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Career advice for people with bad luck

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Re: Career advice for people with bad luck

#211

Post by imprettycool »

throw4failure wrote: post #29

This seems like a good thread in which to try to solicit some advice, since it's at least tangentially related. I was terminated from my last job. In my opinion it was due to my chronic and major depression that I have since been seeking extensive treatment (medication, several months rent in therapy) for. I say "in my opinion" because I really can't rule out that I'm just a lazy, crappy developer who is trying to us…

I am in a similar position as you. I have a medical issue and I was fired in August 2018. Differences being:

- I intentionally got myself fired so I could get an extra $25k in salary/severance/unemployment.

- It was my first job out of college.

- I have positive references I can give. (my manager sucked, other people were cool)

- Medical issue is physical and not mental. (herniated disc / sciatica).

Here is my advice:

- Practice interviewing at a bunch of no-name companies you don't care about. I practiced at a dozen or so startups, got rejected by half of them and learned the red flags. Now I'm at the onsite stage at Google / Facebook, both asked about previous employment history, which I talked about, and everything worked out ok because I practiced.

- DO NOT MENTION, OR INSINUATE, YOU WERE FIRED. And don't lie. If you imply that you were fired, nobody will give you a chance. This sounds like a death sentence, but thankfully interviewers don't probe into it too much if you tell the right story in the right way. Find a good narrative and build on it like you would an essay. Practice this. Over and over and over and over again. It's hard to get right, but once you do, it becomes a non-issue.

- I try to avoid saying negative stuff about my last job. It's about 50/50, some hiring managers see it as a red flag and others sympathize. It's best to come up with and practice a few neutral stories to tell them

- Nobody cares about a 6-month employment gap. I know plenty of people that take more than a year off. If anyone asks just say you were focusing on your health, family, hobbies, whatever.

- See as many practitioners as you possibly can about your medical issue. Good ones are hard to find. It took me 20 tries (and $5k down the toilet) before I found someone who could treat me.

- I should have put this behind me way sooner. Moving to a different city helped me a ton. I'd recommend getting an Airbnb in Lake Tahoe or Hawaii if you can afford it.

Good luck.

Re: Career advice for people with bad luck

#212

Post by silexia »

philangist wrote: post #175
ChuckNorris89 wrote: post #148

Earlier quoted context omitted.

How do you find life there? From some acquaintances who moved there to work in tech I heard integration/dating/making friends is very difficult as a foreigner especially if you come from $UNCOOL_COUNTRY and the real estate market is terrible, with cramped and expensive apartments in a poor state and buying is even more difficult if you're not a swiss citizen which is a difficult citizenship to get.

If this is the case Zurich sounds exactly like New York (other than the difficulty of buying property for non-citizens). Might just be the feeling of alienation that arises from living in a big city as an outsider.

Zurich is a city of 300,000 people or so, New York is a hundred times larger.

Re: Career advice for people with bad luck

#214

Post by hckr_news »

chosenbreed37 wrote: post #203
LarryDarrell wrote: post #198

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I suspect it's because there isn't much advice to give. My answer, having checked a few of your boxes... Your lifetime wages are going to be lower than many of your peers. This is unlikely to change. Adjust your worldview accordingly. Don't assume any debt that relies on increasing future earnings to be comfortable. By all means, keep trying, but stay level headed. Success for most is not always right around the corn…

> Read some philosophy. Buy a reliable used car. Look inward for contentment. Try therapy if your shitty childhood and shitty parents made inward a hard place to look. I'd recommend the following: 1. Meditations - Marcus Aurelius 2. 12 Rules for Life - Jordan B Peterson 3. Letters from a self made merchant - John Graham

After my working life had induced anxiety, panic attacks, and a host of other issues which really started to rear their ugly head I’ve become a much more religious person. On top of the professional help I’ve sought out for these issues, it has also helped a lot in my case when you internalize deep that work/money/material success really doesn’t matter in the grand scheme and there’s a greater goal to work towards.

Re: Career advice for people with bad luck

#215

Post by dkersten »

TeMPOraL wrote: post #207
dkersten wrote: post #199

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Potentially very unpopular opinion, but to add to this, I think it’s irresponsible and unfair to the children if you choose to have have kids before your finances are in order. And selfish to put your desires above the wellbeing of the potential child’s.

