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Procrastination and the fear of not being good enough

swapnilchauhan.com

201–210 of 284 posts

Re: Procrastination and the fear of not being good enough

#201

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Sorry. I can't write it down because I think what I did was reckless and stupid and I don't want to give any ideas in a high visible thread like this. For a lot of people this is triggered by something unexpected happening in life which breaks the narrative one has been building their entire life. You can search for Spiritual Awakening and find a lot of examples. Buddha at the Gas Pump is a great podcast to listen to…

Sorry. I can't write it down because I think what I did was reckless and stupid and I don't want to give any ideas in a high visible thread like this. It's infuriating that you write all that about how enlightened you supposedly are, then conceal the manner by which you got there. This just feels like trolling or a creative writing exercise.

If it helps I have to say I am not enlightened. Nowhere close to what Ramana Maharishi has written or what UG Krishnamurthy talks about.

Re: Procrastination and the fear of not being good enough

#202
post #187

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Sorry. I can't write it down because I think what I did was reckless and stupid and I don't want to give any ideas in a high visible thread like this. It's infuriating that you write all that about how enlightened you supposedly are, then conceal the manner by which you got there. This just feels like trolling or a creative writing exercise.

I'll bite, and I'll be honest. I had similar results with: 600 micrograms of LSD completely alone in very a very secluded forest completely alone with a bug net, sleeping bag and basic food. About 24 hours. Motorcycling home in the morning, I wondered if I was the last human on earth... until I saw someone 30 minutes into the ride.

There's nothing to bite. GP can provide insight into how his supposed wisdom can be obtained or not. We've all heard about psychedelics at this point. Surely, if that's all it is, then GP would simply say so.

Re: Procrastination and the fear of not being good enough

#203

Earlier quoted context omitted.

It's pretty sad you can't respect this person's privacy. Instead of demanding answers it's possible to curiously examine where your experiences might be lacking, because then you might figure out where to look. Many can experience significant stress or trauma naturally leading to heightened physiological and psychological awareness, it's not a stretch to imagine that could give them a better understanding how the sel…

It's pretty sad you can't respect this person's privacy. There's nothing sad about it and, judging by GP's writing, the concern isn't privacy. I didn't ask for your opinions on how GP supposedly got this experience, I asked GP. His post comes off as outright fiction or condescending virtue signaling. So does yours, and nobody even asked for your input.

I don't want to say explicitly what I did because I think it's the wrong way to approach spirituality and I would not recommend it to anyone else. I barely survived and took a lot of time to reintegrate to daily life. I suffered and my parents suffered for some time because of it. I was depressed for months.

I was naive to do something like that without enough research.

Also as Jung said unearned wisdom can be dangerous.

The comment above yours got it pretty close though.

Also I think if I disclose more I think it's possible someone else who knew me can associate this account with me.

Re: Procrastination and the fear of not being good enough

#204

Earlier quoted context omitted.

It's actually the opposite. I found ego was what was stoping me from doing right things. When I had the opportunity to do a right thing previously I used to think someone else will do it or it's not my job or what If I fail. Now I just do it.

How do you define "right"? From an exterior point of view, your behavior seems potentially dangerous, like a disinhibited illuminated drunk that any people or situation can easily point any way as they see fit. How do you make sure you don't become an "awful" person for those around you ?

I think more from Intuition than more from how I approached this situation in past. It helps in becoming better at sports. But I also got into trouble a few times for opposing some authority figures who didn't like the way I acted.

Re: Procrastination and the fear of not being good enough

#205

I suffered from this. The issue is the ego. Ego has a lot of ideas about itself and others. Ego has such high opinion about itself it only can do great work. Which prevents it from doing anything. It's kind of a way of avoiding failures. Because failures will break the grant ideas about himself OP has created. I accidentally went through a spiritual awakening which diluted ego. I have no problem in doing any kind of…

This mirros my experience during my studies. The first few years were excruciating.

Yes. I am just at my first year. It has been really bad in beginning. Now I am getting used to it slowly.

