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Is my advice too mercenary?

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Re: Is my advice too mercenary?

#201

Post by fleddr »

The apology is unneeded.

Not telling the entire truth during the very last phase of employment, the exit interview, is but a drip in a bucket of lies that is called employment.

You lied to get in. By emphasizing your strengths and hiding your weaknesses. The employer did the same thing.

You lie constantly about the work or its conditions being fine, as complaining about it is kind of a taboo. You lie to your peers and superiors all the time when they do or say things you disagree with, especially when the cost of conflict is too high.

You lie about the company drink being so much fun, whilst you really don't want to go. You lie about how much effort that task really costs, as you want to build in some security. You lie about how much time you're not really working.

You lie about being a well behaved human being whilst the minute you arrive home, you burp, fart and swear all over the place.

...yet you won't at your mother-in-law.

Conclusion: any human relation that is involuntary (you do not directly pick your manager, colleagues or mother-in-law) is diplomatic, which is a fancy word for not genuine. You keep up appearances and tell people what they want to hear, because the downside of the truth is too large.

So silence or lying is fine. Unless some massive humanitarian thing is at stake based on your input, which I figure to be rare. Alternatively, one can learn how to criticize in a non-damaging way.

Re: Is my advice too mercenary?

#202

Post by beaconstudios »

jseban wrote: post #198
fellowniusmonk wrote: post #5

It truly is shocking that health insurance is tied to employment status. I really think this is a large part of the trend towards overt ruthlessness in the USA, no one has their back so they have no ones back, as people age and experience medical bankruptcy (or narrowly avoid it at great cost) they are realizing this ruthlessness in our system.

In that case, why should your home be tied to employment status? Food? It's at least as important for your survival as health insurance.

it shouldn't be! From an ethical standpoint, housing should be guaranteed as a human right. Obviously if you're living in a mansion paid by an executive job and you get laid off you might have to downsize, but nobody should have to fear homelessness in the wealthiest countries on earth.

Re: Is my advice too mercenary?

#203

Post by legitster »

Semi-related, I hate the term "late-stage capitalism". It was invented by a Nazi over 120 years ago and in the meantime has constantly been applied to whatever the new thing is. And the implication is awful - "things suck and it's not my responsibility to make things better besides waiting for the revolution".

Please stop using this phrase unless you want to further alienate me from the position you are trying to make.

Re: Is my advice too mercenary?

#204

Post by krupan »

The exit interview advice is not anything new, I heard it from 10 other people before Jacob wrote this post.

The general salary advice is also not new at all. The specifics of which tools to use is pretty helpful.

Re: Is my advice too mercenary?

#205

Post by lmeyerov »

Zero-sum bridge burning makes sense sometimes. But a career is rarely fully zero-sum. You likely need a reference, may have stock options dependent upon improvement, want a job offer X years later from a colleague making the new hotness, etc. I've given references for mercenary folks, but always with that asterisk, which is a Career Limiting Move.

Re: Is my advice too mercenary?

#206

Post by dasil003 »

bin_bash wrote: post #52
tschellenbach wrote: post #17

At the end of his book AMP it up, Frank Slootman provides some career tips. The things he focuses on. 1. Join a company that's growing and moving up. He talks about getting in the elevator by joining the right company. And how everyone during certain years at Microsoft did well (just one example). 2. Next he recommends ignoring compensation in the early days of your career. I see this at my company sometimes. Mid lev…

If it's early in your career ( After that I think you have a point. I work at a FAANG as a SWE (15 YOE) and want to move into management, but it requires a SWE promotion first to staff engineer I don't think I'm capable of getting at this company. (I've been a staff engineer at a previous firm though). I could switch to a lower tier company and definitely find a way to move into management and develop my career on th…

You are absolutely right in terms of resume credential, but in terms of engineering experience I don't think it's so cut and dried. The ability to work on large systems, and access to mentorship is unparalleled, but you also miss out on end-to-end perspective and how to focus on solving the most critical problem in the simplest way. FAANG has some of the best talent in the world (if you're lucky enough to be able to work with them), but it is also has many smart but unmotivated clock punchers who would struggle to execute without the world-class tooling and resources that they take for granted.

Working for a smaller, fast-growing company will give you faster feedback loops, and a closer connection to the business that will give you a broader perspective on what is truly necessary vs FAANG best practices for scale. Ironically this makes you more fit for leadership because you can then see patterns which repeat themselves in all companies, but are obfuscated by specialization and huge org sizes. By contrast, if you join a big company you'll get better at the corporate jargon and cultural games, but you won't have the same visceral understanding of what really matters and why.

Re: Is my advice too mercenary?

#207

Post by denial »

deckard1 wrote: post #68
dvtrn wrote: post #25

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I'm constantly barraged with acceptance training, "human connection" training and calls where the expectation is to "share and connect" by telling the group something personal We had a "leadership training" thing a few weeks back where one of the segments involved a breakout session with a random coworker who you may or may not already know, with the expectation that you share something deep and revealing you've neve…

I always dread the "two truths and a lie" game, usually performed in front of a large group of people you don't know. It's the ultimate trap. Either come up with two things that sound impressive to strangers, or risk being seen as a bore. Plus you'll never beat Todd who went before you and is literally the Dos Equis Most Interesting Man in the World. Fuck you Todd.

I prefer to give two vacuous truths which contradict each other and a lie. That's at least more fun.

Re: Is my advice too mercenary?

#208

Post by [deleted] »

dragonwriter wrote: post #155
kube-system wrote: post #19

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Health insurance is "tied to employment" because of wage controls that were implemented in WWII. Employers still had trouble hiring people, and because they were prohibited from raising wages, they had to find other ways to attract people: benefits. Health insurance then became a popular benefit. Also, note that you can buy your own health insurance in the US. You are not required to use health insurance provided by…

> Health insurance is "tied to employment" because of wage controls that were implemented in WWII. If that was the only or even dominant reason, then the removal of those controls in 1945 would have seen that tie rapidly unravel, instead, health care has become more, not less, tied to employment since the end of that policy, reinforced by deliberate policy choices like tax policy and explicit mandates. The historical…

[deleted]

Re: Is my advice too mercenary?

#209

Post by sidewndr46 »

dangerlibrary wrote: post #90
sidewndr46 wrote: post #85

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Why would I care about the fraud rate of anything? I'm not a fraudster.

A common right-wing criticism of Medicare that I was trying to pre-empt is that it is rife with waste, fraud, and abuse. But to directly answer your question: if you want your dollars spent effectively, you should care about fraud rates in services you pay for (public or private).

Alright, well I guess I'll take your comment as an attempt at a real conversation. But fraud in the medical industry isn't really something that crosses my mind, nor is it part of my concern about the government dictating my healthcare.

Re: Is my advice too mercenary?

#210

Post by legitster »

beepbooptheory wrote: post #163

Small aside, reading all these conversations: I just think a lot of static gets injected into these discussions about wage/employers/comp on HN because a large majority of the commenters here are either currently business owners, or founders, or trying to be either of those. But there is also a huge contingent of people who do regular waged labor here, whether FAANG or freelance. Beyond any political differences, I t…

> a large majority of the commenters here are either currently business owners, or founders, or trying to be either of those

A good point. And I think the reason this article is so fraught is that the writer is basically arguing even that if you met all of their demands and tried to make the world a better place, they will fundamentally remain hostile to you.

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