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Parents now spend twice as much time with their children as 50 years ago

economist.com

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Re: Parents now spend twice as much time with their children as 50 years ago

#211

Post by tomc1985 »

Pulcinella wrote: post #148
mrkurt wrote: post #110

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I do think the lose-your-kids-to-CPS fear is a little overblown. But it's a little silly to say "they didn't call CPS, they called the police". The outcome is the same, and people almost always call the police instead of CPS directly.

The original comment I was responding to specifically said “you can have CPS called on” you. Many people then pointed out the case of the Meitiv family even though nobody called CPS on them. Somebody called the police because they saw children playing in a parking garage unattended. Nobody called the police and said “the Meitiv’s children are playing in the neighborhood unattended.”

"you can have CPS called on you" doesn't imply a direct relationship between the reporter and CPS. The end result is the what matters.

Re: Parents now spend twice as much time with their children as 50 years ago

#212

Post by tomc1985 »

conanbatt wrote: post #108
DoubleCribble wrote: post #58

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Mystery power outages that seem to hit only our house have been known to occur in my neighborhood on fine weather days. It's like a ghost in the breaker box or something...

Kids today learn faster than we did also. One they he will fix the breaker box for you and its GG dad. I truly consider that my kid will be able to use the internet against me in ways inimaginable. Its exciting!

My parents used to swipe critical computer parts from my machine as punishment, to take it away. Things like power cords, keyboards -- little stuff that cripples the computer. But I had spares for days, stuffed in a little box in the back of my closet :)

Re: Parents now spend twice as much time with their children as 50 years ago

#213

Post by pbhjpbhj »

Consultant32452 wrote: post #133
xutopia wrote: post #97

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Parents are beat. Both my now ex-wife and I had a burnout in the last 2 years. Work demands are higher than ever and our kids were also demanding. /edit The reason we're on our phones is that we're just too damn tired to interact with humans properly.

>Work demands are higher than ever I suspect you meant this within the context of your own life, but historically that's almost certainly untrue. 50 years ago you likely would've had a job doing much more grueling work in less comfortable conditions. Conversely, your ex-wife would not have had an income producing job at all and after the age of 4-5 would've sent the kid outside for significant portions of the day.

Do you have any insight on the "after age 4-5"?

My youngest is nearly 2 and can hold his own on a parking field, at a playpark, in a woodland, digging in the garden, etc.. Seems early 20th Century kids would be out there at an earlier age, certainly working class kids.

Re: Parents now spend twice as much time with their children as 50 years ago

#214

Post by DoubleCribble »

conanbatt wrote: post #108
DoubleCribble wrote: post #58

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Mystery power outages that seem to hit only our house have been known to occur in my neighborhood on fine weather days. It's like a ghost in the breaker box or something...

Kids today learn faster than we did also. One they he will fix the breaker box for you and its GG dad. I truly consider that my kid will be able to use the internet against me in ways inimaginable. Its exciting!

One day the kid may outsmart the sly, old fox. Hopefully, today is not that day!

Re: Parents now spend twice as much time with their children as 50 years ago

#215

Post by Dylan16807 »

picodguyo wrote: post #26

It's interesting that reactions to stories about parenting are always default-negative no matter what. People are saying this stat just shows we are smothering our children. Had it been the opposite (half as much time), people would be accusing parents of outsourcing childcare.

> Had it been the opposite (half as much time), people would be accusing parents of outsourcing childcare.

It's not exactly strange for "X time allocation has doubled" and "X time allocation has halved" to both be bad.

If we back off the argument to looking at smaller changes, and truly looking at whether less or more is better... I'm not sure if parenting is special here. Maybe it's just that it's really easy to think of examples where people do too much, and examples where people do too little. So a change in either direction is a bad thing for those people, especially if they're more prone to follow along the way they were already going.

