The Friendship Recession: The lost art of connecting

Post by wonderwonder » Sat, Apr 26, 2025, 8:05 PM UTC

Aurornis wrote: post #164

xiande04 wrote: post #150

Earlier quoted context omitted.

You just said all the things that you do while raising kids. What is it that you are doing differently that allows you to do all those things? Is it simply just a matter of hiring a cleaner? Because otherwise, as the father of a 1 and 5 year old, I completely agree with OP and find your story unbelievable. Like OP I work/exercise/do chores from 6 am to 10 pm. I'm on HN right now only because it's Saturday and I'm rel…

I have kids in similar ages and I also find time with friends. Even on some weekdays. > Like OP I work/exercise/do chores from 6 am to 10 pm. I hear this a lot, but let’s be honest: You don’t need to exercise and do chores every single day for the entire time outside of work, do you? Would it be the end of the world if you met up with a friend one night instead of going to the gym? Could you invite a friend to the gy…

Post by toomuchtodo » Sat, Apr 26, 2025, 8:08 PM UTC

zeroonetwothree wrote: post #210

toomuchtodo wrote: post #196

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> Are you suggesting that only the wealthy can realistically afford to have children today, or that parents increasingly treat their children like status symbols or pets? A little of both. Kids are a luxury good in the current macro. The cost to raise a child from 0-18 in the US in 2023 dollars is ~$330k (Brookings, USDA). This does not include daycare (~$1k/month if you can find a slot) nor college. No sick leave no…

The sources I found do include daycare in the cost to raise a child, indeed child care is around 50% of that number.

Post by sgt » Sat, Apr 26, 2025, 8:13 PM UTC

zeroonetwothree wrote: post #207

Aurornis wrote: post #174

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I don’t pay for a cleaner and still have plenty of time for friends. I think people overestimate how much time a cleaner saves. It’s helpful if you can afford it but IMO it’s not the life-changing improvement that you hear about on Reddit and other places. Someone who comes once per week to spend an hour or two cleaning could give an hour or two back (usually not 1:1 because they clean deeper than you would yourself…

I have a 3x/week housekeeper and it means I practically don't clean at all, including tidying/putting things away. Costs around $15k/yr though, so not for everyone. I wouldn't do this if not for kids though.

Post by em-bee » Sat, Apr 26, 2025, 8:13 PM UTC

redczar wrote: post #6

MattGaiser wrote: post #2

> The government slowed down its investment in and construction of third spaces—such as community centers, parks, and coffee shops—which has left fewer places for organic social interactions. My anecdotal impression is that people don't really use those that are available very much and the drop in investment is because of that. I have organized a few events in community halls over the past few years and I have been s…

[flagged]

Post by zug_zug » Sat, Apr 26, 2025, 8:15 PM UTC

closewith wrote: post #94

zug_zug wrote: post #64

Earlier quoted context omitted.

>> What is a close friend? Before we can start asking people if they have any we should probably agree on a definition. If you use the Hollywood standard, then probably none of us have close friends. I've come to this same conclusion, but rarely express it because it's possible I'm just different. And I'd even go one step further, I think what a lot of people say friendship is, isn't actually what human friendship is…

These don't represent real or Hollywood friendships at all. > - Completely perfect and devoid of all realities of life Friendships are relationships that stand the test of time and hardship. You work through problems, illnesses including mental health struggles, deaths, employment and money problems, family and relationship problems, legal problems, all sorts. > - No jealousy, no competition, no negative feelings The…