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The vital art of talking to strangers

economist.com

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Re: The vital art of talking to strangers

#201

Post by iammisc »

munificent wrote: post #184
iammisc wrote: post #106

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> But at least in the US it has also very much deepened the racial and (obviously) religious lines between people. Not clear at all. Catholics for example are the most likely group to marry interracially. Religiously, I don't see the christian sects as very divided, despite their many differences. There seems to be a large set of common ground. Even amongst religions, there is a lot of good will. I can't think of any…

> Not clear at all. Catholics for example are the most likely group to marry interracially. Catholicism is an outlier here: About half of people who attend church once a year or never said they had dated interracially; just 27 percent of respondents who attend weekly or more reported dating a person of another race, according to a study using data from the 2007 Baylor Religion Survey. http://blogs.thearda.com/trend/f…

Honestly thanks for the info on the riots. The KKK is so obvious that I'm embarrassed it didn't cross my mind.

I will be the first to admit I have zero understanding of protestantism other than that most seem nice. They're like Muslims to me except they believe in Jesus which seems nice.

Re: The vital art of talking to strangers

#202

Post by iammisc »

nate_meurer wrote: post #151
iammisc wrote: post #135

Earlier quoted context omitted.

SBC is not only not the first largest, it's a different order of magnitude. And my point was that it's a mixed bag. While a lot of support for slavery was nominally Christian, so was a lot of opposition. For example, the Battle Hymn of the Republic is just that -- a hymn -- and its words on slavery are absolutely brutal. You can say 'christianity was a force for slavery' but you can't say that while not also acknowle…

"Yeah but you weren't just wrong. You were wrong by a lot!" :) > my point was that it's a mixed bag. While a lot of support for slavery was nominally Christian, so was a lot of opposition. Ok, but that's not what you said. You objected, without qualification, to the notion that large mainstream christian denominations supported white supremacy. IIRC, you said such talk was "picking and choosing". Now, if the new loca…

I think we were objecting to different things. I broadly agree that large mainstream denominations supported slavery. I just pointed out that many equally large denominations did not. If we're talking about Christianity as a whole, it's a mixed bag. There's no reason the SBC should be singled out.

Re: The vital art of talking to strangers

#203

Post by ww520 »

munificent wrote: post #15

I have a hypothesis that almost all of the US's current cultural problems would be solved if once a month we all cooked and shared a meal with another randomly chosen family.

There should be an app like table-for-six to let strangers come together to have lunch, not for dating but just having a meal together.

Re: The vital art of talking to strangers

#204

Post by throwawayboise »

munificent wrote: post #196
iammisc wrote: post #179

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I doubt I'd participate in a secular community center, so I'd be interested in seeing this as an outside observer. But honestly, I doubt it'd work. Without any common values, it'll be hard to get a diverse set of people. In my experience, when secular people start this, it ends up being a club for other secular people 'like them'. In America the starkest examples of this are when these community clubs founded by whit…

> Without any common values, it'll be hard to get a diverse set of people. The fundamental premise of the United States is that a body of people can have shared values without shared religion. A supernatural deity is not required to believe that all people are created equal and deserve the right to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.

The fundamental premise was not an absence of religion. Most of the founders and certainly all of the original colonists were religious. The premise was no state-endorsed or mandated religion.

Re: The vital art of talking to strangers

#205

Post by majormajor »

iammisc wrote: post #179
nicoburns wrote: post #139

Earlier quoted context omitted.

It's religion not politics that makes church-attendance undesirable for most non-church-goers. Having said that, I agree that we are missing something that modern secular society is missing something that used to take place in churches. I'm not so convinced as you that the religious aspect is required to make it work. Shared purpose maybe, but there are lots of ways of creating that. In another comment you mentioned…

I doubt I'd participate in a secular community center, so I'd be interested in seeing this as an outside observer. But honestly, I doubt it'd work. Without any common values, it'll be hard to get a diverse set of people. In my experience, when secular people start this, it ends up being a club for other secular people 'like them'. In America the starkest examples of this are when these community clubs founded by whit…

You have gone to very different churches than I grew up in. The secular groups I was in at public school, college, and then as an adult were all MUCH more accepting and diverse than the churches I was in as a kid, and the private school I went to for the first 9 years of my education.