Re: Parents now spend twice as much time with their children as 50 years ago

#216

Post by pbhjpbhj »

wiredfool wrote: post #49
kelukelugames wrote: post #5

> One analysis of 11 rich countries estimates that the average mother spent 54 minutes a day caring for children in 1965 but 104 minutes in 2012. Men do less than women, but far more than men in the past: their child-caring time has jumped from 16 minutes a day to 59. I spend 100+ minutes every day changing diapers. Actually that's not true, most of my time is spent trying to put the stupid newborn to go to sleep. I…

I remember that. A newborn who didn't want to sleep, no matter the hour, and parents so far into sleep deprivation that the only thing that mattered was sleep. I'm not sure how a baby that's supposed to sleep 18 hours a day can be awake all night, but... it certainly seems that way. Looking back, trying to make a baby sleep is like pushing a rope. It only works when they want to. If you can, tag team. For at least a…

Also, sleep when they sleep. If you think you can do chores in the first weeks think again.

Re: Parents now spend twice as much time with their children as 50 years ago

#217

Post by eric_h »

seanmcdirmid wrote: post #33
baldfat wrote: post #7

The problem is that 90% of the time the parents are now on their phones. Seriously I find myself on my phone and not interacting with my kids at times and I am super sensitive about phones. I don't allow phones during meals, during family time and not when someone is talking with you. I break my own rules a ton :(

My 11 month old already sees my iPhone as a threat and goes for it with his teeth whenever he sees me using it. Or he just wants to play with it himself; at anyrate it is very difficult to use my phone around him now.

I have the same problem with my cats.

Re: Parents now spend twice as much time with their children as 50 years ago

#218

Post by pbhjpbhj »

nasalgoat wrote: post #171
Troyboy wrote: post #19

How is this even possible when nearly all households requiring dual incomes?

Weekends. Dad used to fiddle in the basement or go golfing, now he goes to soccer practice or the park.

Did dad used to fix stuff in the basement, rather than "fiddle", everything now is made to break and be harder to repair than to replace ...

Re: Parents now spend twice as much time with their children as 50 years ago

#219

Post by otakucode »

mattgreenrocks wrote: post #208
fleitz wrote: post #201

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I find one of the most effective ways to do more with less is to ignore work after work, enjoy my life and show up the next day well rested and not stressed. If it's important you'll get a call. When I do work at a place that prides itself on people being available around the clock, i'll delay send / reply to something right before bed and then plugging in my phone in another room. Gives the appearance of working the…

> I find one of the most effective ways to do more with less is to ignore work after work It's a shame that the concept of "having a life" as we pejoratively said in the 90s seems to have been forgotten.

Hah. Are you aware that there used to be a phrase everyone knew referred to as a 'speed-up'? It was the opposite side of the coin of a work slowdown. Everyone knows what a slowdown is. It's when workers try to get higher wages or apply pressure on their employer by intentionally working more slowly. And it used to be equally universally known that the opposite side of the coin was equally immoral and disgusting - for an employer to expect a worker to produce more value without the employer having to pay more for it.

That used to be something that society would spit in the face of the fat pigs for. But, now, it's considered sensible everyday practice that none would question. Of course Walmart lets the government shoulder a portion of the compensation of their workers through food stamps. Of course the fact technology enabled employees to produce 40% more value this year results in a raise of 1 or 2%, less than the cost of living increased. Of course they take and take and feel absolutely entitled to every penny of the billions in profit.

At the same time they claim to believe in the principles of a free market. At the same time the free market principles declare that all profit is a mistake, that all profit should quickly go to zero in any sensible market. Huh. Imagine that.

Re: Parents now spend twice as much time with their children as 50 years ago

#220

Post by ecshafer »

gricardo99 wrote: post #190
robertwiblin wrote: post #64

"One of Galinsky's more surprising findings centered around a question she posed to both children and parents: "If you were granted one wish to change the way your mother's/your father's work affects your life, what would that wish be?" Some 56 percent of parents anticipated that their children would want more time with their parents and for their parents to spend less time at work, yet only 10 percent of the childre…

I think the interpretation of this is off. Less tired and less stressed translates to "more time with their parents". Or perhaps more "quality" time. If a parent is too stressed or tired to give their full attention and engaging with a child, then this really does translate to wanting parents to work less.

I think this is ignoring the many people that grew up poor, where your parents weren't writing emails or stressed about work. But rather weren't constantly stressed about not paying the bills putting food on the table, or keeping the heat on.
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