Ok. So the author tells us that news is bad for us. Isn’t that well known since like ten years ago? When opening the article I had been hoping for something new...
...if y’all catch my drift here ;)
How I regained concentration and focus
211–220 of 429 posts
Re: How I regained concentration and focus
#212Earlier quoted context omitted.
I just can’t… it might be some counselor’s random cell phone calling me. Plus the kids go to many camps per summer, and many activities during the year, so I’d be constantly updating my phone book even if not for the main issue.
Kids survived perfectly fine in the past without their parents being available 24/7.
It seems disrespectful to my wife and the camps to refuse to be available for emergencies.
Re: How I regained concentration and focus
#213"Trivial inconveniences" are a big hurdle when trying to build a habit, but are a great tool for breaking bad ones. Anything you can do to break the dopamine loop helps, however small it may be. I've had success with: - setting long passwords to social media that aren't autofilled (saved in bitwarden) and logging out after each session - nerfing addicting parts of webapps (plugins which block the facebook news feed b…
> and logging out after each session
I started using a Cookie AutoDelete plugin for privacy reasons; but it's also been great for this purpose, so I don't have to remember to log out.
Re: How I regained concentration and focus
#214Earlier quoted context omitted.
Do you feel like there is really anything to "catch up" on? I'm in my mid 30s with no kids - while I can see that my career happens to be more advanced than close friends who had kids early, the signal to noise ratio is pretty high. I'd think about it this way: enjoy the path you've set yourself on and savour the years where you have both your kids and your health. When they become less dependent on you, the option t…
Tip: don’t give advice to people with kids when you don’t have them yourself. We don’t want it because you all have zero idea what we go through.
Are you the parent hive mind or what?
Re: How I regained concentration and focus
#215Earlier quoted context omitted.
This is a bit crude way to put it, but maybe you're right. At least for me, becoming a father changed my perspective on everything so much that it's almost like I'm not even the same species anymore as I was before having them. Sometimes people without children feel like they're not even proper adults even if they are older and/or more senior at work or whatever.
Spot on, I’m so different now than I was then I disregard anything anyone without kids says. > Sometimes people without children feel like they're not even proper adults I feel like they’re not real adults too.
Seek therapy now.
Re: How I regained concentration and focus
#216Earlier quoted context omitted.
Maybe. Maybe not. But no matter what those other people do, they’ll never ever be able to get more youthful, energetic years with their children and (hopefully) grandchildren. All that money and even Elon can’t buy time. I had kids relatively young for a yuppie male (27) and while that was 100% the “right time” I would have done it earlier if I had known how great they are.
I’m really struggling with this right now. I’m turning 33 next month and really want children. I have endless memories of my dad and grandfathers teaching me amazing lessons and being best/strongest men I have ever been around. I want to fulfill that role that for someone! We didn’t have much money but camping or diy building is something fondly reminisce on and made me who I am. My partner is 25 and is not decided o…
I read generated. Too much, too dense.
But let me still respond to this, as freedom of speech:
Leave a message for the top female executive at the company she most admires. Ask your wife then leave the message. Just tell them leave this message. I've heard of similar messages. That executive will talk to your wife and will try to give her the message you want to give her.
Apparently for women once you realize you're a fertility-dead-end your body takes its toll on your failure. Not for men as much because a man is fertile much longer, and more uncertainly, and it's more reasonable for him to be a fertility-dead-end because men are better and worse than women, they are a gamble by their very nature.
Re: How I regained concentration and focus
#217So basically block the entirety of Reddit, which I agree would be good for all humankind.
If you are talking about default subreddits then sure but there are some great communities on reddit that I think are great pieces of the internet. A lot of which I'm sure exist because people don't need 100 different forum accounts to access them. Also generally, I see no difference between reddit and Hacker News except Hacker News drips with a unique brand of elitist smarm you can't get elsewhere.
Re: How I regained concentration and focus
#218Earlier quoted context omitted.
The issue for me is, for example, my wife drops my kid off for a camp and then the camp calls me in an emergency. So I can’t just only take notifications from known callers.
You can do this. I do. Known numbers only and whitelist school, doctor, etc. If you really wanted to go further you could have a second number via google voice you only give to those places. Maybe even tie notifications on that to your calendar where you put your kids events.
Few years back brother of my spouse took his wife to Spain (thousends kilometrs from here) to drive around and see some sights. At some point they got a flat tire and while he was trying to fix it two nice gentlemans on motorbikes took everything they had by force (including phones). My spouse brother managed to borrow a phone frome some stranger that was driving by. And when he tried to call the only number they both could remember, his fathers, he did not answers.
Can You guess why? Thats right - he also had a policy to not take phone calls from unknown numbers (especially foreign). They had to go to ours country ambassy in Spain (which took a while) and beg for help.
Since that day his father answers all calls :)
Re: How I regained concentration and focus
#219Earlier quoted context omitted.
Who said anything about your current company?
I don't have the skills to switch to a different company, tech jobs are limited in my area, I don't perform well remotely, and my wife won't consider relocating. My current shitty job is the best job I can get.
Get the skills, limited doesn’t mean none, get better at performing remotely, drop the wife…
You are in complete control over your life, but you have to accept that responsibility. Stop blaming externalities and start owning your choices.
Re: How I regained concentration and focus
#220Duh.