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Nearly Half of Americans Are Lonely

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221–230 of 344 posts

Re: Nearly Half of Americans Are Lonely

#221
post #78
post #51

The country being so politically polarized isn't helping. It's to the point where most only want to socialize with people in the same "tribe". For better or worse.

It's not great, and I think it shows our society is fracturing and collapsing, but I don't want to socialize much with any Trump voters either. I have enough problems; I don't need someone spouting insane conspiracy theories to me about how 9/11 was "an inside job", Sandy Hook never happened, etc.

I find it interesting that you conflate Trump voters with Alex Jones-style conspiracy theories. They are different subsets, just like your average Hillary voter isn't some mask-wearing rioting antifa.

Re: Nearly Half of Americans Are Lonely

#223

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I disagree. I'm 40, and had life pre-internet. Cell phones were still expensive when I was in school. A portion of my friends were too poor to regularly have home telephone service. I'm bisexual, and paid for that bit with a middle school not talking to me most of a school year. I lost friends because I dated folks with a different skin color. I didn't really tell folks I was atheist back then, but it didn't really m…

Familiar! Some of it, at least. Asking the "wrong" people out in middle school ('90s) sure was a fast track to being an outcast. Paradoxically, the rising positive presence of LGBTQ+ people in media in the '90s made things worse . People were on the lookout for us! I don't know if it was worse than the '80s where our presence in the media was almost universally negative. Later, I found Twitter, and met a friend (also…

Hah. I didn't even get to asking the wrong person out. I was caught looking. Oops. :)

Re: Nearly Half of Americans Are Lonely

#224

I think a huge factor is the growing theme of social interaction being unacceptable. Back in the day you could walk up to and make friends with almost anyone, it wasn't weird to interact with strangers, thus making new acquaintances. Modern society stigmatizes that kind of interaction, don't talk to people you don't know if you don't want to be ostracized. You could want to befriend someone in a crowd, but come up wi…

It's because people now see each other mostly as competitors; socializing is a tool for manipulation; the purpose of which is the acquisition of material resources and procreation. Only fools think it serves any other purpose.

Re: Nearly Half of Americans Are Lonely

#226
post #61

Honestly, I've never had problems talking to random strangers. Some of my best friends were random strangers at first. IMO, the problem has nothing to do with the internet. Instead, the problem has more to do with poorly controlling marketing and homelessness. Political correctness also takes a toll. When I lived in the Bay Area, most of the time I was randomly approached, "on the street," it was from a homeless pers…

Yeah I agree, the reason for lonely incels is definitely because of the SJWs and bums, probably feminists too. If it weren't for those cucks I could make friends by jumping on a stranger's shoulders in the middle of Herbergers, like just like the good ol' days. Nowadays you can't even so much as have a wank while explaining the melting temperature of steel beams in the food court without some SJW calling the cops on you. Loneliness as a young adult is completely unnatural and has nothing to do with finding a mature identity. All those control surveys cited from earlier generations in this article prove it. It's got nothing to do with an increasingly shallow group of close connections in a growing society, or a growing obsession with instant gratification. Definitely things that annoy me, like advertisements, bums, and women that refuse to have sex with me, even though I'm a total catch of a super-smart-hung-daddy-nice-guy.

Pretty sure my other account was shadow banned over this comment. Serious rhetoric wrapped in sarcasm... for fucksake.

Re: Nearly Half of Americans Are Lonely

#227

I think a huge factor is the growing theme of social interaction being unacceptable. Back in the day you could walk up to and make friends with almost anyone, it wasn't weird to interact with strangers, thus making new acquaintances. Modern society stigmatizes that kind of interaction, don't talk to people you don't know if you don't want to be ostracized. You could want to befriend someone in a crowd, but come up wi…

I was sitting on a bench waiting for the bus in Denmark one day, and a very attractive young lady came up and said she'd like to give me a hug.

I'm old, and I was instantly very suspicious this was some sort of scam, or she had a partner that was going to rob me, or whatever. I couldn't believe she was just trying to be nice.

She talked with me for a while, and was not put off by my suspiciousness. Eventually I agreed to the hug, and it was very nice, and then she left. That was it. She didn't want anything from me, she just wanted to give.

It's a unique experience in my life. And a much appreciated one.

Re: Nearly Half of Americans Are Lonely

#228
post #78
post #51

The country being so politically polarized isn't helping. It's to the point where most only want to socialize with people in the same "tribe". For better or worse.

It's not great, and I think it shows our society is fracturing and collapsing, but I don't want to socialize much with any Trump voters either. I have enough problems; I don't need someone spouting insane conspiracy theories to me about how 9/11 was "an inside job", Sandy Hook never happened, etc.

I think you have the wrong interpretation of Trump voters.

Re: Nearly Half of Americans Are Lonely

#229

Many reasons for this, and many good ones have already been noted, but I haven't seen anyone mention time yet. Americans work a lot. If you don't make friends at work, or you don't maintain friendships from high school or college, you're working on limited time and energy - as are the people you hope to befriend (though you don't know who they are yet). If you have a family, it's even harder. I don't have kids, and w…

One think that can lead to loneliness is material abundance namely the abundance of houses. Here in Portugal we have 40% more houses than families. For instance the building that I live has 8 apartments and it was build 60 years ago. I have some neighbors that live here since the beginning. They told me there was a time it had 50 residents. Now there are only ten residents. We are so surrounded by abundance that we are more and more apart from each other. But we cannot stop building houses because that would mean less jobs and the end of economic growth.

Re: Nearly Half of Americans Are Lonely

#230

I think a huge factor is the growing theme of social interaction being unacceptable. Back in the day you could walk up to and make friends with almost anyone, it wasn't weird to interact with strangers, thus making new acquaintances. Modern society stigmatizes that kind of interaction, don't talk to people you don't know if you don't want to be ostracized. You could want to befriend someone in a crowd, but come up wi…

I think if you want the world to be this way you should just do what you want to do anyway. Life is too short to care what some random group of strangers at a concert thinks, anyway. You're not hurting anyone and I think you're normalizing good behavior. Nobody is going to call the cops on you for complementing their jacket. I've stopped letting myself be bothered and it's actually done wonders for my social life. An…

I'm a very socially inept person and in recent years I took to practicing striking up conversations with complete strangers on the street and in the park.

Some will get a sour look and resolutely look away, but many will smile and say something back.

I haven't had a bad experience doing that.

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