Female Founder Secrets: Fertility • Hacker News Board

Re: Female Founder Secrets: Fertility

#201

Post by zwieback » Thu, Mar 04, 2021, 7:15 PM UTC

u678u wrote: post #178

Its interesting I had a friend who got pregnant at University. I thought it would be ruinous to their career but maybe its a better solution. When she was 40 her child was already an adult and she could fully concentrate on working.

In German there's an old saying "Jung gefreit hat nie gereut", e.g. "married young, no regrets". It always seemed wrong when I was young but my kids are just out of the house now and my bones are already getting creaky. Maybe there's some truth to those old sayings...

Re: Female Founder Secrets: Fertility

#202

Post by Aaargh20318 » Thu, Mar 04, 2021, 7:15 PM UTC

austincheney wrote: post #7

The only logical answer here is youth. The younger you are the more fertile you are. This is true for both men and women, but more true for women. If you want children at some point in life then prioritize children first and early. I know, this puts your ambitious career on hold for a while and start ups require huge ambition. Still, start up opportunities will not be hyper critically different in the future than the…

> The only logical answer here is youth.

No, the only real answer is that you are in no way required to reproduce. There are more than enough humans. Humanity is basically a plague.

Re: Female Founder Secrets: Fertility

#203

Post by karmasimida » Thu, Mar 04, 2021, 7:15 PM UTC

Wow, that is pretty depressing just hearing your story. I am not a woman, but I feel like that I can empathize with you from your words.

Work isn't everything, and it is gradually and painful realization as you grew older.

Re: Female Founder Secrets: Fertility

#204

Post by antisthenes » Thu, Mar 04, 2021, 7:16 PM UTC

astan wrote: post #67

Your whole blog resonates deeply with me. All this corporate grifting and women's empowerment months will do jack shit until we figure out how to make workplaces and lives more equitable for mothers and allowing for gaps, breaks and destigmatizing time off for parents of both genders. Instead, we talk about how sexism is the biggest problem. Sure, sexism might be annoying, but in the west, it is hardly something that…

> All this corporate grifting and women's empowerment months will do jack shit until we figure out how to make workplaces and lives more equitable for mothers and allowing for gaps, breaks and destigmatizing time off for parents of both genders.

Exactly this. Generous maternity leave and at least 0.25x paternity leave. I am not a woman, so I can't possibly begin to imagine how tough pregnancy is on a body. I also really doubt that anyone is really focused on work in the months immediately following birth.

You can't buy baby food and bond with it with a pink ribbon or with the fact that your company's board of directors is 50% female.

Lack of parental leaves is just young parents subsidizing unsavory capitalistic practices and outright greed.

Re: Female Founder Secrets: Fertility

#205

Post by jimbokun » Thu, Mar 04, 2021, 7:16 PM UTC

elliekelly wrote: post #150

dcow wrote: post #116

I think women have largely been presented a false promise by progressives: value and purpose is derived from work, go do what men do to be their equal. It’s not necessarily anybody’s fault, we live in a society where money is valued. But I wish we could structure society in a way such that the value of raising children, homemaking, is clearly communicated and understood. Being a mother without a snazzy career is frow…

> I think women have largely been presented a false promise by progressives: value and purpose is derived from work, go do what men do to be their equal. It’s not necessarily anybody’s fault, we live in a society where money is valued. But I wish we could structure society in a way such that the value of raising children, homemaking, is clearly communicated and understood. Being a mother without a snazzy career is fr…

> Me? I would be a stay at home dad in a heartbeat. I love cooking and homemaking and being there for children. But practically in my relationship that doesn't make sense so I’m obligated to work my days away in order to provide for my family. I think there’s this idea that all men love career life because it pays the bills.

Re: Female Founder Secrets: Fertility

#206

Post by requieted555 » Thu, Mar 04, 2021, 7:16 PM UTC

astan wrote: post #67

Your whole blog resonates deeply with me. All this corporate grifting and women's empowerment months will do jack shit until we figure out how to make workplaces and lives more equitable for mothers and allowing for gaps, breaks and destigmatizing time off for parents of both genders. Instead, we talk about how sexism is the biggest problem. Sure, sexism might be annoying, but in the west, it is hardly something that…

Seriously! From a male perspective, I want to have 2 lamborghinis before age 35 but I’m stuck working this stupid 9-5! I’m seriously upset when I’m out on the street and I see hardly any cars, I really feel like it’s my duty to put 2 more cars on the street. Plus it would make me so happy to have 2 cute little lambos of my own resting in my garage. I’ve always wanted some of my own. All to myself, hehe. Work sucks!

Re: Female Founder Secrets: Fertility

#207

Post by vecplane » Thu, Mar 04, 2021, 7:16 PM UTC

Wait, why is the advice to 'do something invasive, risky, and unnatural' when the actual advice should be 'have children when you're younger, not older.'

Re: Female Founder Secrets: Fertility

#208

Post by lambda_obrien » Thu, Mar 04, 2021, 7:16 PM UTC

ARandumGuy wrote: post #189

llimos wrote: post #138

Earlier quoted context omitted.

1000% this. > Why do women have to emulate men to be valuable? Growing up in a "traditional" family, the first thing that struck me when I went to work at a big investment bank was how the women did everything they could to be like men - all the way down to dress. I remember thinking, this is called equality? That what men traditionally did is clearly so much better, so women now need to become men, and we should cel…

Did they act and dress like men because of "equality," or because that's the only way they can actually be taken seriously?

I like the film short by pixar called "Purl" for this.

Re: Female Founder Secrets: Fertility

#209

Post by giantg2 » Thu, Mar 04, 2021, 7:17 PM UTC

dcow wrote: post #116

I think women have largely been presented a false promise by progressives: value and purpose is derived from work, go do what men do to be their equal. It’s not necessarily anybody’s fault, we live in a society where money is valued. But I wish we could structure society in a way such that the value of raising children, homemaking, is clearly communicated and understood. Being a mother without a snazzy career is frow…

"I think there’s this idea that all men love career life because it pays the bills. In reality it’s far from a pipe dream existence."

I completely agree.

Re: Female Founder Secrets: Fertility

#210

Post by ksdale » Thu, Mar 04, 2021, 7:17 PM UTC

u678u wrote: post #178

Its interesting I had a friend who got pregnant at University. I thought it would be ruinous to their career but maybe its a better solution. When she was 40 her child was already an adult and she could fully concentrate on working.

This is an underrated perspective. My wife's mom became a mother at 18, she certainly had a stressful 20's, but by her 30's, she was just a mom working at a bank as a teller, and by her 40's she was a woman in the back office with grown children, and now at 50 she's a VP of something or other with several grandchildren.

Society so heavily stigmatizes teen pregnancy that she still thinks of herself as kind of a screwup, but minus all the self-doubt, it seems like about as well as a life could possibly go.