201–210 of 213 posts
My god this is awful. He was brilliant, accomplished, and kind. A few days ago he announced his 'permanent rest' ( https://twitter.com/ChrisGSeaton/status/1599108759183577088 ). I'd thought it meant from the Ruby community and that the replies asking if he needed help were reading too much into the wording.
As a teenage, Chris (or Kit as some in his family knew him) made pocket-money from a programme he wrote in his bedroom in Chandlers Ford call password safe. RIP
Know that he's had a huge impact on the Ruby community and the world.
I knew him online for years, but met in person for the first time last week. He spoke fondly of his ongoing trip and spoke with passion about tech projects.
The lunch was at a taco truck. He ordered a meal made of fries covered with various taco toppings. I remember pickled red onions at the very top. He left before the group was finished saying he had to go pair with someone. I felt uplifted about the interaction. I even brought it up to my spouse and my visiting parents when I got back from the conf.
I can only guess how he was feeling at the time, he seemed busy but cheerful.
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https://www.healthyplace.com/blogs/livingablissfullife/2019/...
Not all suicide is preventable, but some are. It's a noble and empowering reaction for people in pain to try to save others from the same pain.
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There is literally nothing aggressive about depression.
Then why are people suffering depression packed full of stress response hormones? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NOAgplgTxfc
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Optimism is trying to convince yourself things are better than they are, hope is the idea that things can actually get better.
Thanks. By that definition, optimism is just a bad thing.
As I recall, around 80% of people have the optimism bias. The rest are prone to depression.
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I find the statistics surrounding death to be quite sobering. I was at an annual event with 1000 other people and for whatever reason got to wondering if everyone would return the next year. Being a nerd, some calculations occurred and it turned out that would be pretty much impossible as at least a few attendees would die (of any cause) before then. It's rather stoic but makes me appreciate things a little more. The…
The Ruby community also seems to attract a lot of fantastic people. I'm not a part of it and never have been but from the outside looking in it looks like one of the most welcoming eco-systems out there.
One thing Rubyists were particularly good at, though, was rapidly adopting new methods of sharing ideas, such as screencasting, git, blogging, Twitter, etc. so a lot of Ruby and Rails ideas spread more quickly than they might have from other communities. Currently the Rust and ML communities seem to have this sort of edge.
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I had lunch with him on Wednesday and wish I said more. I also worry about the hidden pressures of praise. A overly critical inner life can interpret it as “I like you as long as you are useful” which is of course not the truth. I have appreciation for the creators in my life, even when they no longer create.
>I like you as long as you are useful” which is of course not the truth. I think that's the problem with depression disease: no matter what most people tell you, your brain will find a way to use it to dig the hole deeper. My wife has battled with minor depression and anxiety her whole life. I learned that more than trying to say things to cheer her up in the moment, i was more useful by looking for treatment. It's a…
no matter what most people tell you, your
brain will find a way to use it to dig the
hole deeper.
"They're just being nice."
"This good person's kind words and actions are wasted on a piece of crap like me. If I wasn't around, they could 'spend' that kindness on somebody who actually deserves it. I'm hurting the world just by being here."
"They're lying, and now I feel worse because they're lying"
"I hurt so bad inside, and it hurts so bad to wear this mask and graciously accept the praise"
"I hurt so bad inside that I wasn't able to accept the praise graciously, and now I actually feel even worse because I've been so rude to this nice person who praised me"
Yeah. It's a struggle.
Even when you logically know those things are false and it's "just the depression talking" it's very hard to break out of those thought patterns.
(Which is why practicing positivity and gratitude -- keeping a gratitude journal, etc -- is actually an effective part of treatment for me. I'm not sure if it's because of specific neuronal pathways being reinforced by specific repeated thought patterns or what but, from a practical perspective, I try to treat positivity like a muscle that I need to exercise)
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> A overly critical inner life can interpret it as “I like you as long as you are useful” That's me after most praise: "you say you like me because the stuff I can do will help you, or because you have some unstated aim to take advantage of me, or because you don't know that it could have been so much better". I don't know when, but at some point any expectation of honesty in praise just went out of the window. Becau…
I find some of the best advice for adults is found in advice for handling small children (I've got two kids). The new research/trend is to try to praise behavior rather than outcomes (or in addition). The other bit is to focus on their actions instead of it's impact on you. For example "I'm proud that you won that baseball game" places the focus on me and on the outcome of winning. Versus "I saw you really focused ou…
Versus "I saw you really focused out there
in the outfield, I know getting distracted
between bats is easy and you've come a
long way."
example: "I see you working on those reports! There are a million of them coming in every day, and you're cranking them all out yourself."
You don't even necessarily need to praise them, per se. (Although honest praise is of course very cool) Just the act of letting them know, and noticing is super powerful.
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The Ruby community also seems to attract a lot of fantastic people. I'm not a part of it and never have been but from the outside looking in it looks like one of the most welcoming eco-systems out there.
You're not wrong, but I also think there are fantastic people in most communities oriented around creative, technical projects. I've just been getting into Python as wow, there are certainly some hyper productive interesting individuals there! HN too, of course ;-) One thing Rubyists were particularly good at, though, was rapidly adopting new methods of sharing ideas, such as screencasting, git, blogging, Twitter, et…