We're talking in the thread about bad luck. It's entirely possible - and common - to have finances in order, decide to have children, and then experience sudden events causing financial hardships. Also, we're in a subthread of "saving lots o'moneys by working for big tech", so this applies also to people wanting to improve your situation. I personally didn't realize how bad the calculus of chasing after companies in…

I didn’t say I had anything against anybody who has kids and falls on hard times. I understand that makes my comment rather off topic in this thread. I do know a lot of people who definitely did not have their finances in order and decided to have children anyway. The children are the ones who suffer most in these cases! This is super irresponsible and selfish. Hell, I once knew a couple who literally said they might have a third child because it would be easier with the extra child support money...

Re: Career advice for people with bad luck

#216

Post by hpoe »

WhompingWindows wrote: post #209

The concept of "bad luck" is reinforced by endless self-comparison with those who had extremely good luck. It's MUCH more valuable to compare yourself to those who are unlucky: the mentally disabled, those who died from COVID at age 29, those born/raised in North Korea. Compared to these people, we've all hit the fucking jackpot. Adjust your mindset and you'll notice you're luckier than you thought you were.

“Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms—to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.” ― Viktor E. Frankl, Man's Search for Meaning

Re: Career advice for people with bad luck

#217

Post by [deleted] »

caymanjim wrote: post #135
throw4failure wrote: post #29

This seems like a good thread in which to try to solicit some advice, since it's at least tangentially related. I was terminated from my last job. In my opinion it was due to my chronic and major depression that I have since been seeking extensive treatment (medication, several months rent in therapy) for. I say "in my opinion" because I really can't rule out that I'm just a lazy, crappy developer who is trying to us…

Never admit that you were fired. Your prior employer isn't going to tell anyone, if they know what's good for them. Small, inexperienced companies with no lawyers might, but no real business is going to risk a lawsuit by saying anything bad about you whatsoever. They'll confirm that you worked there and that's about it. Six months is not a big deal. You've been told all your life that gaps in your resume are a proble…

[deleted]

Re: Career advice for people with bad luck

#218

Post by loughnane »

chosenbreed37 wrote: post #203
LarryDarrell wrote: post #198

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I suspect it's because there isn't much advice to give. My answer, having checked a few of your boxes... Your lifetime wages are going to be lower than many of your peers. This is unlikely to change. Adjust your worldview accordingly. Don't assume any debt that relies on increasing future earnings to be comfortable. By all means, keep trying, but stay level headed. Success for most is not always right around the corn…

> Read some philosophy. Buy a reliable used car. Look inward for contentment. Try therapy if your shitty childhood and shitty parents made inward a hard place to look. I'd recommend the following: 1. Meditations - Marcus Aurelius 2. 12 Rules for Life - Jordan B Peterson 3. Letters from a self made merchant - John Graham

On par w/ Meditations I'd also add Self-Reliance, an essay by Ralph Waldo Emerson.

Re: Career advice for people with bad luck

#219

Post by solidasparagus »

hysan wrote: post #183
username90 wrote: post #90

Step 1: Get a well paying job at a big tech company. There is very little luck involved in this, just get really good at algorithms. No need for a famous school, specific degree etc. It requires intelligence, if you don't have that then you need luck. Step 2: Save more than two thirds of your take home salary, you can still live way better than the people sweeping the office floor. Step 3: You now have a ton of money…

> Step 1: Get a well paying job at a big tech company. There is very little luck involved in this, just get really good at algorithms. No need for a famous school, specific degree etc. It requires intelligence, if you don't have that then you need luck. Sorry but no. Like everyone else has pointed out, this is so far from the truth that I’m actually in awe that someone would write this. There is a ton of luck involve…

You got rejected twice - so keep applying. Getting into a big company is mostly a matter of perseverance from what I've seen.

Re: Career advice for people with bad luck

#220

Post by vikramkr »

dkersten wrote: post #197
vikramkr wrote: post #192

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I was replying to the bulk of the comments in the post above, which were along the lines of not wanting to go because of age/liking hometown etc, and specifically mentioned at the end that there are valid barriers to consider, including one in the original post about the complexity of immigration. There are true barriers in the way, my disagreement was with the ones listed above.

Ok, that’s fair enough. I don’t disagree, I just think that it’s often out of your control (which it sounds like you agree with too).

I do agree with that. If its out of your control, its out of your control. I see that as the difference between "want" (I dont want to leave) and "can't" (I cant leave). Living in a community of immigrant families and a city of immigrants here by NYC has colored that perspective for me since I'm surrounded by people that went through hell for a better life, including my own family. I personally am of course incredibly privileged that I get to just be born here and have the opportunities that come with being an American. But my own family has been uprooted 3 times within my own lifetime so far moving around the country to pursue better opportunities before winding up here, and that pales in comparison to what others have gone through. If you can't you can't, but if you don't want to, well, selection bias, but I'm surrounded by the people that did anyway.
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