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Need help with students who've turned my class into a dating service

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Re: Need help with students who've turned my class into a dating service

#211

Post by hsn915 »

fastball wrote: post #153
hsn915 wrote: post #146

Earlier quoted context omitted.

That will not lead to a drop in fertility. Infact, that's exactly how high fertility societies operate. At least the Islamic ones, like Afghanistan for example, where the population doubled since 2001. Fertility has been dropping since the 80s, long before anything to do with wokeism or meetoo or whatever.

I don't think the population is doubling in Afghanistan because of segregated school classes. There might be another confounding factor you're forgetting...

> because of segregated school classes

That's not what I said.

I said high fertility societies strictly prohibit dating-like activities in daily life and limit it to pre-designated settings.

This can happen without sex seggergation in school.

Iraq's population also nearly doubled since 2003 (23m to 42m). Schools in Iraq have not been seggregated since forever.

Re: Need help with students who've turned my class into a dating service

#212

Post by blobbers »

8f2ab37a-ed6c wrote: post #13

I still have clear recollection of the 50:1 men-to-women ratio in my CS2xx classes and higher. Your odds weren't good if you were hoping to meet Mrs. Right. I imagine things have gotten better since. Still, seems like a fairly high effort low outcome place to meet someone who is likely not even receptive to advances in that context. Do colleges not offer many other opportunities for people to meet outside of class in…

I met Mrs. Right in one of those classes! But like time she eventually slipped away and I never saw her again...

Re: Need help with students who've turned my class into a dating service

#213

Post by onepointsixC »

Dalewyn wrote: post #174
onepointsixC wrote: post #155

Earlier quoted context omitted.

This has to be one of the worst pieces of dating advice ever written. Universities are one of the best places to meet people as a student.

Let me clarify: You don't pork out during your academic day; you get acquainted during the day to get the ball rolling, and then proceed with the porking once you've punched out and are now spending your private time.

So what, you're hoping that potential love interests just stagnate like you and don't date and find other partners? No. This is highly unrealistic of normal young men and women.

Re: Need help with students who've turned my class into a dating service

#214

Post by JuniorBalleg »

GlenTheMachine wrote: post #89
JuniorBalleg wrote: post #60

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Why would you think that? Young women aren't oblivious to their own charms. They know what they're doing. They're getting free 1-on-1 tuition from a nerd, and the nerd gets to be within 3 feet of an attractive young woman - maybe even more than that, let's not be naive about college campuses - which might otherwise be impossible. Everybody wins. You might even upset the women most of all! When the quiet part is said…

Because I have an attractive daughter studying engineering, and she tells me that her single biggest problem is that she constantly has to reject, avoid, or otherwise fend off male advances nearly every day. It's exhausting, it makes her never feel at ease in her classes, and she is constantly being distracted when what she really wants is quiet time to figure out integration by parts or whatever. As a male, this is…

That doesn't follow. You were implying that the women are not aware of the men's motives, and going along with it out of naivety.

That your daughter is rejecting them outright would suggest that it's either a futile plan anyway, or that the women are already on to it so the announcement would be pointless.

Perhaps your daughter doesn't need or want to cash in on her attractiveness for academic favours. Others will, quite readily. Men sure as hell aren't saints, but nor are women.

Re: Need help with students who've turned my class into a dating service

#215

Post by ZephyrBlu »

I-love-india wrote: post #93
nhchris wrote: post #43

> This might be hard, as no unwanted advances are taking place. We simply have students excelling at the course, and drawing-in a crowd. I should've been more clear with my "leching" comment. Still, it seems harassing in nature. It seems increasingly that society demands a world where dating only happens during designated and approved dating times and venues, and outside those strictly delimited places, men are to be…

No, you just to treat women with respect. The issue here is intention. The intention here is not about teaching or learning in the class. But its using that pretence in fact distrupting the intention of the class and people there. How do you like your intention distrupted? How about by unattractive slobs who are objectifying you and trying to be "helpful" and trying tricks they found on internet If someone is trying…

Taking a class, participating in labs and offering tutoring purely to find a partner is an extremely high effort attempt from a man. Men try less respectful and far more thinly veiled attempts on women all the time.

