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Nine things I learned in ninety years

edwardpackard.com

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Re: Nine things I learned in ninety years

#211

Post by tnel77 »

BarryMilo wrote: post #203
coldtea wrote: post #127

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> I have read psychologists saying that "happiness as default state" is a social construct myth of modern times. Psychologists are what's the actual social construct myth of modern times. > You cannot be happy all the time That's not what "happiness as default state" implies though. It's about happiness being the disposition you opt for, as opposed to wallowing in misery and seeing fault in everything as your baselin…

Psychologists are a myth?

I suspect they mean that psychologists are more a problem than a useful profession.

Re: Nine things I learned in ninety years

#212

Post by grugagag »

maplethorpe wrote: post #68
shark1 wrote: post #59

> "...happiness to become one’s default state of mind." I have read psychologists saying that "happiness as default state" is a social construct myth of modern times. You cannot be happy all the time, the fact of being unhappy sometimes is what drives you self-reflect and to chase meaning to your life. To feel pleasure you need to feel some pain.

I do agree a balance of pain and pleasure is necessary. But I also believe you can make your default state a gentle fluctuation between the two, rather than wild swings. In my experience, this is largely a force of habit -- I one day found my default reaction to almost any event was to chastise myself, for example. If you can break this habit and return to a more tranquil medium, I think that's as close to being "alw…

You may think you can change it but what if that came with the package? What if you were born bipolar or depressive?

Re: Nine things I learned in ninety years

#214

Post by [deleted] »

gilbetron wrote: post #199

I dunno. I'm on the older end, but nowhere near 90, and I've read a lot of these takes, and heard similar from a lot of older people in my lives. While there are good thoughts, often they come from people who didn't do that in their lives and achieved great things because they weren't chasing peace, but chasing success, status, adventure, and the such. When I read something like this now, I ask if the person writing…

[deleted]

Re: Nine things I learned in ninety years

#215

Post by [deleted] »

larsnystrom wrote: post #165
ropable wrote: post #36

> what an outsized role is played by luck This speaks to me. So much of our life circumstances are beyond our control (parents, genetics, geography, society, wider economy, etc.) It's humbling, how much of our success or failure is influenced by pure chance.

On the other hand, many things attributed to chance are actually the aggregate effect of other people's choices. If we make choices based on not just what's best for ourselves but what's best for all of us, we will all suddenly become more "lucky". And vice versa, if we only think about ourselves that luck will diminish.

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Re: Nine things I learned in ninety years

#217

Post by wnscooke »

CPLX wrote: post #131
wnscooke wrote: post #123

EP did not say he achieved #1; about #2, "I spent much of my life in this state, and I know all about it."; "I first considered what seemed to be in my best interest, or, more often, gave no thought to the matter at all." is his take on #3; "my normal slouch" in #4; he makes no claim to have gained an eternal perspective, merely quoting others in #5; that "cloud of uncertainty" gives little confidence in #6; being 90…

Do you prefer to fly with pilots who have never landed a plane?

What I've read in his essay is that he piloted a flight simulator for most of his life, then read a manual and some things other people who wrote about flying and landing. So, yes, as I said, I prefer flying with pilots who have learned to land, are continuing to learn, and are getting better each time, with bigger planes and more people.

Re: Nine things I learned in ninety years

#218

Post by grugagag »

silexia wrote: post #155
a_c wrote: post #21

It is the simple things that is the hardest. If anything, having children revealed many of the mentioned. To me, having children is enlightenment

Having children is the literal purpose of all life forms. Birth control is the worst thing that humanity has invented.

Birth control is not to not have children but to control when you have children.

Re: Nine things I learned in ninety years

#219

Post by AnimalMuppet »

ant6n wrote: post #168
ropable wrote: post #36

> what an outsized role is played by luck This speaks to me. So much of our life circumstances are beyond our control (parents, genetics, geography, society, wider economy, etc.) It's humbling, how much of our success or failure is influenced by pure chance.

If life is decided by coin flips, you need to maximize the number of coin flips.

Depends on what happens if you lose the flip. If it's zero, vs a payout if you win, sure, maximize the number of flips.

But take, for example, smoking. You're flipping where the best outcome is zero, and the worst is cancer. Minimize the number of those flips.

Re: Nine things I learned in ninety years

#220

Post by nine_zeros »

Hot take but something I learned over many years - for anyone who wants to hear it:

The easiest way to a happy life is to follow the motto "live and let live".

Live - your life to the fullest. Use your liberty to build your own life. Don't sleepwalk into anything.

Let live - don't hurt or interfere with other's liberties. How others live is none of your business.

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