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Tell HN: You are not alone this Christmas

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Re: Tell HN: You are not alone this Christmas

#201

Post by dqpb »

abzug wrote: post #20

Thank you for this gesture. I lost almost everything. Job, 7-year relationship, my mental health. Feeling that I'm not only alone but inadequate to have a life like anybody else. I'm still alive, so there's that.

You’re not alone, but you are unique. You’re existence is the only thing that can compute what comes next on this trajectory. There is a space of possibilities ahead of you that never have and never will be available to anyone else, ever. As such, you are infinitely and uniquely valuable.

Re: Tell HN: You are not alone this Christmas

#202

Post by jliptzin »

abzug wrote: post #20

Thank you for this gesture. I lost almost everything. Job, 7-year relationship, my mental health. Feeling that I'm not only alone but inadequate to have a life like anybody else. I'm still alive, so there's that.

Don’t feel like a failure over the relationship. Remember the default state of relationships is failure, well over 50% break up or the couple is miserable but still stay together anyway for various reasons. Try to learn from any mistakes you made when you get into the next one.

Re: Tell HN: You are not alone this Christmas

#203

Post by sfjailbird »

headmelted wrote: post #188
abzug wrote: post #20

Thank you for this gesture. I lost almost everything. Job, 7-year relationship, my mental health. Feeling that I'm not only alone but inadequate to have a life like anybody else. I'm still alive, so there's that.

I realise you didn’t post this looking for advice (and I apologise if this is unwelcome), but if I can relate one small thing from my own personal mental health nadir: Walk. Outdoors. In the greenest place you can find. No, it won’t change anything that you’ve been through, but it really will help you to quiet everything for a small chunk of time to let your mind get a rest from it. Please don’t ever think you’re ina…

To add to this great advice, if you feel lazy to start, get a good audio book and listen as you walk. It becomes a kind of reward for going for a walk, you get a chapter or two of a great book.

Re: Tell HN: You are not alone this Christmas

#206

Post by zw123456 »

Hey thanks for this, super nice gesture. Some of the stories posted really touched me.

I am alone too, but to be completely honest, I actually am kind of relieved. The holidays were always a stressful time for me, our family dynamic is not very good and now after 2 years, everyone is drifting apart, and it's kind of a relief.

I am going to be doing a little virtual celebration and chatting online with a couple of friends but other than that, no stressful travel, no stressful family gatherings, no listening to racist right-wing rants from ignorant relatives, no rushing around to get ready for the holidays.

Actually, I am kind of digging this.

Re: Tell HN: You are not alone this Christmas

#207

Post by abzug »

swat535 wrote: post #195
abzug wrote: post #20

Thank you for this gesture. I lost almost everything. Job, 7-year relationship, my mental health. Feeling that I'm not only alone but inadequate to have a life like anybody else. I'm still alive, so there's that.

I was exactly in your situation 2 years ago (at the start of COVID) and I know what you're going through. I'm not going to tell you to "stay strong" , emotions are a natural thing and should not be suppressed and it's ok to be vulnerable. However, there are a few things that helped me get through the dark times, I am writing them below in the hopes that you may find them useful: 1. Exercise, this is absolutely critic…

Thank you so much for this. I'm already doing some (2, 4, 5) others are planned for 2022 (1, 3, 6). But 7 is brutal. I was going to propose but things changed.

Anyway, again: thank you very much. This is very appreciated. Very kind of you.

Re: Tell HN: You are not alone this Christmas

#208

Post by abzug »

TedDoesntTalk wrote: post #200
swat535 wrote: post #195

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I was exactly in your situation 2 years ago (at the start of COVID) and I know what you're going through. I'm not going to tell you to "stay strong" , emotions are a natural thing and should not be suppressed and it's ok to be vulnerable. However, there are a few things that helped me get through the dark times, I am writing them below in the hopes that you may find them useful: 1. Exercise, this is absolutely critic…

I went from a completely sedentary desk life to running a half-marathon in 7 months (includes a 1 month groin injury). On a treadmill, training myself. You can do it, too, and the effect on mood is spectacular. In fact the effect on mood comes way before a half-marathon. So don’t get overwhelmed and think you have to do that much.

Thanks, I have plans to exercise coming 2022.

Re: Tell HN: You are not alone this Christmas

#209

Post by listless »

ecornflak wrote: post #56

My mum died in January and my Dad died a couple of weeks ago. We didn’t do much for Christmas as a family but I keep thinking of the interesting things to tell my Dad about that he’s not around to tell. He’d almost certainly be watching the James Webb Telescope launch

My dad died in April this year. I have the same exact feeling where I see something and my first thought is, “I gotta talk to dad about this” and before that thought Is even complete I remember that, I can’t.

I’m sorry for your loss. You’re not alone.

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