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Quitting the rat race

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Re: Quitting the rat race

#201

Post by bumby »

danielmarkbruce wrote: post #126
BaseballPhysics wrote: post #67

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Bluntly, every person I know who's expressed these kinds of sentiments is guilty of the same mistake: externalizing their happiness. They inevitably move, only to find the new place they're in sucks, just in different ways. Or they find another job, but just discover more things they hate there. Or they find a new partner, only to discover a new set of annoyances. The same psychology leads people to think they'll be…

At least in my experience this is nonsense. The circumstances of my work make a large difference to my happiness. I know because I've been in a number of different circumstances and my happiness has varied greatly.

I’ve always liked the phrase “money can’t buy happiness but it can make you less miserable.” I think the main idea is that there are certain circumstances that can bias you into an unhappy state, but merely removing what makes you miserable isn’t enough to make you happy.

Re: Quitting the rat race

#202

Post by bumby »

lapcat wrote: post #198
bumby wrote: post #191

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> What does age have to do with it? I don’t want to speak for the OP, but I think they’re using age as a proxy for “I’ve seen this same pattern enough times to…”

Enough times to... make a vast overgeneralization about human nature based on personally experienced anecdotal data. Also, there's no evidence that the OP is older than, say, me, which is why citing age is largely irrelevant.

If it wasn’t clear enough from my post, I’m implying you are reading too much into the literal meaning of the age part of the comment. As the HN guidelines say, we should be trying to take the most generous interpretation possible.

Re: Quitting the rat race

#203

Post by lapcat »

bumby wrote: post #192
anonreeeeplor wrote: post #180

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Yes. I quit and then asked: “what if I stayed and do I regret leaving” on my last 4 companies. Universally the answer is no I don’t regret it. One imploded and laid off like 60% of people after turning into a nasty political hell hole. Another laid off massively and is now world renowned as a failed story. Another gave me zero opportunities and everyone was yelling at each other all the time. Believe me, I tried to e…

“No one is going to talk me into…” is shorthand for “I’m not open to any other ideas that don’t align with my preconceived notions.” It’s not terribly productive on a site whose guidelines try to foster an open and curious conversation.

It's supposed to be about intellectual curiosity. Not questioning other people's life choices and giving unsolicited advice.

Re: Quitting the rat race

#204

Post by gauravphoenix »

greggman3 wrote: post #63
gauravphoenix wrote: post #25

Earlier quoted context omitted.

>Hey, if being in nature makes you happy good for you but your outlook on the rest is kind of crap. It reads like you are stating a fact, but really, it is a matter of opinion. Perhaps, you can just say what you like without invalidating what others prefer.

They have opinions. One is nature rules. The other is the city sucks. I think their opinion of that the city sucks is wrong, full stop, and that a change in attitude would see all the great things a city provides that nature does not so that then you can appreciate both. To me, enjoying the good parts of both the city and nature is a better POV than shitting one one of them.

Opinions are never right or wrong. That's by definition.

Facts on the other hand can be right or wrong as they can be independently verified.

There is no way to prove "great" things cities can provide. Different people value different things.

Re: Quitting the rat race

#205

Post by csomar »

notch656c wrote: post #20
dinobones wrote: post #12

I am in my mid 20s. I have about $200k saved and I think about quitting everyday, even though it would probably be disastrous for my career. I look up and I see colleagues in their 40s-50s. 20-30 years of experience in the industry, with the performance of their RSUs they probably easily have $2m+ net worth. I really don't understand why they don't quit. Just a naive example: Buy a cheap house ($250k) and live off of…

If you have kids and quit while your family is used to the standard of living there is a good chance a divorce is in the cards. You will then owe 20% (pretax, 30% post tax) of your "imputed" salary for the kid, as well as possible alimony. If you don't come up with 20% of your generous salary you git tossed in a cage, even if the kid only needs a tiny fraction of that for a decent life. For many it's impossible to st…

I’m sorry but in this case you have a much bigger problem than “being a cog in the machine” and an “unfulfilling job”. You should never get in such a relation, or stay in one.

Re: Quitting the rat race

#206

Post by scruple »

gymbeaux wrote: post #164
sudoit wrote: post #112

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Same in my case. I quit my first software job because it made me feel so meaningless and depressed. I was immediately happier. I quit my second job because they overworked me. Same result. I have less money now, but I don’t care. I’m much happier being where I am now. People underestimate just how much work life affects your entire life.

You spend most of your life at work (at least in the US). 24 hours in a day. 8 of them spent working. 1 hour for lunch. ~2 hours getting ready for work/sleep each day. 8 hours for sleep... that leaves you with ~5 hours per day, but you also have to do chores around the house, maybe pickup/dropoff kiddos, commute (if you don't work from home), and cook dinner and clean up afterwards. If you have 2 hours a day to yours…

Even if you do manage to find 2 hours to yourself, it's typically at the end of the day and you're utterly, completely exhausted. I've found that, with young kids in the mix, the best thing I can do with my hour-ish at the end of a long day is read, or draw, or just spend some quiet time with my spouse. Anything else requires mental energy that I simply don't have. Even the video games that I play at the end of the average day need to be fairly brainless or else I'm not enjoying my time.

Re: Quitting the rat race

#207

Post by lapcat »

bumby wrote: post #202
lapcat wrote: post #198

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Enough times to... make a vast overgeneralization about human nature based on personally experienced anecdotal data. Also, there's no evidence that the OP is older than, say, me, which is why citing age is largely irrelevant.

If it wasn’t clear enough from my post, I’m implying you are reading too much into the literal meaning of the age part of the comment. As the HN guidelines say, we should be trying to take the most generous interpretation possible.

> I’m implying you are reading too much into the literal meaning of the age part of the comment.

I'm not. In fact my previous comment would still be valid if the line "What does age have to do with it?" were omitted. The important point is that the anecdotal observations do not apply universally.

Re: Quitting the rat race

#209

Post by csomar »

bradly wrote: post #176
juve1996 wrote: post #107

This post really ruffled some feathers on here, talking about how he can't find happiness out there, you can't find happiness externally, it's all internal, he can only do this because he makes money, etc. It's amazing how many people simply want to tear others down, I think, deep down, many wish they could do the same as this man.

When I told my family and friends my plan to leave my great FAANG job to retire early very few of the responses were positive. It was really disheartening after working so hard for so many years towards that goal.

You are the status quo. By leaving, you are breaking their new (since FAANGs are a recent thing) social structure. They’d definitively not support you.

Re: Quitting the rat race

#210

Post by jedberg »

dinobones wrote: post #12

I am in my mid 20s. I have about $200k saved and I think about quitting everyday, even though it would probably be disastrous for my career. I look up and I see colleagues in their 40s-50s. 20-30 years of experience in the industry, with the performance of their RSUs they probably easily have $2m+ net worth. I really don't understand why they don't quit. Just a naive example: Buy a cheap house ($250k) and live off of…

> I look up and I see colleagues in their 40s-50s. 20-30 years of experience in the industry, with the performance of their RSUs they probably easily have $2m+ net worth. I really don't understand why they don't quit.

I was/am that person. I actually did quit and retire for a while. But then I went back. Mostly out of guilt. I felt guilty not working and building up my kid's trust fund during my peak earning years. It felt like I was betraying my family by not continuing to bring in income while I could.

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