Earlier quoted context omitted.
Wait until Teslas become cheaper. Until then, buy a Lada Niva. No one will want to steal it and it doesn't have anything complicated in it that can be hacked.
1993 Corolla with decayed paint. Utterly, utterly, reliable. Appears undesirable. It will also guarantee that you'll never get laid.
There are very high-end car thieves who want flashy cars, but the vast majority of car theft is about 1) ease and 2) what the parts are worth.