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Crying

robinwe.is

211–220 of 260 posts

Re: Crying

#212

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I cry so little my wife had me tested for Aspergers...and she was right. I tear up about once a year at most. Most of the time when I do start to get overwhelmed my first reaction is "WTF IS THIS?" and beat it down like a $2 mule. It isn't that I'm completely without emotions, but I really do have less than "normal" people. Anyway, nice to hear about the experiences of others.

> I cry so little my wife had me tested for > Aspergers...and she was right. I tear up about once a > year at most It's important to not conflate crying with feeling strong emotion. I was clinically depressed for a year and cried a sum total of once during that time.

Speaking of Pixar cartoons, I thought the way that Inside Out presented depression as the absence of both joy and sadness was really telling. I don't know if it's always true, but it seems like often depression doesn't even allow you to feel cathartic sadness, only a miserable numbness.

Re: Crying

#213
Everyone is an emotional being; whether they show it to the world regularly or not. I'm normally a very stoic, "serious", sometimes up-tight and irritable person. I know I've turned off many people from the way I interact. But get me in-front of someone I can truly connect with, and I'm a whole different soul - I laugh, smile, my heart flutters, I'll cuddle up to a partner, the works. It all depends how comfortable the other person makes me feel.

I'm very into personality typing and identify as INTJ for Myers Brigg (Which is the smallest subset at ~1-2% of the population). I met a girl the other week that I found out was INTJ as well and we connected instantly on a whole new level - still blows my mind when I talk to her; and we were both able to share that very quickly. But we're both very stoic and have our guards up in public until we click well with someone and can relax.

Re: Crying

#214

Earlier quoted context omitted.

The type of emotional stoicism and detachment you're advocating for fit under the simple description of either a doormat or a sociopath. Seriously, there's nothing wrong with feeling emotion. Emotion and logic are NOT, as people in our field so love to proclaim, mutually exclusive. Your emotions frequently cue you in to valuable information in a situation. Emotional people are actually very predictable -- they are sh…

Stoicism != sociopathy. I never said not to feel emotion. Stoicism simply doesn't act on it without first checking other valid logical responses. Understand what you're dealing with here. Extremely emotional people are only predictable in that they are going to behave unpredictably and irrationally. What I find hilarious is that I explain what's gotten me superior results in life and everyone argues with it rather th…

I guess the people who do agree with you don't feel the need to argue. And those are probably the more stoic types. :-) But for what it's worth, I agree with you, bub. Being able to respond with some emotional distance does not mean emotions aren't experienced, nor does it imply that you suppress them. And people who are more reserved and/or feel less comfortable with other people's "emotional livelyhood" do tend to respond not more attracted to that, but just less turned away.

In my opinion guys in general are way too emotional in how they behave, saying stuff like 'super awesome', 'this times 1000' and so on. It makes me feel really uncomfortable. But that does not imply that i'm stone cold. I'm far from it. When I was recovering from a surgical procedure, boy was i emotional. For months. But that was privately. I just avoided public spaces, I'm much too reserved and in that sense you are right MbcroBerto: I felt really unpredictable, even to myself, let alone to others.

Re: Crying

#215
Holy wow, I am genuinely surprised. I would never have imagined that it's possible for grown-up people to cry more than one or two times per year, let alone cry enough times to gather stats about it!

Re: Crying

#216
post #41

I had no idea that people cry this much. It's like pulling back a curtain.

I know, right? People don't usually discuss these things publicly and you just sort of assume that everyone's relationship with crying is the same

Re: Crying

#217
post #172
post #3

For anyone else who was surprised, like me, that there was so much crying recorded in this article, you might find [a certain Reddit thread][1] interesting. I had been under the impression that basically no-one cried ever, but it turns out that some hormones just seem to make it happen. [1]: https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/4g1pgu/serious_t...

So the author of the article is a male -> female transsexual undergoing hormone treatment?

I don't know, but prior probabilities suggest not. Notice, however, that it is not just M2F transsexuals who have "female" hormones in their bodies. Almost everyone has them, and some people (such as females) tend to have more of them than others.

Re: Crying

#218
post #172

Earlier quoted context omitted.

So the author of the article is a male -> female transsexual undergoing hormone treatment?

I don't know, but prior probabilities suggest not. Notice, however, that it is not just M2F transsexuals who have "female" hormones in their bodies. Almost everyone has them, and some people (such as females) tend to have more of them than others.

I'm intrigued by the "almost". Are there people with 0% female (or male) hormones?

Re: Crying

#219
post #13

I am a big burly guy with a beard - and I get overwhelmed and cry regularly. Not even from sadness, just from general emotion. For example last night I watched the trailer for Overwatch[1] and got so excited I started tearing up. I don't know why, anything that triggers ANY sort of strong emotion in me brings it on. Always has. My wife makes fun of me for it. I don't see anything wrong with it. [1] https://www.youtub…

I never really cried much in my teens or 20s until last year when my partner passed away (I was 29). That seems to have really shaken up how I express emotion and I suspect it's a lasting change that I now cry significantly more, both in frequency and scope of what I react to.

I do miss the no-tears-ever part of me sometimes, but I suspect that the deeper emotional growth I've gone through over the past 9 months since she died will ultimately be for the best for me.

Re: Crying

#220
post #13

I am a big burly guy with a beard - and I get overwhelmed and cry regularly. Not even from sadness, just from general emotion. For example last night I watched the trailer for Overwatch[1] and got so excited I started tearing up. I don't know why, anything that triggers ANY sort of strong emotion in me brings it on. Always has. My wife makes fun of me for it. I don't see anything wrong with it. [1] https://www.youtub…

I cry so little my wife had me tested for Aspergers...and she was right. I tear up about once a year at most. Most of the time when I do start to get overwhelmed my first reaction is "WTF IS THIS?" and beat it down like a $2 mule. It isn't that I'm completely without emotions, but I really do have less than "normal" people. Anyway, nice to hear about the experiences of others.

Speaking as someone with Asperger; I think Asperger is not about having less emotions than neurotypical persons but more about the trouble expressing those emotions to others or even oneself.
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