Young adults and mental health: Is more childhood independence the answer? • Hacker News Board

Re: Young adults and mental health: Is more childhood independence the answer?

#211

Post by lostmsu » Sat, Dec 31, 2022, 4:37 AM UTC

lotsofpulp wrote: post #157

bostonwalker wrote: post #90

> Clinical psychologist Camilo Ortiz, a professor at Long Island University-Post, began noticing a few years ago that some of his young patients, mostly children being treated for anxiety, would “fold very quickly” at the first sign of adversity This is a perfect description of someone I met recently on a road trip with friends. From our first encounter he came off as feeling miserable and sorry for himself. He didn’…

> Instead of confronting him and hurting his feelings we let him keep driving and we would shoulder check for him. Very dangerous and we knew it. Sounds like you guys also folded. The mentally and emotionally resilient thing to do would have been to not endanger multiple lives for the sake of this anxious person’s pride.

It is dangerous to stop on the highway to change a driver.

Re: Young adults and mental health: Is more childhood independence the answer?

#212

Post by MacsHeadroom » Sat, Dec 31, 2022, 4:39 AM UTC

bbreier wrote: post #185

this_user wrote: post #125

Earlier quoted context omitted.

As a European, US colleges/universities seem more like boarding schools. Here, no university would think that they have any business interfering with students' personal lives or anything they do outside a lecture hall, because they are considered adults. More broadly speaking, there seems to be a tendency in current US culture of infantilising young adults. I have repeatedly seen people in their early 20s referred to…

I can't think of any times my university cared about anything I did outside of the lecture hall (besides maybe my professors caring about me having done the work?) in the US. What are you referring to?

Did you live in a dorm and did your dorm room have a stove and/or oven?

Re: Young adults and mental health: Is more childhood independence the answer?

#213

Post by shagie » Sat, Dec 31, 2022, 4:41 AM UTC

twayt wrote: post #25

Many young women feel like they’re failures because they can’t meet the unrealistic expectations society has of them to be successful, beautiful and nurturing. Many young men feel like they’re failures because they can’t meet society’s expectations success, attractiveness and fatherhood. Society has always had winners and losers, the global nature of things makes people more aware of higher standards and the threat t…

There is an article I keep pointing to for this - Why Generation Y Yuppies Are Unhappy https://waitbutwhy.com/2013/09/why-generation-y-yuppies-are-...

It has the premise that...

Boomers had a "work hard and you'll get there eventually" combined with a period of economic growth resulting in better reality than the expectations.

Gen Y (and gen Z) aspire to that growth (note that the economics haven't been there) and have been told that they are special and to "pursue your dreams". Consider the "fulfilling career" vs "secure career" ideals for the young adults of the past decade.

This results in the idea that you'll make $150k as a software developer out of college or that you'll be able to find a job as an itinerant marine biologist studying whales in tropical locations. Those expectations falter when they hit reality.

The rise of the influencer and idealized life has contributed to the perception that everyone else is doing great (meanwhile that person isn't) and the "I'm not an itinerant marine biologist while my friends are posting about their destination weddings... their perfect kids and their spouse's perfect job."

And you've got a rather disappointing situation to be in that can negatively impact mental health.

Re: Young adults and mental health: Is more childhood independence the answer?

#214

Post by thanhhaimai » Sat, Dec 31, 2022, 4:44 AM UTC

> Chentsova Dutton and her team interviewed students from Turkey, Russia, Canada and the United States, asking them to describe a risky or dangerous experience they had in the _last month_. Both Turkish and Russian students described witnessing events that involved actual risk: violent fights on public transportation; hazardous driving conditions caused by drunk drivers; women being aggressively followed on the street.

> But American students were far more likely to cite as dangerous things that most adults do every day, like being alone outside or riding alone in an Uber.

The examples they listed about "violent fights" and similar are not common in the environment I'm living in. I probably have seen once in the last 10 years. I don't think it's a good question to ask especially about _last month_. For example, the most dangerous stuff I did last month was running on wet grass in the park and almost fell.

