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How to get the most out of your 1:1s

erik.wiffin.com

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Re: How to get the most out of your 1:1s

#201

Post by skeeter2020 »

songzme wrote: post #114

I really struggle with 1:1s primarily because: 1. Do you want career growth? No, and its hard to tell that to my manager. More growth leads to more responsibility, which is more stress. I'm happy where I am and I don't want promotions. I'm afraid to tell my manager that, because which manager wants an unambitious engineer? There was someone like that on our team and he was laid off in the last layoff round, so I have…

>> 2. Do you want more interesting work?

>> Also no, I'm perfectly happy maintaining our current codebase, not interested in new and shiny projects because my most interesting time is spent at home with my kiddo.

So as a manager my concern here is you're communicating I don't want to grow or add more value. I'm not sure if that's your intent. There are actually very few roles where I've needed someone to "just keep doing exactly what you're doing right now", and they are typically short-term bridges to more important projects or quickly devolve into lowest-cost commodity solutions.

You don't have to get promoted or work on bleeding-edge tech, but you definitely need to grow. If you're not growing, your stagnating, and your time is limited.

The follow-on comments from other managers about how you're a dream IC really scare me; they present a mindset that developers are a problem that needs to be solved as easily as possible. Give me a demanding, passionate and yes, needy, developer over someone who's stopped progressing every time.

>> Any tips on how I can handle my 1:1s?

Don't share that you're perfectly content with the current status-quo and that you don't want any further growth or responsibility.

Re: How to get the most out of your 1:1s

#202

Post by skeeter2020 »

mym1990 wrote: post #135
scarface74 wrote: post #133

Earlier quoted context omitted.

That is very valuable until that employee needs to find another job and find their skills aren’t marketable.

Its up to the employee to continue to build marketable skills, not the employer. If the employee is content in their position, then that's that.

This is not how good managers think. They're not building good employees, they're helping build incredible team members. This isn't some altruistics BS, it's because the attributes of a great employee are symptoms of the indvidual. If your manager only cares about your bottom-line impact towards your job, start looking for a better situation.

Re: How to get the most out of your 1:1s

#203

Post by skeeter2020 »

The OP seems largely inline with what I wrote about some of my thoughts on 1:1s here:

https://www.codeleadmanage.com/articles/20210118-how_to_effe...

My TL;DR is every manager needs to develop their own strategy. The best way to do this is to start, experiment and iterate, but hopefully there's some conventions and ideas that can help.

Re: How to get the most out of your 1:1s

#204

Post by scarface74 »

skeeter2020 wrote: post #202
mym1990 wrote: post #135

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Its up to the employee to continue to build marketable skills, not the employer. If the employee is content in their position, then that's that.

This is not how good managers think. They're not building good employees, they're helping build incredible team members. This isn't some altruistics BS, it's because the attributes of a great employee are symptoms of the indvidual. If your manager only cares about your bottom-line impact towards your job, start looking for a better situation.

Manager: “What happens if I train my employees and they leave?”

What happens if you don’t train your employees and they stay?

Why would anyone want a team who hasn’t updated their skillset since 2006? That’s the epitome of the “Dead Sea Effect”

Re: How to get the most out of your 1:1s

#205

Post by thenerdhead »

avel wrote: post #193
thenerdhead wrote: post #105

Here's some tips to better 1:1s on-top of what the article mentions: - If you're a direct manager in the 1:1, it is your job to take notes. Period. - 1:1s are business meetings about results, and sometimes personal matters are discussed. - If you have role power, you need to be cautious with what you say during a 1:1. People will take things literally. - Agendas should be simple. 10 minutes you, 10 minutes me, 10 min…

Agendas should be simple, or should I not come with an agenda at all? An agenda, either shared with the other person or not, is fine. I'd rather have a meeting with agenda / talking points rather than one without. It doesn't prevent people from being able to contribute, as long as you don't monopolize your part.

I meant that there should be no agenda set. Each person should come with their own topics. Sorry about that. It’s not fair when say a boss wants a status update when you want to talk about career growth for example.

Re: How to get the most out of your 1:1s

#206

Post by thenerdhead »

pc86 wrote: post #189
thenerdhead wrote: post #105

Here's some tips to better 1:1s on-top of what the article mentions: - If you're a direct manager in the 1:1, it is your job to take notes. Period. - 1:1s are business meetings about results, and sometimes personal matters are discussed. - If you have role power, you need to be cautious with what you say during a 1:1. People will take things literally. - Agendas should be simple. 10 minutes you, 10 minutes me, 10 min…

It's interesting to me how many people have diametrically opposed views of what a 1:1 should be. Business meetings / status updates vs. personal discussion. Structured agenda vs. no agenda. Weekly vs. biweekly vs. monthly. Etc.

