...". I was getting angry at that as I took it to mean that they were basically "translating" my Japanese for others. But then later, I was watching a Japanese TV drama and the same thing happened on there (with only Japanese speaking). That made me think that maybe this was just a cultural thing that people do and didn't have any reflection on me personally.
Having mentored a female engineer, I've seen that if you are constantly on the lookout for signs of discrimination against you, you will find so much of it. You'll go crazy thinking the whole world is out to get you because of your sex, race, etc. It's tough because there are no doubt situations where that does happen. But there are also situations where a white man would have been given the same feedback or treated in the same way. As a minority though, you only have your own experience to go on. It becomes tough to recognize what is legitimate discrimination vs what is just ordinarily communication.