Diamonds Suck (2006) • Hacker News Board

Re: Diamonds Suck (2006)

#211

Post by gkya » Wed, May 30, 2018, 5:38 PM UTC

GuB-42 wrote: post #161

boobsbr wrote: post #47

If your marriage being successful, fulfilling and happy depends on a chunk of expensive rock and/or metal, you'd better not get married.

It is not about the object itself, it is about respecting your partner's values. If an expensive ring means a lot to your partner, then it is definitely important for your marriage. The same can be said for extramarital sex. Assuming proper precautions are taken to avoid medical issues, rationally, it is not a big deal. And yet, besides a small minority of couples who embrace open marriage, this is hugely important.…

It's also a measure of the value of your partner's personality. A SO which needs me to communicate in $$$ is the last thing I'd ever want in my life. It's a glaring symptom of a shallow personality.

Re: Diamonds Suck (2006)

#212

Post by gkya » Wed, May 30, 2018, 5:44 PM UTC

xstartup wrote: post #202

lgl wrote: post #157

Earlier quoted context omitted.

When I pay for a diamond, I don't pay for its intrinsic value. I pay for diamonds because other people around me feel they are expensive and you've to be rich enough to set your money on fire (like you do while purchasing a diamond). It's a signal for others that I am "fuck you money" rich. This may have been a sarcastic post (?) but why do you care if other people think you have "fuck you money"? That just makes you…

> This may have been a sarcastic post (?) but why do you care if other people think you have "fuck you money"? That just makes you look intellectually weak and poor imho. But here's one thing that "fuck you money" won't buy: class. Why should I care if that makes me look intellectually weak and poor imho? I am from old banker family, I love diamonds and I collect them. I gave you other reasons for which I collect all…

> I am born into it, there is no reason for me to buy.

What a self-annihilating affirmation this is! A fucking gem :) You're rich and hilarious!

Re: Diamonds Suck (2006)

#213

Post by quadyeast » Wed, May 30, 2018, 6:21 PM UTC

dkobia wrote: post #70

Unfortunately this is one of those American traditions we love to hate but are for the moment powerless to change. Your significant other may not care but societal pressure and expectation is hard to get around. She has a mother, sisters, friends etc. It is the same reason an expensive handbag makes absolutely no sense to a man but matters so much to a woman. It is confounding.

What would be the downside of buying a large flawless synthetic diamond? You can be sure it is not a blood diamond.

Re: Diamonds Suck (2006)

#214

Post by quadyeast » Wed, May 30, 2018, 6:24 PM UTC

xstartup wrote: post #202

lgl wrote: post #157

Earlier quoted context omitted.

When I pay for a diamond, I don't pay for its intrinsic value. I pay for diamonds because other people around me feel they are expensive and you've to be rich enough to set your money on fire (like you do while purchasing a diamond). It's a signal for others that I am "fuck you money" rich. This may have been a sarcastic post (?) but why do you care if other people think you have "fuck you money"? That just makes you…

> This may have been a sarcastic post (?) but why do you care if other people think you have "fuck you money"? That just makes you look intellectually weak and poor imho. But here's one thing that "fuck you money" won't buy: class. Why should I care if that makes me look intellectually weak and poor imho? I am from old banker family, I love diamonds and I collect them. I gave you other reasons for which I collect all…

... I think he meant the other class

Re: Diamonds Suck (2006)

#215

Post by [deleted] » Wed, May 30, 2018, 6:46 PM UTC

gkya wrote: post #212

xstartup wrote: post #202

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> This may have been a sarcastic post (?) but why do you care if other people think you have "fuck you money"? That just makes you look intellectually weak and poor imho. But here's one thing that "fuck you money" won't buy: class. Why should I care if that makes me look intellectually weak and poor imho? I am from old banker family, I love diamonds and I collect them. I gave you other reasons for which I collect all…

> I am born into it, there is no reason for me to buy. What a self-annihilating affirmation this is! A fucking gem :) You're rich and hilarious!

[deleted]

Re: Diamonds Suck (2006)

#216

Post by privacypoller » Wed, May 30, 2018, 7:42 PM UTC

gh02t wrote: post #135

stevehawk wrote: post #124

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I will say that at 37 years of age i believe my wedding was the most important party i have thrown in my life. With people giving up an entire weekend to fly in to a central location for my wife and I it seemed only fair to make sure everyone had a great time. It's pretty easy for a wedding and reception to be boring for your guests.

