Burnout can exacerbate work stress, further promoting a vicious circle

Data science, which I think makes this harder for me because a) things move so fast that you’re out of date within months and b) there is so much surface area of knowledge (math, stats, programming, visualization, ...) that impostor syndrome is an inevitability.

I do this every time I change job. It is so freaking awesome. The last time I did this I just wanted it to continue for longer... For my last job, my soon-to-be manager in the 50s told me that she had only ever had a week end in between her impressive list of jobs. I knew right then that I was going to hate my manager.

So here I am. Experienced software engineer that is currently on sick/burnout leave, where I'm not only receiving full salary, but burnout being work related illness/impairment - company is covering (at least a dozen of) psychiatrist sessions.

I can't imagine moving countries/continents on top of being burned out would be a good idea.

Though you and others that mentioned being prone to recurrence should seriously consider moving somewhere else. Like one of countries in Europe where employers are responsible for employee well being, putting in effort on reintegration, re-training professions ...etc.

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On top of "there is nothing worse than the realization of the futility in any struggle to either escape or improve. The knowledge that your output has dropped, the feeling that it's your fault".

At least for me the case was that there was also months/years long period of me thinking along the lines of "This shit is almost nothing compared to all the hard things I've been though in my life" (things spending summer break mixing concrete by hand with shovel to earn/save enough money for 10 or 15 years old computer, or living though a war ...etc)".

So for those months/years I was trying (and at various times seemingly pulling off) to keep the level of my output by trying harder/smarter/better and lot's of good old burning of midnight oil ever longer.

That is until part about being ever more annoyed about lack of output despite extra effort/hours/etc, which itself makes output kind of recursively worse - I got to a point where (with some encouragement from increasingly more and more physical symptoms that start like headache, bad stomach ...) I just couldn't keep doing that anymore.

And basically every other thing/hobby/learning/etc that was previously fun/relaxing/entertaining/interesting (including playing with my kids) - stopped being fun/relaxing/entertaining/interesting/etc somewhere along the way.

While you might be right about "Stuck in a job" and "with nobody interested in helping you because they are annoyed about your lack of output. There are no doorhandles on the inside of this washing machine."...

Also keep in mind that under burnout/stress your thinking/perception/evaluation/etc is severely impaired/limited and generally skewed towards negative.

So instead of just wondering/thinking and meowing somewhere where others might not hear/notice you, or notice your but not realize what your meow is - I would really (in scientific/objective sense) check if you're "stuck in a job with nobody interested in helping you".

Perhaps clearly/officially ask for (hopefully paid) sick leave due to stress/burnout?

OK I've seen/been at places where even that might be enough to get one fired. And sure there might be reasons that you can't risk that.

Though again - actually do some research and compile a plan of "What else could I do to cover rent/food/etc until there's something better?" (cliche example of waiting tables is not working great during Covid-19, though many people are painting/renovating/extending their homes, food/groceries delivery services need more people ...).

Since if you're completely right about everything including how much are others "annoyed about your lack of output" - you'll probably need to look for another job soon?

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PS. Although it's a throw away account because regularly used one often gives too many details about me and employer - I'll keep an eye on this thread and respond with same account for a while.

While I hope it works out for you - I'm wondering what makes you think it's just about lack of motivation?

Motivation is likely not the right word here, in my experience of burn out, depression hits pretty hard and you stop doing things for yourself due to lack of joy/seeing the point in doing anything.

"Finding motivation" from finding the joy in things is what I hope to recover. Also starting new habits and not tying so much of myself to my work/current company is something I have to learn better to do and is a goal of mine during my break.

When you care deeply about the area you are working in, it is hard to turn off. This combined with a very ambitious company lead me to crash and burn about 18 months ago. Tried to recover with short breaks and while that helped, it kept going back to the same pace and have decided if I want to kick this exhaustion, I need a longer break to form better habits and try to find that joy in what I do again.

Whether or not I'll be successful, I don't know, but need to try.