Yeah, you can definitely go the Andy Grove approach or even try to become your direct's friend(don't really recommend). Personally I think 1:1s are being used wastefully and have become the industry norm so people put up with them.

Re: How to get the most out of your 1:1s

#207

Post by throwaway874653 »

terryf wrote: post #138
songzme wrote: post #114

I really struggle with 1:1s primarily because: 1. Do you want career growth? No, and its hard to tell that to my manager. More growth leads to more responsibility, which is more stress. I'm happy where I am and I don't want promotions. I'm afraid to tell my manager that, because which manager wants an unambitious engineer? There was someone like that on our team and he was laid off in the last layoff round, so I have…

As a manager - I would love it if someone tells me that! This makes my life so much easier! It means, that I will not have to worry about figuring out a good place for you to grow into. It also means that I will not have to worry about finding a replacement for you after you get promoted. Hell, if you tell me that I'll do everything I can to give you a raise asap. Tip: Your manager really, really wants to hear what y…

> Tip: Your manager really, really wants to hear what you really honestly think.

Ofcourse. I too want the same. But neither do. As an IC I want hard to be replace me and get top pay for my ability. Exact opposite is my managers incentive.

Re: How to get the most out of your 1:1s

#208

Post by hvidgaard »

skeeter2020 wrote: post #202
mym1990 wrote: post #135

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Its up to the employee to continue to build marketable skills, not the employer. If the employee is content in their position, then that's that.

This is not how good managers think. They're not building good employees, they're helping build incredible team members. This isn't some altruistics BS, it's because the attributes of a great employee are symptoms of the indvidual. If your manager only cares about your bottom-line impact towards your job, start looking for a better situation.

I will absolute do what I can to grow employees. But they have to want to do that. Not all employees want to climb the ladder. They do not want to become a manager, they do not want the responsibility that comes with lead or architect roles. That does not mean they cannot grow in their position. You can always improve your coding, automated testing, devops, not to say soft skills, learn a new framework etc.

Re: How to get the most out of your 1:1s

#209

Post by mgh2 »

karaterobot wrote: post #178
terryf wrote: post #138

Earlier quoted context omitted.

As a manager - I would love it if someone tells me that! This makes my life so much easier! It means, that I will not have to worry about figuring out a good place for you to grow into. It also means that I will not have to worry about finding a replacement for you after you get promoted. Hell, if you tell me that I'll do everything I can to give you a raise asap. Tip: Your manager really, really wants to hear what y…

> Tip: Your manager really, really wants to hear what you really honestly think. As the original commenter noted, the person who was honest about what they really thought was the one laid off when the time came. I won't say it's true for you, but at many organizations "I really want to hear what you honestly think..." has a second clause: "... so that I know who my most valuable 'resources' are." I'm unconvinced that…

Humans, in their majority, are natural liars and dislike the truth (even when they say the opposite)

Treat managers as you will most tech companies: the information you share will most likely be used against you.

Being honest is not in your best interest, nether is lying, not divulging information (privacy) is your best approach.

Unless necessary, be very careful what you share; your manager represents the company, and their interests are not often aligned with yours.

Re: How to get the most out of your 1:1s

#210

Post by benhurmarcel »

danparsonson wrote: post #68
qbasic_forever wrote: post #46

Why even bother with a monthly 1:1, that's almost insulting to the employee. If I had major concerns a month is far too long to wait to see action and have them resolved. You're telling your employee that of the ~160 work-hours in a month they are worth less than one of them.

If you have major concerns, why not just schedule a meeting? Why are you waiting for a monthly catch-up to air them? I think this whole one to one thing is pointless - if there's a problem, organise a meeting to discuss it (or talk about it during one of the regular team meetings if it's not a private matter); if not, let's just get on with doing some actual work.

That doesn't work.

In a department I worked in, there were no scheduled 1-to-1, just a weekly slot that was guaranteed to be available if requested. Nobody ever took it. The manager thought it meant that everything was fine, while in reality he had no idea about how people were doing or how they were feeling.

Nobody wants to come to the manager with problems when he's the one with the power and they don't have a trusty relationship with him. And you don't get trust if you don't communicate regularly.

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