Hacker News Board Hacker News, browsed like a classic message board
Live data from Hacker News

Being ambitious and being a dad

nicholascharriere.com

Post reply on HN
Print view View original

201–210 of 802 posts

Re: Being ambitious and being a dad

#201

Post by _kb »

daggerdrone wrote: post #64
katzgrau wrote: post #59

YC reject so I bootstrapped and was thankfully able to hit profitability before my first kid showed up. I’ve now got two. I also have dreams bigger than ever. In fact, writing this while sitting on the couch with the kids watching Muppet Treasure Island while my kids are wearing pirate hats and waving foam swords. I’m still extremely productive and prolific. Probably less compared with before. But before, I had frien…

Isn’t it unhealthy to skip both breakfast and lunch? How are you getting the energy to do stuff without eating?

The secret is to have your children eat for you, then just do blood transfusions when they’re at peak nutrient level. You can do that while you work for optimal efficiency.

Re: Being ambitious and being a dad

#202

Post by BigGreenJorts »

mandevil wrote: post #58
handedness wrote: post #17

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I would also add that, at least in my experience, those who are professionally ambitious and maximizing professional success, while being highly confident they are also succeeding at home, often have an inaccurate view of their home life. It's not until the kids are grown and openly fighting their demons that they realize the bargain that they made. It's that old adage of, anyone who thinks they're a great parent, pr…

This is a conversation that ambitious women have been having for decades. To the point where it's a cliche. Having it about men and women is valuable, having it be about them separately I think masks some of the structural problems- e.g. better childcare, more and better laid out parental leave(1), etc. Two things I've heard from different ambitious women: "To really achieve, you need a wife" is something I've heard…

> and the policies need to be designed such that the woman has to be back at work for at least some of the paternity leave, it can't all be used concurrently.

Not sure how to apply a legal framework, but in my area this is often enforced by the lack of daycare options for Very rare to see parents around me take their parental leave at the same time bc they'd be risking still being on a waitlist when they're done.

Re: Being ambitious and being a dad

#203

Post by BigGreenJorts »

wahnfrieden wrote: post #199
scns wrote: post #130

Earlier quoted context omitted.

giving that having biological children is the worst ecological offense someone can do in an ever increasing worldwide population? Have you ever heard of fracking? Or mining Gold using mercury?

Or RTO mandates

Pretty unbelievable how much the near urban wild life managed to actually recover during covid lockdowns.

Re: Being ambitious and being a dad

#204

Post by wahnfrieden »

jmyeet wrote: post #117

In 100 years nobody will know who you were. In 200 years, only a few hundred people will be remembered from today. So what is the goal of your ambition? Is it the self-satisfaction? Temporary bragging rights that will be soon forgotten? Whatever wealth you accumulate, you can't take it with you. The pharoahs already trie this. It doesn't work. Nobody's going to give a shit that you founded an AI company and sold it t…

Materialist ambition is not the exclusive worthwhile option besides raising children, for how to spend a life

Re: Being ambitious and being a dad

#205

Post by arunaugustine »

Then again don't forget being ambitious enough to be an ambitious founder, ambitious dad and an ambitious husband/wife/partner. And then being healthy enough to have energy to do all three. I keep thinking if I divide 24 hrs by 4, that would be the optimal time allocation to all 4 endeavors, but that's naive.

Re: Being ambitious and being a dad

#206

Post by coderenegade »

anon291 wrote: post #36
tschellenbach wrote: post #7

"Startup, parenting, hobbies, friends. I think you can do 2 of these well. But you'll have to quite light on the others." Someone on X, don't recall who, but it resonated.

It shouldn't be hard though. For me personally, I'm mostly friends with other dads with kids and I do my hobbies (music, rock climbing, skiing) with my kids. It's not that difficult.

This. Involve your kids in your hobbies. If they aren't interested, that's okay too -- you can be involved in theirs. Some hobbies have a finite life anyway. You aren't going to be a gymnast forever, for example, and that's okay.

Re: Being ambitious and being a dad

#207

Post by mintflow »

Thanks for sharing

Being dad is really hard joyful, you watch they grow from a tiny one to some big one which argue with you also sometimes care you when you sad

I quit from a high pay job because I want to enjoy more time with kids because I feel not get enough in my childhood

I like to read philosophy and settled with existentialism, this helps with the stress of low earning compared the previous time

Life may all about trade off, we may not lucky to get everything we want

Re: Being ambitious and being a dad

#209

Post by dmje »

Be a parent, ffs. And be it, 100%. Be it 500%.

Having kids is easily and by a huge distance the very best thing you can “build”. It’s the best project you’ll ever make.

If you can find a way to run a cool thing on the side then great. I’ve been lucky, or something, and I have. And I love it.

But my kids are a trillion times more important. And now they’re 21 and 19 I can live knowing that I’ve launched the best couple of projects in the world.

The IPO in my parental project arrived and stocks are doing well :-)

Re: Being ambitious and being a dad

#210

Post by phillipcarter »

qooiii2 wrote: post #98

"Behind every great man there's a great woman." I thought I was killing it at work and as a dad when I was answering emails about complex bugs while hiking with my first kid riding in a backpack. But then I quit working to be a full-time dad for kid #2 and found out how much work my partner had been doing that I didn't know about. I suddenly understood why so many of the men at my former workplace had been divorced.…

This quote certainly comes to mind:

Housework is not situated outside of economic production. It is simply non-salaried and paid through the husband’s salary.

Post reply on HN