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Prioritize mental health, and why communication is so important

ramones.dev

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Re: Prioritize mental health, and why communication is so important

#201

Post by Aurornis »

shermantanktop wrote: post #125
al_borland wrote: post #116

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> No, it’s a diagnosis of the root cause - in fact, it is plausibly the root cause of everything else described in the post. Yep. I was diagnosed with ASD and ADHD about a 1.5 years ago... My whole life came into focus. Everything that didn't make sense suddenly started to make sense. What I thought were 15 different issues I was dealing with were really all just symptoms of the one (or two in my case). The internal…

Finding a label for personal problems typically results in a honeymoon of self-acceptance and relief. The honeymoon usually ends and the problems remain, but now there are possible paths forward.

There are some traps along this path, too. A number of younger people I've worked with (in the double digits now) have gotten ADHD and/or ASD diagnoses and then become overjoyed that "everything makes sense now". But the diagnoses are only useful as tools for knowing what to work on.

The trap is trying to externalize the diagnoses as a get out of jail free card that can be used to justify avoiding hard changes and difficult work. The more difficult version of this is when someone tries to externalize the responsibilities of their diagnosis on others. I've seen a couple situations where someone got an ADHD diagnosis and then took it straight to their employers expecting to receive more forgiveness for late work and mistakes, then getting angry when it didn't change their company's expectations. It's a hard conversation to have with someone who thinks the diagnosis is going to relieve the weight of all the problems they've been facing, when in fact it's only helpful for identifying what they need to work even harder on improving and coping with.

Re: Prioritize mental health, and why communication is so important

#202

Post by iwontberude »

smugglerFlynn wrote: post #99

> My goals for the end of 2027 are as follows: > Stop making stupid mistakes. I want to be able to finish a task fully without missing or skipping a step. One way to do this is to make a plan for everything you do, and only do that thing. Nothing else. If you are neurodivergent or have other things influencing you mentally, you are _NOT_ going to snap out of it. You are not going to just build a better planning syste…

Quick correction that HN are people too my friends

Re: Prioritize mental health, and why communication is so important

#203

Post by wafflemaker »

fwlr wrote: post #98
graysnow86 wrote: post #63

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> The treatment for ADD is one of two medications, methylphenidate or dexamphetamine. You can try other things in addition to these, but not instead of these, and you should try both - there really is just no substitute. No, not quite - there's a variety of different ADHD medications and I'd argue there's more popular ones like Vyvanse (lisdexamfetamine). Non-stimulants like Strattera or Intuniv absolutely can and ar…

Vyvanse is dexamphetamine. I suppose you can say “amphetamines” instead, I imagine the subtleties of the terminology differ quite a bit in different places. Strattera can help (I mentioned bupropion, another SDNRI). Of course if you try stimulants and don’t respond well, it’s totally fine to just use e.g. Strattera. What I’m advocating against is e.g. “try Strattera first, if it seems to help, don’t bother with stimu…

To be specific, Vyvanse/Elvanse is lisdextroamphetamine.

But IMO it's not really that incorrect to say there are two main types of stimulants.

You rarely (at least never where I'm from) get instant release methylphenidate. Always some delay mechanism. Shorter - Ritalin, longer - Concerta.

And the lizine particle attached to dextroamphetamine acts as a such delayer, but isn't active by itself -- being only an amino acid. So it's still kind of amphetamine just as Concerta is methylphenidate.

Re: Prioritize mental health, and why communication is so important

#204

Post by hahahaa »

Thanks for sharing. You are doing incredibly well for thesw circumstances - you found a therapist, are attending, on a treatment plan and have good relationships in your life.

I think 2026 is a really hard time to be a new software engineer. There is too much tech to learn. AI in the mix. Many are finding it really hard.

Good luck with it all. I have no advice just keep putting mental health first, as you rightly said in the title.

Re: Prioritize mental health, and why communication is so important

#205

Post by weakfish »

smugglerFlynn wrote: post #99

> My goals for the end of 2027 are as follows: > Stop making stupid mistakes. I want to be able to finish a task fully without missing or skipping a step. One way to do this is to make a plan for everything you do, and only do that thing. Nothing else. If you are neurodivergent or have other things influencing you mentally, you are _NOT_ going to snap out of it. You are not going to just build a better planning syste…

I would highly recommend the book "Four Thousand Weeks" by Oliver Burkeman. The main theme of it is that many of our anxieties stem from inability to accept our inherent limitations as humans, and that trying to come up with the perfect productivity system / planning / etc. are all coping mechanisms for that angst that only fuel it over time.

As someone who has struggled greatly with these issues, it was an enlightening read.

To loosely quote the book, shifting your perspective doesn't erase the anxiety, but makes it not quite so unbearable.

Re: Prioritize mental health, and why communication is so important

#206

Post by kmoser »

tsoukase wrote: post #199

Depression is for many people the animal in the room, for some a fox and for others an elephant. You cannot avoid, ignore or hack a chemical imbalance in your brain with societal or personal measures. If you find yourself hopeless and helpless, irrespective if you have attended any form of psychotherapy, take an antidepressant. Don't hesitate and if you are in trouble, contact me, seriously. The author takes Fluoxeti…

Can you provide some insight into a) how you know somebody else should take a given drug, without having examined that person yourself, and b) whether you're qualified to prescribe that drug?