P.S: I'm not saying the result is wrong. I have concern about the research methodology. It feels cherry picked, and it makes me doubt the data.

Re: Young adults and mental health: Is more childhood independence the answer?

#215

Post by lotsofpulp » Sat, Dec 31, 2022, 4:46 AM UTC

lostmsu wrote: post #211

lotsofpulp wrote: post #157

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> Instead of confronting him and hurting his feelings we let him keep driving and we would shoulder check for him. Very dangerous and we knew it. Sounds like you guys also folded. The mentally and emotionally resilient thing to do would have been to not endanger multiple lives for the sake of this anxious person’s pride.

It is dangerous to stop on the highway to change a driver.

Relative to being driven by a person who cannot drive? Obviously, not in the driving lanes, but pulling over on a shoulder and changing drivers is not dangerous enough to make me prefer continuing with a bad driver.

Re: Young adults and mental health: Is more childhood independence the answer?

#216

Post by granshaw » Sat, Dec 31, 2022, 4:46 AM UTC

lostmsu wrote: post #208

this_user wrote: post #125

Earlier quoted context omitted.

As a European, US colleges/universities seem more like boarding schools. Here, no university would think that they have any business interfering with students' personal lives or anything they do outside a lecture hall, because they are considered adults. More broadly speaking, there seems to be a tendency in current US culture of infantilising young adults. I have repeatedly seen people in their early 20s referred to…

From my sample of 1 young adults no longer fight to be treated like grown-ups. Moreover, don't seem to want that in the first place.

I find this pretty interesting - does it go hand in hand with younger generations seeing no hope for their future, whether it be climate change, being financially stable, having a fulfilling life, finding a partner?

Re: Young adults and mental health: Is more childhood independence the answer?

#217

Post by [deleted] » Sat, Dec 31, 2022, 4:48 AM UTC

lotsofpulp wrote: post #157

bostonwalker wrote: post #90

> Clinical psychologist Camilo Ortiz, a professor at Long Island University-Post, began noticing a few years ago that some of his young patients, mostly children being treated for anxiety, would “fold very quickly” at the first sign of adversity This is a perfect description of someone I met recently on a road trip with friends. From our first encounter he came off as feeling miserable and sorry for himself. He didn’…

> Instead of confronting him and hurting his feelings we let him keep driving and we would shoulder check for him. Very dangerous and we knew it. Sounds like you guys also folded. The mentally and emotionally resilient thing to do would have been to not endanger multiple lives for the sake of this anxious person’s pride.

[deleted]

Re: Young adults and mental health: Is more childhood independence the answer?

#218

Post by flycaliguy » Sat, Dec 31, 2022, 4:50 AM UTC

bostonwalker wrote: post #90

> Clinical psychologist Camilo Ortiz, a professor at Long Island University-Post, began noticing a few years ago that some of his young patients, mostly children being treated for anxiety, would “fold very quickly” at the first sign of adversity This is a perfect description of someone I met recently on a road trip with friends. From our first encounter he came off as feeling miserable and sorry for himself. He didn’…

He might be going through something currently and you aren’t getting a good read on his baseline personality. That whole running away crying thing might be a clue.

Re: Young adults and mental health: Is more childhood independence the answer?

#219

Post by iopq » Sat, Dec 31, 2022, 4:51 AM UTC

The government doesn't allow more independence. For example, letting kids walk to school by themselves. When I was a kid (around 10 years old) I would stay out by myself until way past dark, sometimes outside for 8+ hours without supervision.

Meanwhile:

https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/nation/2015/04/13/parent...

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2643217/Father-fine...

Re: Young adults and mental health: Is more childhood independence the answer?

#220

Post by bbreier » Sat, Dec 31, 2022, 4:52 AM UTC

MacsHeadroom wrote: post #212

bbreier wrote: post #185

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I can't think of any times my university cared about anything I did outside of the lecture hall (besides maybe my professors caring about me having done the work?) in the US. What are you referring to?

Did you live in a dorm and did your dorm room have a stove and/or oven?

Oh, I did live in a dorm and I guess it didn't. It was one small room for two people, maybe 150sqft or less, we had a communal kitchen.