"If you stay Catholic you're going to hell" was a memorable thing one of my teachers told one of my classmates...

They really didn't like me much when I started asking questions they didn't have answers for other than "you just have to have faith," either.

Re: The vital art of talking to strangers

#206

Post by taxicabjesus »

haecceity wrote: post #165
taxicabjesus wrote: post #42

The most important thing about learning to talk to strangers is practice. Taxi driving gave me lots of new people to talk to every day. Sometimes they weren't new. I didn't remember them, but they remembered me on account of my previous efforts to get information out of them. [edit: if I was starting this today I'd be a ride share driver. But I've learned enough, and don't feel the need to drive people around again.]…

You should be a writer or something

Thanks for your comment, it's appreciated. These anecdotes are what came to mind as I read the fine link.

I originally posted diary entries to kuro5hin.org (RIP). They started out as 'these were my passengers today'. Later I picked themes to write about... I re-posted the diaries to my own domain, https://www.TaxiWars.org/ (Show HN: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=12193273 ). My comments on the Show HN picked out some of the more important pieces.

There are some other stories in my HN posts. Maybe I'll mine those for a memoir. That reminds me: Michael Crawford (not a passenger) greatly appreciated my efforts on his behalf: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=19489570 . Michael was a member here, but couldn't abide by the HN rules...

Re: The vital art of talking to strangers

#207

Post by throwawayboise »

hluska wrote: post #159
abeyer wrote: post #120

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> I still show up for the community. Always have, and likely always will. Just stick around. Why would I choose to do this somewhere that the leadership rejects me and tells me I will burn in hell? I know that many individuals within the church may not agree, but plenty will, and culture is set from the top. It's not like there aren't more social/community options than I could possibly find the time to participate in…

Sorry to have to say this but anyone who tells you you’re going to hell isn’t a Christian. I left the church over similar feelings so I identify. But for the record and the benefit of anyone else who might need to hear this, you’re not going to hell. The biblical Jesus (he’s the Christ in Christian) hung out with sailors, prostitutes and a tax collector. The fact that xtians tell people they’re going to hell in that…

No man can tell anyone how God will judge him. You seek forgiveness of sin through Christ and try to live accordingly. If your church is telling you you will go to hell (or guaranteeing you will not) you should find another church. That's not the same as condemning sin and trying to guide people away from it though.

Re: The vital art of talking to strangers

#208

Post by amelius »

iammisc wrote: post #48
munificent wrote: post #15

I have a hypothesis that almost all of the US's current cultural problems would be solved if once a month we all cooked and shared a meal with another randomly chosen family.

We used to call this going to church. When literally everyone of all political stripes attended the same churches, going to a church potluck was basically being paired randomly. However large political factions have made church membership out to be undesirable. We are reaping the rewards. I realized yesterday reading about cornel west, that even though I disagree with his politics, I see from his Christianity we have…

> We used to call this going to church.

Elementary school was the same. Military service with enforced conscription is also similar.

Re: The vital art of talking to strangers

#209

Post by maverick-iceman »

I struggle with this a lot.

I keep thinking: "Those who are really great and relevant, they don't need to go talk to strangers, it is strangers who go and approach them"

This fuels negative thoughts about not being relevant enough so it's better to postpone any active social approach towards strangers up until I'll be relevant enough that they'd be approaching me instead.

I somehow feel that this is a consequence of teenager me being in awe of Led Zeppelin, Black Sabbath, Metallica, Guns n Roses and Aerosmith. Getting the aforementioned attitude: "If you are good enough they'll come to you and you'd not have to do anything socially...just showing your talents"

Approaching strangers would be a defeat in a sense. Admitting that you are not good or rare or relevant enough to be approached by them instead.

Maybe that's why my favorite country is Brazil and the Amazonas region to be specific

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