Heh, that's the conundrum about weddings. It's supposed to be about you and your spouse, but the people getting married end up spending all their time stressing out over keeping the guests entertained.

in my experience and I suspect most western countries it's about the bride, but the groom's role is largely ornamental.

You are right about the amount of big-day work though; we had a huge spread of food and booze and I remember eating a couple of crackers and a single glass of wine over the entire evening. This was a very relaxed version of a wedding as well; too much glad-handling to actually have fun.

Re: Diamonds Suck (2006)

#217

Post by mysterydip » Wed, May 30, 2018, 7:51 PM UTC

gregoriol wrote: post #144

mysterydip wrote: post #80

Earlier quoted context omitted.

She's even had random strangers (like a store checkout clerk or hotel front desk) ask to see it closer and then compliment what a good job I did (not tooting my own horn, I and others think it's just as silly as you do, but if you want the girl you get her what she wants).

"but if you want the girl you get her what she wants" That's the sadest thing I've read today.

What I meant was, if you love someone you want to make them happy, and in the grand scheme of things wasn't much over the course of a lifetime committment. I can see how it was worded gave the wrong impression.

Re: Diamonds Suck (2006)

#218

Post by cf498 » Wed, May 30, 2018, 9:39 PM UTC

koolba wrote: post #208

cf498 wrote: post #199

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Weddings are a good example of horrible vicious social pressure depending on where you live. Too much of this is similar to "The child of a proper family marries at a certain age and gets a proper wedding".

> Weddings are a good example of horrible vicious social pressure depending on where you live. Fight the power! Be the change! > Too much of this is similar to "The child of a proper family marries at a certain age and gets a proper wedding". Getting married "at a certain age" (i.e. young) isn't necessarily a bad thing. On the contrary, I'd argue that being a parent (or grandparent!) while you're still young, active,…

The emphasis is on "proper", i.e. the pressure to do that at the socially required age in the expected fashion to proof your worth, which you find in different versions throughout large parts of the world.

Be it most blatantly the shaming of older unmarried women in Chinese society or more practically arranged marriages of young girls in rural middle eastern areas. Honor killings are just the crassest and most publicized method to uphold the second tradition, but if you read reports of women who went through this, the first part is always brutal social pressure by the direct family including "asking" and begging by their own mothers. Never underestimate the viciousness of parents who think they are pushing their children to do the "right" thing and are not above making this their first priority.

If I caught someone in my family pulling crap like continually pressuring spouses to spend above their means and force them into debt with that line of argument they will likely have to reevaluate whether they might be better off without me in their life. A lot of people sadly only realize this after they see family members trying to do the same thing to the next generation. Differently put, depending on how much grandma doesnt understand the word "no stop it" she wont be coming over for the holidays anymore.

Re: Diamonds Suck (2006)

#219

Post by isostatic » Wed, May 30, 2018, 9:54 PM UTC

privacypoller wrote: post #216

gh02t wrote: post #135

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Heh, that's the conundrum about weddings. It's supposed to be about you and your spouse, but the people getting married end up spending all their time stressing out over keeping the guests entertained.

in my experience and I suspect most western countries it's about the bride, but the groom's role is largely ornamental. You are right about the amount of big-day work though; we had a huge spread of food and booze and I remember eating a couple of crackers and a single glass of wine over the entire evening. This was a very relaxed version of a wedding as well; too much glad-handling to actually have fun.

> the groom's role is largely ornamental.

15% of the weddings I've been to didn't have a groom

Re: Diamonds Suck (2006)

#220

Post by isostatic » Wed, May 30, 2018, 10:11 PM UTC

gnulinux wrote: post #165

isostatic wrote: post #4

> If I can prevent a single reader from needlessly dropping $6,000-10,000+ on a diamond engagement ring, this site will be a success. Financial worries are the #1 cause of stress in a married relationship - there is absolutely NO excuse to start your married life by taking on that level of debt. Average U.S. wedding cost $30k in 2014, while the average engagement ring was $5600, or 19% of the cost [0] https://www.val…

> (especially given about half will end in divorce) If a person was married in their 20s and 30s but their marriage ends in a divorce in 40s this person spent a very significant part of their life with a companion. It simply doesn't matter that the marriage ended up with a divorse, as long as it lasted and both parties were satisfied, it was a marriage. The fact that the marriage ended up with a divorce doesn't make…

7 year marriage and $30k is still $12 a day.

(My own marriage probably cost $30k - was a decade ago and I forget. But then we had 60 guess, at least half of whom if I employed would cost at least $600 for the day, so the bigger cost may well be lost earnings)