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The Bitter Regrets of a Useless Chinese Daughter

nytimes.com

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Re: The Bitter Regrets of a Useless Chinese Daughter

#221

Post by mnm1 »

> Why do we need to be rich or have guanxi merely to enjoy access to very basic public services?

I can't speak about China, butt this question was quite pertinent in communist Romania. The answer should be fairly obvious. Because it's communist and the government doesn't give a fuck about its people. That's likely why the daughter is in America. That most certainly is how I ended up here. When it's necessary to have connections in high places or a ton of money or both just to get the doctors to not let you die or to get any decent healthcare, that's the sign of a system that has failed most if not all of its people. We should learn from this here in America because we are only a little ahead of this type of situation with healthcare here. Instead of connections though, the privileged here have good health care and the money to pay for it.

Re: The Bitter Regrets of a Useless Chinese Daughter

#222

Post by closeparen »

ptaipale wrote: post #120
spyckie2 wrote: post #95

Earlier quoted context omitted.

When Asian parents says, don't get a literature degree, become a doctor, they have a good reason to say it. It's not necessarily this bad in terms of standard of living (the above description would be subsistence levels, maybe less than 200$ a year), but the median household income in China is about $12-15k US a year compared to $56k in the US. And it's not that in China everything is cheaper so 12-15k goes a long wa…

Related: Rich Kids Study English "New data shows that students whose parents make less money pursue more “useful” subjects, such as math or physics." https://www.theatlantic.com/business/archive/2015/07/college...

Yes. The liberal arts are “the objects of study worthy of a free person” as opposed to a wage slave. The public university system was meant to make these aristocratic pursuits available to the masses. Until costs exploded, it worked.

Re: The Bitter Regrets of a Useless Chinese Daughter

#223

Post by walshemj »

ptaipale wrote: post #148
commandlinefan wrote: post #142

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> could be simply called "class differences" Yeah, seriously. My family has been American for at least four generations. I can tell by looking in the mirror that I'm at least 95% European, but I have no idea from where - before about my great-grandparents, there isn't much genealogy to follow, and for the most part that's because most of my ancestors were trying to keep a low profile and avoid having any records that…

True enough, but having a history doesn't make one "high-class". I do know part of my genealogy up to a landed gentry nobleman who wreaked havoc in Germany and Prague in the 30-year war on behalf of the Swedish king, but still my father was born to a tenant farmer family. But you may have a point that apparently the social differences are smaller small countries and communities where genealogy is better known. To tak…

Actually it probably does a "poor" kid from the right back ground (minor nobility landed gentry or even middle class ) will find it easier to get into Oxbridge / Harvard and also grok the social aspects as your parents told you how it works - Boris Johnson is a good example originally not rich but had a lot of connections.

For example know why not to wear "brown" shoes in town to an interview for a high paying job / internship.

Re: The Bitter Regrets of a Useless Chinese Daughter

#224

Post by isoprophlex »

semi-extrinsic wrote: post #201
ad_hominem wrote: post #178

Earlier quoted context omitted.

The USA has a lot of room to improve for sure. But solutions that work for Finland, which is a small, ethnically homogeneous, high trust society, simply won't map to the USA which is the opposite of all those things.

Sure these solutions would work. Institute free universal healthcare paid for through the tax system, spend money on empowering women and helping families with children (including family planning), and make education free up to and including college. To finance it, tax the rich, dismantle 4/5ths of the US military and stop fueling wars overseas. But that's called socialism and is (unlike actual treason) treated like…

To those bringing the downvotes: please elaborate why you disagree instead of blindly burning this comment into the ground.

Re: The Bitter Regrets of a Useless Chinese Daughter

#225

Post by sangnoir »

TheRealDunkirk wrote: post #135
ak39 wrote: post #77

I am not familiar with nuances of Chinese culture, but I was so intrigued by the "guanxi" phenomenon that I immediately and gladly spent half an hour reading about it and watching Youtube videos of the "guanxi" culture in China.[1] "Guanxi" is nothing other than socially institutionalised networks of non-monetary favours and counter-favours. It happens in every culture actually but the thing that makes "quanxi" uniqu…

Though there's no word for it here, this is also how the poor in the US get things done. Where the middle class become insular, and simply buys someone's time to do things they don't want to do, the poor trade favors with a large network of contacts to do the things that they need to get done.

In the UK it's known as the "Old-boy network" between former students of all-male elite schools (Eton being the most prominent). In the US, I'm guessing the closest is frat-bros?