Re: Prioritize mental health, and why communication is so important

#207

Post by hahahaa »

z3t4 wrote: post #181

I would suggest building something on your own, choose your own processes, work however you want, with something that gives you motivation, and see if you are able to ship and release the things you build, attract users and lifetime management of the products. Now if that works great the problem is not with you.

The attract users bit. In 2026? That is going to be hard. I'd say don't worry about it if that part doesn't happen.

Re: Prioritize mental health, and why communication is so important

#208

Post by jeremyjh »

ramon156 wrote: post #157
smugglerFlynn wrote: post #99

> My goals for the end of 2027 are as follows: > Stop making stupid mistakes. I want to be able to finish a task fully without missing or skipping a step. One way to do this is to make a plan for everything you do, and only do that thing. Nothing else. If you are neurodivergent or have other things influencing you mentally, you are _NOT_ going to snap out of it. You are not going to just build a better planning syste…

That is re-assuring. Neurodivergence would explain a lot. For the time being, I am still in a state where I cannot get tested (for anyone that has experience with depression, the symptoms go hand in hand with ADD). I was not planning on opening HN, but it has actually helped me :) I do have to admit I first asked a chat bot what the overall tone was before I opened it up myself. Thank you very much, I needed to hear…

Your description does sound like ADHD to me but even a diagnosis and treatment is only one part of what you’ll need. In addition to a therapist I think you really need a mentor to help you navigate the professional side of things. There are lots of shapes that can take but I would definitely prioritize it; if a lot of your stress and unhappiness is due to work there is a limit to what most types of traditional therapy can help with.

Re: Prioritize mental health, and why communication is so important

#209

Post by hirvi74 »

brightball wrote: post #136
hirvi74 wrote: post #117

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> Consider becoming more involved with a local church. Go to services, meet people, join a Bible study. That is contingent on actually believing in the religion, no? In my experiences, church attendees do not tend to take kindly to people attending with anterior motives. When I was in school, I attended a few churches to meet new people. They were rather apprehensive when they learned I did not believe in any of it a…

> That is contingent on actually believing in the religion, no? You're there to learn. It's called Bible study for a reason. When I came back to church after 10 years as an avowed agnostic/atheist I didn't believe. I did listen and pay attention a lot better than I did as a child. Listening with an open mind and an unhardened heart make a difference. There are different types of churches too. In my experience most "m…

> You're there to learn.

Other perhaps, but I am not. I would be there for the social aspects only.

Also, what is there to study? I am sincerely asking. The text in the book is, if I may use a tautology, the text in the book. Anything else other than the literal text is merely interpretation, which becomes a debate in and of itself.

I have also learned there are some questions one must never ask. Any truly deep questions that challenge certain fundamental and integral beliefs are often met with hostility. So, perhaps you are correct -- one must study the bible, but in my experiences, one must dare not question it. I'm not asking smart-ass questions like, "What's the deal with 2 Kings 2:23-24 lol?" either.

> Then get up and leave without talking to anybody if you don't want to.

But those people probably truly believe, unlike me. Thus, I might as well stay home at that point.

> Messages tend to be tailored to the idea that any given week you're going to have people who have never set foot in a church before in life.

We must have wildly different experiences, which is odd because I lived in the Southeast during much of that time too.

> Faking it is a little different though. No reason to fake it.

Perhaps faking is a little different. I will concede that point. However, there is absolutely a reason to fake it. I have read enough history and current news to understand that in-group people have been, and can be, heinous towards out-group people. Mankind feels most righteous when carrying out atrocities in the name of good. Now, I am not saying there is a high likelihood of such an event, but it only takes one time, and that is not a risk I am willing to take.

Re: Prioritize mental health, and why communication is so important

#210

Post by DrewADesign »

ramon156 wrote: post #157
smugglerFlynn wrote: post #99

> My goals for the end of 2027 are as follows: > Stop making stupid mistakes. I want to be able to finish a task fully without missing or skipping a step. One way to do this is to make a plan for everything you do, and only do that thing. Nothing else. If you are neurodivergent or have other things influencing you mentally, you are _NOT_ going to snap out of it. You are not going to just build a better planning syste…

That is re-assuring. Neurodivergence would explain a lot. For the time being, I am still in a state where I cannot get tested (for anyone that has experience with depression, the symptoms go hand in hand with ADD). I was not planning on opening HN, but it has actually helped me :) I do have to admit I first asked a chat bot what the overall tone was before I opened it up myself. Thank you very much, I needed to hear…

As an aside, as of the DSM-V, ADD is no longer used. It’s been combined with ADHD, which has split into 3 subtypes, which are inattentive (basically what used to be ADD,) impulsive (basically what used to be ADHD,) and Combined, which has some combination of traits from both.

I’ve heard, but not confirmed, that depression is a comorbidity among 80% of people with ADHD.

They neuropsychological testing with reaction times and very granular memory tests was quite interesting. If you get the chance to have someone deem it medically necessary, I recommend doing so.

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