Re: Procrastination and the fear of not being good enough

#206

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I think it would be really hard to understand without experiencing it. But I will write down anyway. So before dilution I had this strong idea of who I was. I had this back story. There were certain things I do. And certain things I don't do. I used to judge everyone. I had a very high opinion about myself and used to constantly do or find things to validate that. Now I don't have a story in which I live on. Each and…

Mortality of the self is not a big deal, at least if the illusion of ego was already overcome. On the matter there is for example Epicurus classic thought that self death is not a concern as while alive self won’t experiment it’s own death, and once dead there is no longer any self to observe death. That one requires accepting there is no "afterlife" for the self. Thus, only death of others is a relevant topic of con…

People who have thought about more than Boltzmann brain explanations of the origin of the universe will always be disappointed by people who claim that there is no such thing as an afterlife.

After all, it means that the universe emerges upon birth and disappears upon death, aka the classic Boltzmann brain.

Meanwhile for anyone who believes in the continued existence of the universe after death is going to need an afterlife. Sure, it might not be the classic Christian afterlife that so many people have in mind. It could be even as simple as having the experience of a corpse, but an afterlife nevertheless.

Re: Procrastination and the fear of not being good enough

#207
post #18

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> Anyone have any tips that worked for getting over this hurdle? Since nobody suggested this: Write for yourself, locally. This removed my writer's block. After writing for myself for about a year, I blogged consistently for two years. I've since lost the kadence and want to get back to it, but now priorities have come in the way. Now I usually write for my local tech community. I know there's a dozen people who like…

I write for myself a lot, roughly ~5000 words a day in notes, messages to self, etc. I have no problem writing and talking to myself. It's the editing process and formalizing it for public consumption. Either, the actual work of doing the cleanup feels too labor intensive, or I've already moved onto the next obsession, and am chasing that new idea. Do you have a process for turning the local writing into more public…

Unless you are writing a book nobody cares. Even if you have a beautifully written blog post, people will forget about it the day after, or next week or next month. They won't remember any details. Just don't make any jarring mistakes like grammar or abrupt jumps.

Even if you intend to write a book, you should just treat your blog as a bunch of notes.

Re: Procrastination and the fear of not being good enough

#208

Worrying what others think resonates with me a lot. Every few weeks I try to motivate myself to write more online (HN, X, blogs) and consistently get “self sabotage” stuck. (Been going on for >2 years) The article just says they pushed through and “put it aside”, but that has never seemed to quite work for me. I can push through once or twice, not enough to build a daily habit/obsession like I want. Anyone have any t…

I always remind myself that even the celebrated works supposedly have glaring holes in them. If they can get popular and be cherished, then my work too doesn't have to be "water-tight" at all times.

Just think about the human batteries in the matrix movie. Anyone who heard that thought the machines were using human brains as biocomputers, but no, they actually insist on the battery explanation.

Re: Procrastination and the fear of not being good enough

#209
post #94

Earlier quoted context omitted.

>a large GitHub repo I feel like in SW, impact and quality should be a lot more valuable than quantity of repos/apps you write. A few lines of code that fix a Gnome/KDE/$BIG_FOSS_PROJECT bug would be a lot more valuable in my book, than say another one in the millionth pile of JS note taking apps, or a repo full of "Baby's first Rust app"

I spent 1-3 hours every other Friday for six months writing a three line monkey patch to fix a (lack of) clipping bug in a drag and drop library that wasn't taking PRs because they were going to rewrite everything (and were 18 months into a 1 year rewrite and only half done). I'm not going to name names but it rhymes with jQuery UI. The best I could do was attach a code snipped to a bug report. I've gone back and for…

Based

Re: Procrastination and the fear of not being good enough

#210
post #166
post #163

Earlier quoted context omitted.

It's hard to get more ironic than farming upvotes on the internet talking about how you transcended ego or whatever.

One of the biggest and hardest lessons in Buddhist (monk) practice is that self deception is as fundamental, and as hard to avoid, as breathing.

I get the idea but I would also be skeptical of Buddhists acting like they have it all figured out.
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