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Who Americans spend their time with, by age

ourworldindata.org

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Re: Who Americans spend their time with, by age

#211

Post by Kalium »

intotheabyss wrote: post #178
hindsightbias wrote: post #80

Earlier quoted context omitted.

The post-Covid remote utopia so many seem to be excited about is going to be hard for a lot of workers. Work, lunch, happy hour, bowling, league sports. Now they all have is Slack.

What's wrong with spending less time with co-workers? These are people you have to spend time with, regardless if you like them or not. I would personally much rather not spend time with people I didn't choose to spend time with.

I think it may perhaps not be a question of "right" or "wrong". It will probably be a jarring change for many people as it affects major chunks of their regular social contact.

Re: Who Americans spend their time with, by age

#212

Post by ketzo »

lambda_obrien wrote: post #187

I'm 38, and very lonely lately (not just COVID) and seeing that "time spent alone" increases starting at age 38 really makes me depressed.

Hey, it's an average -- be the exception! My mom has an incredibly close circle of friends, none of whom knew each other before they were 45.

Re: Who Americans spend their time with, by age

#213

Post by bcherny »

gen220 wrote: post #71

The underlying data here is, of course, a distribution (each with its own distinct shape). In this case, I suspect that the "average" statistic is not the best representative of that distribution. For instance, "children" is definitely a bimodal distribution. There are many people in life who never have children, and therefore drag down the average for all those who do have children. I suspect that, in reality, there…

This is a great point. Can anyone find a link to the raw dataset? Happy to whip up a better visualization.

Re: Who Americans spend their time with, by age

#214

Post by moate »

arcticfox wrote: post #127
silveroriole wrote: post #94

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Well, it’s not my sentiment, it’s the figure in the graph!

Right, but to make your point, you made the incredibly bold assumption that every minute is equally as valuable as every other minute. So because time with children = one TV episode of time, it can't be that important.

It's actually the opposite: If this time was so valuable, why wouldn't there be more of it? Why is it so important for the individual to have a child if you're never going to spend any time with them down the line? This is about what a specific culture (Modern Americans) are valuing. You can agree or disagree with that valuation (and whether it's ungrateful children or active seniors causing the time issue) but it's a valid analysis.

Re: Who Americans spend their time with, by age

#215

Post by mwfunk »

burade wrote: post #130
Swizec wrote: post #88

Earlier quoted context omitted.

My mom always said ”Move far away enough that your parents can’t visit in their slippers, trust me you don’t want that kinda meddling” I moved to USA. “Damn it I didn’t mean that far” ~ mom My sister lives with her boyfriend in his mom’s house. There is indeed a ridiculous amount of meddling even though they’re technically separate households.

It's only meddling if you're way too stressed out by trying to keep up with capitalism. If you live a simple life without too much stress then it's not really meddling.

No it's boundary issues and meddling and it's not remotely OK.

Re: Who Americans spend their time with, by age

#216

Post by watwut »

urban_strike wrote: post #144
watwut wrote: post #102

Earlier quoted context omitted.

However, we have not been hunter gatherers for thousands of years. And we also live healthier and longer lives then they did.

Longer on average, yes, but I highly doubt healthier. I think we'd be in awe of the average health/fitness of a 30 year old hunter gatherer from 100,000 years ago, compared with the average corresponding human in modern times.

Most likely we would not. There are whole classes of sicknesses that dissappeared last 200 years which were caused by lack of various nutricients. Both difficulty to get them and lack of knowledge played role.

Add to it easy to cure sicknesses, injuries that are nothing more and would kill you back then, their higher chance to contact said injuries and it is unlikely they would be so much healthier.

Also, there is reason why agrarian societies pushed away hunter gatherers - it is just easier to stay alive and healthy. Getting all the food a hunter gatherer in all seasons is hard.

In addition, childbirth in their society would both kill or forever damaged more women. They would also have harder time to leave physicly abusive situation, meaning likely more of it, meaning yet another negative impact on their health.

Re: Who Americans spend their time with, by age

#217

Post by ThoreauBred »

burlesona wrote: post #36

The thing that seems crazy to me is how much time alone increases with age. There are many many reasons for it, but one thing I think is especially sad is how much this is a consequence of our built environment. If you live in a village with multiple generations of a family around, it’s much easier for grandparents to be involved day too day in helping with little things in the village, especially keeping an eye on t…

Did you read the bottom half of the linked website?

It clearly states more alone time does not necessarily mean they’re lonelier as individuals.

Perhaps as a species this nuclear family model we have to start with should really be giving way in later life to more autonomy?

After 20+ years being parented and pushed into team work, is it so terrible to consider enabling free agency and experience?

What makes me sad is the idea there’s objective truth to living in what we know was often an abusive and stifling lifestyle for many many people.

The easy fix: don’t personally seek a holy war where one does not exist. As soon as we start wondering what to do top down, we start focusing on arbitrary correctness and ignore the individual. Cultural “facts” always lose to facts of physical reality. No culture has found that perfect social glue. Maybe it’s a mirage fed to us through historical story, not something that is real?

Re: Who Americans spend their time with, by age

#218

Post by mwfunk »

AlwaysRock wrote: post #199
Swizec wrote: post #88

Earlier quoted context omitted.

My mom always said ”Move far away enough that your parents can’t visit in their slippers, trust me you don’t want that kinda meddling” I moved to USA. “Damn it I didn’t mean that far” ~ mom My sister lives with her boyfriend in his mom’s house. There is indeed a ridiculous amount of meddling even though they’re technically separate households.

The further I have moved from Family the more I have started to wish I was closer to them physically. Especially this year when our normal yearly gatherings were disrupted.

This is a well known phenomenon :) The best way to get closer to family is to move away, absence makes the heart grow fonder. If you want to have positive and constructive and long-lasting relationships with your family, move away from them, even if it's just an hour (whether that means an hour drive or a different time zone depends on the family).

Re: Who Americans spend their time with, by age

#219

Post by stingraycharles »

conradev wrote: post #75
burlesona wrote: post #36

The thing that seems crazy to me is how much time alone increases with age. There are many many reasons for it, but one thing I think is especially sad is how much this is a consequence of our built environment. If you live in a village with multiple generations of a family around, it’s much easier for grandparents to be involved day too day in helping with little things in the village, especially keeping an eye on t…

My grandma sold her house and we used some of the money to convert our garage into an apartment for her so that she could live with our family. Certainly not everyone can do this but living with your parents/grandparents as they get older does seem like a reasonable “fix” to me.

We’re going to be buying a house with my family, mother and her husband in 2021. What struck me as interesting is the responses of my friends to these plans; how much trouble this would cause me, that taking care of your parents is a huge effort, that they would never do this, etc.

I consider this attitude a good example of why things are the way they are. But I take pride in going against the norm here.

Re: Who Americans spend their time with, by age

#220

Post by GloriousKoji »

yboris wrote: post #150
wing-_-nuts wrote: post #11

I don't even want kids. I don't know why the 'time spent with one's children' line hurts so much, but it does. It sharply rises, before plummeting at age 40. That's got to be a jarring transition. No wonder so many folks have trouble with the 'empty nest' and mid-life crisis.

You don't have to have kids. I'm 35 years old; my wife and I (10 years together now) revisit this question yearly - neither of us want kids or wanted kids in these years. We're most likely never going to have kids (by choice). The way I see it, bringing a sentient being into this mad world needs to have a good personal reason, it shouldn't be the default that you need to find a reasons against.

I know this is highly subjective but what is a "good personal reason" for having kids?
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