Re: The Bitter Regrets of a Useless Chinese Daughter

#226

Post by annamargot »

axiom92 wrote: post #163
commandlinefan wrote: post #142

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> could be simply called "class differences" Yeah, seriously. My family has been American for at least four generations. I can tell by looking in the mirror that I'm at least 95% European, but I have no idea from where - before about my great-grandparents, there isn't much genealogy to follow, and for the most part that's because most of my ancestors were trying to keep a low profile and avoid having any records that…

> I'm at least 95% European, but I have no idea from where Try 23andme?

My mother did 23andme. It came back with:

Northern European with some probability of Southern European as well.

Well, duh.

Re: The Bitter Regrets of a Useless Chinese Daughter

#227

Post by DoubleCribble »

ad_hominem wrote: post #178
pavlov wrote: post #131

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I’m Finnish too. My entirely anecdotal experience of both Finland and USA is that America is about 40 years behind in responding to poverty. To see men sleeping in trash boxes in freezing weather, you only need to walk a few blocks around midtown Manhattan in the winter.

The USA has a lot of room to improve for sure. But solutions that work for Finland, which is a small, ethnically homogeneous, high trust society, simply won't map to the USA which is the opposite of all those things.

It won't map because of our national obsession with crime and punishment. I'd bet dollars to donuts that it's far cheaper to put a drunk in a homeless shelter AND give him treatment (AlAnon, etc) than it is to lock him in a cage with a herd of sociopaths. But the Prison Industrial Complex has got to look out for its own, after all.

Re: The Bitter Regrets of a Useless Chinese Daughter

#228

Post by walshemj »

ptaipale wrote: post #120
spyckie2 wrote: post #95

Earlier quoted context omitted.

When Asian parents says, don't get a literature degree, become a doctor, they have a good reason to say it. It's not necessarily this bad in terms of standard of living (the above description would be subsistence levels, maybe less than 200$ a year), but the median household income in China is about $12-15k US a year compared to $56k in the US. And it's not that in China everything is cheaper so 12-15k goes a long wa…

Related: Rich Kids Study English "New data shows that students whose parents make less money pursue more “useful” subjects, such as math or physics." https://www.theatlantic.com/business/archive/2015/07/college...

As opposed to doing a "soft" degree like a PPE which will lead to a much more financially rewarding /powerful job :-)

Reading the article give me the impression that the authors just didn't understand the UK class system when looking at who does what degree.

Re: The Bitter Regrets of a Useless Chinese Daughter

#229

Post by dleslie »

luddaite wrote: post #151
dleslie wrote: post #13

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I've made a career of chasing other people's dreams: I look for opportunities at well-funded or well-positioned small companies and insert myself into the opportunity to help others achieve their dreams. It's fun, and sometimes it's fortuitous, but most of the time it just pays the bills and keeps my life interesting. The key is that it pays the bills and remains interesting. If I were to chase my own entrepreneurial…

I am just entering the job market and I would like to try and make this my career as well. I'd like to go from early stage company to early stage company and help the founders build something cool. Any tips or advice?

Probably nothing you haven't heard before. ;)

1. If the pay cheques stop clearing then you stop working and move on.

2. Always eat broccoli, metaphorically: every company wants for someone who is happy to do, and able to do, the work that others cannot or will not do.

3. Don't be afraid to ask how they're funded and what their business plan is; you are, in a sense, an investor who supplies labour.

4. Stock is _usually_ worth less than the paper it's printed on.

5. Manage your managers; they'll push you hard and squeeze blood from you, and only you are able to ensure work/life balance.

Re: The Bitter Regrets of a Useless Chinese Daughter

#230

Post by Broken_Hippo »

sologoub wrote: post #210
semi-extrinsic wrote: post #201

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Sure these solutions would work. Institute free universal healthcare paid for through the tax system, spend money on empowering women and helping families with children (including family planning), and make education free up to and including college. To finance it, tax the rich, dismantle 4/5ths of the US military and stop fueling wars overseas. But that's called socialism and is (unlike actual treason) treated like…

You can’t force people to accept treatment in US. While these might slow growth of the homeless population in dire need of medical help, it won’t prevent it. To have no homeless, you have to have both resourcing for housing/medical, but also be willing to use force to compel those unwilling to get treatment/be housed where they have little choice. That’s a very tough leap to make. The choice part never made sense to…

You don't generally have to force folks to get help. We (the US) do it in a small portion of the population: Severe mental illness, dementia, and substance abuse. They aren't talking about forcing folks to do things. You can encourage folks to do such things, though.

Most folks don't actually want to live like that, but some really do want to shun society. You can offer folks things like primitive cabins to help them shun society. Substance abuse, mental illness, and job loss are real problema with real solutions. Heck, if you can't solve someone's substance abuse or alcoholism, you can at least make sure they have shelter and food available to keep them safe even if they won't pay for such things. For a single person, it doesn't have to be luxurious: A dorm setup with private bathrooms and shared kitchen can work out.

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