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Ask HN: What do you struggle with?

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Re: Ask HN: What do you struggle with?

#221

Post by Timmah »

allthenews wrote: post #131
Snackchez wrote: post #116

Earlier quoted context omitted.

1. Meet someone you're interested in via an online medium (tinder, bumble, POF, OKC, etc.) OR irl through social activities. 2. Go on a date. Follow KISS principle: evening time, grab a drink, socialize. Use FORD principle to create conversation. Test the waters with various topics of interests, talk about stuff that you find passionate (people usually gravitate to you if you speak passionately about something) 3. ??…

This comment comes off as intensely smug, from someone who has little experience with difficulty in dating. Things are not so simple. In fact, the very nature of social interaction is such that it cannot be preemptively, logically broken down and solved. Many men have trouble getting past step 1 on the dating apps you list. The funnel of capture, so to speak, from message to response can be extremely wide, both on an…

Sounds like you're projecting a lot of your own issues with that reply. Someone asked for instructions. Someone else gave a rough sketch. Stop reading more into it than there is.

Re: Ask HN: What do you struggle with?

#222

Post by gnulinux »

derefr wrote: post #220
gnulinux wrote: post #216

I'm incredibly absent minded. I constantly keep forgetting/losing my cards, my wallet, my phone, bags, random stuff; somehow I break things in ways I don't understand... I just graduated from college, my life was fine so far, but I'm currently getting kicked out by my landlord because he was sick of me making trivial, small mistakes 10000 times a day. They're things like forgetting a plate on the table, forgetting to…

This is a (less talked about, but very diagnostic) symptom of ADHD.

See, yes my friends told me I might have ADHD. But I was extremely good at school (I graduated from UC Berkeley with near 4.0) and never had a problem focusing at work/school. If I sit to study, I can do so pretty efficiently. I can also do work without much trouble. Also, I tried Adderall a couple times when I was a freshman, and its effects were almost unnoticeable to me since I usually don't have hard time focusing anyway.

I might have ADHD, but it just doesn't make any sense to me...

Re: Ask HN: What do you struggle with?

#223

Post by kc10 »

I am 35 and do active software development. Most of my peers transitioned into management, but I don't like management.

But I fear aging out, not able to keep up with technology changes, not be able to blend with young team over time etc.

Re: Ask HN: What do you struggle with?

#224

Post by pvarangot »

Pamar wrote: post #78
house9-2 wrote: post #63

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I highly recommend going to see a therapist.

I second the therapist. But in addition to that I'd also suggest trying a martial art. Depending on where you live you may have more or less choice in terms of style/school/"hardness"... see what looks fine for you and try it (martial art schools tend to have family/friendship connotations so this would help with isolation too). In any case, therapist first.

I did therapy, martial arts and high speed sports like MX and skiing. Now I just know how to live with depression, it's easy if you learn how not to kill yourself and have friends that enjoy your cynicism.

Re: Ask HN: What do you struggle with?

#225

Post by peacetreefrog »

Crazyontap wrote: post #17

I struggle with scaling up my business. I have been working from home for the past 10 years and I have websites that generate ok money ($100K/y). My struggle is I just can't get myself to hire my first full time employee. I tried it many years ago but after facing the headache of hiring, dealing with attrition, training, etc, it took away all my focus from work. I feel management is a skill I just don't have. Also wo…

what are your websites?

Re: Ask HN: What do you struggle with?

#226

Post by nbardy »

Interviewing. I'm good at my good. My portfolio is at least decent, and I get a lot of responses on my resume, but I consistently can't close the deal. I also have a very hard time bettering myself with the lack of feedback. I've gotten better at all the stuff you can read about online and often made it to the final round, but I can't make it to an offer.

Re: Ask HN: What do you struggle with?

#227

Post by gnulinux »

etatoby wrote: post #26

Long-term: dating/relationships. I'm very outgoing, but I have love shyness or something like that. I basically don't date. I find the entire thing extremely stressful and unbearable. I've always been alone. Short-term: not much! I recently dropped everything and moved to the other side of the globe (Japan) on a student visa. I'm studying a very interesting language and culture and making friends with people from all…

I'm 21, never asked a girl out. I'm same as you, I think I'm pretty outgoing and generally social (not to social, but I'm ok I guess) and I'm good looking too (I go to the gym 5 days a week). But the whole dating thing seems almost pointlessly stressful to me, I don't even quite know how to do it and at this age it seems embarrassing to be this inexperienced.

Re: Ask HN: What do you struggle with?

#228

Post by brown-dragon »

adamc wrote: post #124

Depression, particularly since my wife of 28 years divorced me. It has gotten a lot better in recent months, but it's almost two years since she asked for the divorce. And as I have turned to spiritual and mental health work to alleviate my depression, staying interesting in tech stuff. Although Racket and Rust look kind of fun.

28 years! It frightens me and boggles my mind how something like this can happen after being married for so long. Looking back do you have any idea why? I'm sorry for your loss and I hope it'll get better for you soon. As others have said it's perfectly normal to feel depressed at such a life altering event and it probably does take a year or two to recover.

Re: Ask HN: What do you struggle with?

#229

Post by Tade0 »

legohead wrote: post #219

I don't like the new way of doing things. Kubernetes, node, react, terraform... Everything is more complicated and also more fragile. I feel like the software world is collectively mad and I'm sitting on the outside asking "wtf is going on?" Or maybe I'm the crazy one.

Less than two days ago lerna left-padded out of being FLOSS and since Babel uses lerna we're having this conversation now:

https://github.com/babel/babel/issues/8579#issuecomment-4169...

I pine for the times when we could just place a few tags here and there and call it a day.

Re: Ask HN: What do you struggle with?

#230

Post by gyani95 »

tequila_shot wrote: post #75
xaranke wrote: post #73

Earlier quoted context omitted.

If you're on H1B you can change employers, SF would definitely have a lot of companies willing to make this happen.

Yes, I know. I'm in my last years of my H1B, meaning my GC application is underway, and I'm ....But more than that, it's the very thing that I'm unable to spend time on items that I love to work with, and even if I did there are >10,000s of folks with the exact same experience, so I'm not sure how I'd land a job in those areas. . .

Not applying is the surest way not to get the ml job. Or try switching roles within the same company?

If you find the time you can do an online masters in Machine Learning from Georgia Tech for around $7k. You can hack on your own projects and build credentials.

Some companies might be willing to sponsor the OCMS course.

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