Earlier quoted context omitted.
> My favorite Agile-ism is when Agile is defined as “the process that works for the team”. What compels you to believe it isn't? I mean, read the Agile Manifesto. All it does is basically define a set of values and principles. Things like "customer comes first" or "we welcome changes in requirements" or "software must be delivered frequently". What leads you to believe Agile implies a fixed set of precise, rigid rule…
It isnt but the fact it ultra vague and hand wavey means anybody can claim anything they do is agile including things that the exact opposite. I actually think OP's criticisms apply mostly to Scrum. Scrum is well defined but its adherents' wont hear a critical word said about it. "You just werent doing it right" even when you were doing it precisely as described.
I don't really agree. The set of principles are quite straight forward. It's things like delivering software frequently, accommodating new requirements, continuously looking into improving processes, business types and developers working together, etc.
Then you have concrete executions like scrum vs kanban. Agile doesn't specify one or the other. Retrospective meetings are popular, but aren't specified by Agile per se.