How the Finnish survive without small talk

Post by DougN7 » Sun, Oct 21, 2018, 2:36 AM UTC

Balgair wrote: post #131

illuminati1911 wrote: post #7

(I’m a Finn) I didn’t know what small talk was until I went to study abroad. Most of my foreign classmates often asked me things like ”how are you doing?” etc. and when I literally answered them what I had been up to recently they were very confused. ”Dude...no need to tell your life story, just say ’good’ and that’s it” I replied ”Why do you ask a question if you don’t care about the answer?” I learned the hard way,…

Semi-related: My uncle grew up speaking Gaelic and learned English in his later teens and has become a successful musician, doing a lot of touring. He mentioned to me, over a few glasses, that the language of the US is Sports, not English. The doormen at hotels, the roadies, the servers in restaurants, the cashiers, the flight attendants, other musicians, etc. all of them 'spoke sports.' In his experience, if you sta…

Post by aaronchall » Sun, Oct 21, 2018, 1:16 PM UTC

wolfgke wrote: post #167

Isamu wrote: post #124

Earlier quoted context omitted.

As an American, I had to learn the same thing. Only as a young kid, but I specifically remember this experience. I think most people forget this, that you have to learn that a lot of conversation is not literal, it is opaque code for something else. I am still a pretty literal conversationalist but I can translate fluently. A friend had a great anecdote about his first meal with his girlfriend's family. The father as…

Story time: At a party of math students, the following dialogue happened between classmates (names changed): Alice: "Do you know whether Carol will come to the party?" Bob: "She will come, but somewhat later. I think she will be there in half an hour." Alice: "I am not interested in whether she will come or not. If I wanted to know that information, I would simply have asked you whether she will come and if you did n…

Post by SilasX » Mon, Oct 22, 2018, 3:20 AM UTC

jnurmine wrote: post #200

Bartweiss wrote: post #114

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I'm curious whether this would actually be odd for Finns? Jerjerrod's line is phatic, but I think it's less small talk than deference or avoidance. The message is something like "I'm surprised and concerned someone with your status is involved in my work, please don't hurt me", which seems fairly universal.

In the film it's translated like they say in English, if I recall it right. But if it were from real life from after 1950-1960s (when people used the third person as a polite form, still happens but rare) the dialogue would be like this: Darth Vader enters. Moff stops what he is doing, turns toward Vader and looks at him. Nothing is said, it is obvious to both that this is a surprise for Moff. There is a pause. Moff…

Post by bemmu » Tue, Oct 23, 2018, 5:48 AM UTC

stevekemp wrote: post #83

tomp wrote: post #23

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Looks like I need to move to Finland :D

I moved to Finland from the UK, and it is strikingly different. That said strangers talk to you in the sauna all the time, and that seems to be both acceptable and encouraged.