> Isn't it totally distracting to you if someone you're not attracted in is looking at you and commenting on you and trying to "help" you?

And what if they are attractive?

Re: Need help with students who've turned my class into a dating service

#216

Post by Spivak »

fzeroracer wrote: post #82

It's so weird to see people defend this because this seems like fairly textbook power harassment. If this was to occur at work where some managers were organizing their pods or such so that they're the only man in a group of women for the sake of dating it would clearly be seen as a problem. If the story is true, people auditing courses should be treated with a higher level of responsibility. Giving preferential trea…

Thank you! Fuckin’ a, I can’t believe I had to scroll down this far to find someone who actually understands the dynamic here. People help each other out and study together in college courses. These guys know that and are orchestrating the situation to position themselves as a valuable resource to their female classmates and selectively dole it out based on their desire to (generously) date them or (realistically) sleep with them. Ew.

I can’t even imagine how pissed I would be if I found out a guy I was talking to used that app. Like oh cool you’re not actually helping me because we’re classmates taking the same course together, this is actually some weird scheme where we trade tutoring for “access” to me but I’m of course not allowed to know this arrangement because it would expose how gross the whole idea even is.

Re: Need help with students who've turned my class into a dating service

#217

Post by toomuchtodo »

SpeedilyDamage wrote: post #168
dymk wrote: post #84

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Birth rates are tanking because of increased access to contraceptives and people having the wealth and freedom to enjoy their 20s and 30s unburdened by children

My wife and I are having a very hard time convincing ourselves to have kids for exactly this reason. We're wealthy, free to pursue our hobbies, and advance in our careers. Nobody's body is getting wrecked, nobody's free time and sleep is getting upended, and it's generally a Very Good Time. Both having kids and not having kids feels selfish for different reasons. It's hard to really feel like there's a right answer h…

I strongly recommend against it. We had kids and it has wrecked our mid 30s and early 40s. It’s only going to work out because I made prudent investments earlier in life and built a robust network of colleagues who help ensure I’m fully employed at all times. Embrace what you have, life is short. Don’t sacrifice happiness for FOMO.

Re: Need help with students who've turned my class into a dating service

#218

Post by honkler »

GalenErso wrote: post #20
gedy wrote: post #15

People can tsk tsk this, but it's damn hard to find a mate if you are not in the top 20% of (straight) men, and basically requires you to be aggressive like this. You may be praised for being a "nice guy" by being passive, but it will not get you dates.

As a woman, I can speak on experience that women will run away from any space men try to invade to seek us, whether it's dating apps, classes, bars, etc. The last thing I want is for a horde of thirsty men to chase me.

all men or only ugly men?

Re: Need help with students who've turned my class into a dating service

#219

Post by ShredKazoo »

texaslonghorn5 wrote: post #123
ShredKazoo wrote: post #108

Earlier quoted context omitted.

>fairly textbook power harassment I thought "power harassment" is when you have power over someone. How does auditing a course give you power over fellow students? >the intention behind joining in the first place is what matters What's wrong with having an intention of finding someone to marry? Suppose a woman signs up for eHarmony with the intention of meeting her future husband -- is that problematic?

if you know the material and are offering the tutoring sessions then you clearly have power over the person whom you are tutoring. similar reason why dating your student as a TA is questionable.

If you know the material, that gives you the power to offer tutoring sessions, which is power over people who don't know the material.

>dating your student as a TA is questionable

TAs are paid employees who often grade student papers. Seems like a very different situation.

Re: Need help with students who've turned my class into a dating service

#220

Post by commandlinefan »

aborsy wrote: post #19

Maybe address the imbalance of men and women in some branches of studies. How are people supposed to meet relevant mates? I mean, they could use an app or social events, but you could raise the same complaints there too.

> How are people supposed to meet relevant mates?

I suspect the complainants real problem is that she doesn’t want these men to meet mates ever.

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