This debate has gone round and round for decades. There are no hard lines; this is about performance tradeoffs, and always will be. Perhaps the biggest misconception about reference counting is that people believe it avoids GC pauses. That's not true. Essentially, whereas tracing GC has pauses while tracing live data, reference counting has pauses while tracing garbage. Reference counting is really just another kind…
You have to do this if you want deterministic deallocation, because your holding a read-only reference to that object might be exactly what keeps it around for longer. So you need to track that.
(Deterministic deallocation also means having to recursively free unreachable objects. That's often described as an arbitrary "pause" behavior in RC systems, but it's actually inherent in the requirement for deterministic behavior. If you don't care about determinism for some class of objects, you can amortize that pause by sending them to a separate cleanup thread.)