Chris Seaton has died • Hacker News Board

Re: Chris Seaton has died

#211

Post by rented_mule » Sat, Dec 10, 2022, 7:41 AM UTC

pertymcpert wrote: post #199

rented_mule wrote: post #110

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Agreed. For many, myself included, receiving praise for an outcome gets internalized as setting that outcome as the minimum bar. It applies more pressure. For some, they hear that the outcome is valuable and punish themselves psychologically for not achieving it sooner. For some, it's even more complicated than that. A few years ago, I was managing the most impactful engineer I've ever been around (and I've seen a lo…

My god she sounds like a force of nature. I'd feel so small next to her.

She absolutely is a force of nature. But she has a giant heart and is passionate about the entire team sharing in each others' successes and everyone being respected. The result is that the people around her feel like they are doing the best work of their career because they are a true team. People came away with a better understanding of what they are capable of, and not feeling small at all.

I'm retired now. I delayed my plans around retirement until she moved on. One of the few things that would pull me out of retirement would be the chance to be led by her on a team doing work I feel passionate about.

Re: Chris Seaton has died

#212

Post by projektfu » Mon, Dec 12, 2022, 12:51 PM UTC

bluerooibos wrote: post #111

swader999 wrote: post #50

Earlier quoted context omitted.

The outpouring of love in the replies on that thread. It is tough to comprehend how that wasn't enough to prevent this.

Yeah. The guy had what appears to be a pretty great life. Looking through twitter, there's photos of him with his kids and wife. I just can't comprehend how someone can arrive at the decision to commit suicide, especially when you have a wife and children, and to then tweet about it. The human mind is an odd thing.

When I had refractory major depression it felt like a terminal illness. I often hoped I'd get hit by a car or someone would kill me in a mugging. When you're depressed, people also often treat you like you have leprosy. However, now I struggle to empathize with others who are going through the same thing.

Thankfully I found medication and life changes that worked, especially moving to a sunny climate. I also recommend sobriety, it stops a vicious cycle with depression and dependence.

Re: Chris Seaton has died

#213

Post by oceanician » Mon, Dec 12, 2022, 6:05 PM UTC

I feel Chris was a very intelligent human, who conveyed complex information, in a human-digestable manner, that many others of us struggle with.

I saw him present in Manchester at our ruby meetup, and later online.

We interacted a little about jobs at Shopify. But there didn't seem to be a part-time option for me. Something I need due to some health issues of my own.

I wonder if we as a group of ruby loving people, and the wider tech industry, can learn from this? I don't know.

It seems no matter what was said, the outcome would have been the same? I guess we'll never know. It's likely that those who worked with him, and were trusted, will perhaps say more intime. I hope they do not feel bad in any way. But perhaps there's aspects his family and close colleagues will be able to share intime, when things are less hurtful so we can learn a little from how to help others in this situation?

Big hugs to those close to Chris. And big respect to those writing amazing blogs in his memory.

Hugs to all.