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What If You Could Do It All Over?

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Re: What If You Could Do It All Over?

#211

Post by mysterydip »

pansa2 wrote: post #140
acwan93 wrote: post #8

This reminds me of “The Bell Jar” by Sylvia Plath, which has a quote Aziz Ansari used in his series “Master of None”: > "I saw my life branching out before me like the green fig tree in the story. From the tip of every branch, like a fat purple fig, a wonderful future beckoned and winked. One fig was a husband and a happy home and children, and another fig was a famous poet and another fig was a brilliant professor,…

Fantastic analogy. To go a bit further, what surprised me when trying to choose which branch to take was how narrow each branch is. It’s not enough to pick the “software development” branch, you have to pick a specialty within that. And, it has to be a single specialty. In my particular case, it was hard to accept that I couldn’t be both a successful programming language designer and a successful game developer.

Maybe, but you could be a successful programming language designer and a hobbyist game developer. Depends how you define success. Making money at games is something very few do, but many have fun just for the creative outlet.

Re: What If You Could Do It All Over?

#212

Post by kordlessagain »

ubertoop wrote: post #181
pansa2 wrote: post #140

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Fantastic analogy. To go a bit further, what surprised me when trying to choose which branch to take was how narrow each branch is. It’s not enough to pick the “software development” branch, you have to pick a specialty within that. And, it has to be a single specialty. In my particular case, it was hard to accept that I couldn’t be both a successful programming language designer and a successful game developer.

I think everyone wrestles with this a little bit. Should you really dig in and focus on mobile, web, server, game, firmware? If so, should you focus on one language? I don't so much question paths in my life as I feel very lucky to have ended up where I am. I do question on a daily basis, whether I should stop learning and adopting new technologies, and focus on ONE domain for the rest of my life. It seems I am desti…

There's probably an analogy here in cost of task switching. Switch too much and one finds themselves with too many tasks and too little time. Switch too little and the doings or learnings may become monotonous. As with most things good, it takes skill to play it well.

Re: What If You Could Do It All Over?

#213

Post by sircastor »

I think if I could “do it all over” it wouldn’t be any particular life choices I’d make differently, but to seek mental health treatment earlier on. I learned only recently that I suffer from depression, and I feel if I would have learned that earlier, I could have/would have understood myself a lot better. I don’t know if that would have changed my decisions, but I can tell you just knowing that information has change my life.

Re: What If You Could Do It All Over?

#214

Post by adamredwoods »

bonniemuffin wrote: post #190
dorchadas wrote: post #144

Earlier quoted context omitted.

As someone who feels like I've wasted most of my 20s since graduating university (turning 29 in 2021) with a job(s) I don't see any future in, man this hits hard. My lack of risk taking, and an unfortunately timed death in the family in 2016, really are me sitting there watching these figs dry up. Damn.

I executed a major career pivot at age 32 and now that I'm approaching 40, I'm so glad I did. It was hard but worth it. You have plenty of time, as long as you can put aside the feelings that you've waited too long and start looking for a path from your current life to the life you want. Those feelings will only hold you back. Now is a good time to pick a fig and start eating it. :)

It's never too late. I was drowning in debt a few years ago, in a bad career, and I was older than 40 [actual age undisclosed]. I don't have a solid retirement, but I'm now doing well and have some peace in my life.

My one life advice: Don't search for greatness, search for peace.

Re: What If You Could Do It All Over?

#215

Post by Apocryphon »

Eremotherium wrote: post #206
Apocryphon wrote: post #188

Earlier quoted context omitted.

The idea is that everyone has unifying motivations, often in a higher power, where they derive their personal sense of morality from. Whether religion, family, tradition, survival, knowledge, the invisible hand of the market, a love of humanity or life for its own sake, sheer pleasure, whatever. The point is that regardless of the original intent of the Judeo-Christian text, it seems an admirable enough message that…

The paradox of twelve steps is that you are supposed to consider yourself at powerless and submit to your higher power yet at the same time every failing is only down to you and resets all progress.

I make no claims about the program as a whole, I was just dropping a reference to another situation where people ascribe religiosity to a reference to god or higher power that could easily be secularized, if preferred, for the sake of personal development.

Re: What If You Could Do It All Over?

#216

Post by ffhhj »

acwan93 wrote: post #8

This reminds me of “The Bell Jar” by Sylvia Plath, which has a quote Aziz Ansari used in his series “Master of None”: > "I saw my life branching out before me like the green fig tree in the story. From the tip of every branch, like a fat purple fig, a wonderful future beckoned and winked. One fig was a husband and a happy home and children, and another fig was a famous poet and another fig was a brilliant professor,…

While Diogenes was relaxing in the morning sunlight, Alexander, thrilled to meet the famous philosopher, asked if there was any favour he might do for him. Diogenes replied, "Yes, stand out of my sunlight." Alexander then declared, "If I were not Alexander, then I should wish to be Diogenes." "If I were not Diogenes, I would still wish to be Diogenes," Diogenes replied.

Re: What If You Could Do It All Over?

#217

Post by pram »

kodah wrote: post #84

Much of my life hasn't played out how I expected. I had dreams like many people in high school and none of them came true. Instead of finishing college I joined the military after the stock market collapse in 2008/9. Impressions were left on me throughout my early life that I only came to know as an adult. My family got sick, I ruined the relationship that I'd worked for, and at times I alienated people close to me o…

This isn't as uncommon a path as you might believe. I was enlisted in the USAF from 2005-2010, spent months and months Iraq and Afghanistan etc. I have a $500k house with a literal fig tree in my backyard now. I don't assume people in my position or better had an easier time just because they went to college. One of my best friends is a Physics PhD from an Ivy League and he's a complete wreck so, it doesn't necessarily guarantee anything in particular lol

Re: What If You Could Do It All Over?

#218

Post by rukuu001 »

ekanes wrote: post #185
costcopizza wrote: post #147

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I feel the exact same way, and am the exact same age. But we’re 29, not 49 or even 39. There’re still figs on the tree.

46 year old here. Wave I remember feeling like I'd wasted so much time and was irreversibly behind in my twenties. Like, it was all decided. There are so so many figs left. Many many chances ahead of you! That said, time is ticking and while it isn't too late, now is the best time to start!

45, same story. It’s never too late.

Re: What If You Could Do It All Over?

#219

Post by SamPatt »

dorchadas wrote: post #162
abnercoimbre wrote: post #150

Earlier quoted context omitted.

29 and ditto. You know the phrase "30's is the new 20's." There's some truth to it, right?

I certainly hope so. But man, it's a sinking feeling when so many others seem to have it figured out at an even younger age. And knowing that the clock is ticking to actually go get those figs.

Here's a tip: Other people don't have life all figured out yet.

They might think they do, but life never unfolds itself according to our plans.

Never compare to others. You don't know what they're going through, or what they're going to go through.

It took me until my mid 30s to realize just how impossible the idea of "having life figured out" really is.

Re: What If You Could Do It All Over?

#220

Post by Buttons840 »

acwan93 wrote: post #8

This reminds me of “The Bell Jar” by Sylvia Plath, which has a quote Aziz Ansari used in his series “Master of None”: > "I saw my life branching out before me like the green fig tree in the story. From the tip of every branch, like a fat purple fig, a wonderful future beckoned and winked. One fig was a husband and a happy home and children, and another fig was a famous poet and another fig was a brilliant professor,…

Reminds me of the game of Go. Infinite possibilities in the beginning, but as the game progresses the end state of the board becomes clearer and clearer. Also, you can't have it all, sometimes you try to control the whole board and end up losing a lot of what you could have had.
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