Ask HN: How to overcome fear of flying?

A few things helped me. First, I got the Headspace app and bought their guided meditation package for fear of flying. It has a routine that stops you from falling into the self-defeating spiral of anxiety that you get from thinking about flying. Now it seems that they've partnered with some airlines to provide an in-flight audio channel for this guided meditation: https://www.headspace.com/partners/airline-partnerships

The second thing that helped me is telling myself that because of how the plane flies, there is effectively a wall of air underneath it propping it up. This wall of air is buttressed by such a strong force, that it behaves much like an actual solid surface.

Third, specifically for turbulence–I've read that the overwhelming majority of turbulence incidents are extremely routine for flight crew. They are nowhere close to any cause for concern. Whenever we hit turbulence, I tell myself that what we're experiencing is nowhere near the level that would affect our flight in any way.

That said, turbulence is always disturbing and in the moment it's hard to force your brain to accept it. What usually works for me is focusing on others–essentially people-watching. Making human contact in those situations always acts as a stress-reliever.

I had a fear of flying that stopped me from doing all sorts of things. I missed out big time.

For me, facts don't help. Visualizing it helps. See https://flightaware.com/live/. I love thinking about the fact that all of those planes that you see on that map will land safely because there will not be any airline deaths in the United States today or this month or most likely this year or for years to come. Many will go through turbulence worse than you've experienced. Some will have to return to the gate for little issues. But all will take off and land and be fine.

Until the recent Southwest accident this year there wasn't an airline accident in the US since 2009. If you fly in the US there aren't deaths per day, per month or even per year. The US went 9 years for 1 death on large scheduled commercial flights.

Even if one plane on that map had one accident with 1 death, today... You aren't lucky enough to be on that plane. If you told me that one plane on that map had Madonna on it, I'd tell you I'm just wouldn't be lucky enough to be on that plane.

Compare the turbulence you feel on the plane to the turbulence in your car. More often than not you will experience way more bumps in your car. The turbulence in your car is more dangerous to you than the turbulence on a plane.

If you want less turbulence than sit closer to the wings. The plane pivots around the wings and I often sit there and see people bouncing around in the front and back but barely feel anything from where I sit.

The larger the aircraft the more experienced the pilots are. The airline jobs used to be (not sure now) hard to get, so you are always going to have extremely qualified people flying your plane. Even when flying on (what my mom calls) a putt putt plane, the pilots on those aircraft have so many hours of flying it's insane. Airlines pilots are often just really boring people (sorry pilots). Your flight may be one of 4 they are doing that day and one of 12 they are doing that week depending on the distance.

Everything is planned out. I mean everything. Even the extremely rare idea of an engine failing during take off. You will be fine even if that happens. http://qr.ae/TUIWQI. Which it won't happen to you, again you just aren't lucky enough.

The turbulence you are scared of is not what brings planes down. They can withstand insane amount of turbulence, way more than you can imagine. That is why the wings flex. So even if you have turbulence that pops opens the luggage bins, it just isn't the thing that causes a plane to crash. A plane doesn't even bat an eyelid from that type of turbulence.

The things that have caused planes of the past to crash, have a really nil chance of happening today, because when bad things happen they fix them so they never ever ever happen again. Millions and millions of dollars go towards researching and fixing the problem.

Even small accidents cost airliners insane amounts of money and horrible PR. That recent Southwest flight accident will wind up costing Southwest Airlines > $100 million dollars. You can bet that they are going to research the crap out of that accident to make sure nothing like that ever happens again.

If all that fails, go to your doctor and tell him that anxiety is preventing you from living your live because of a fear of flying (it is) and he will prescribe you an anti anxiety medication to take ONLY on flights. After which, I promise, you will LOVE flying and you can live your life again.

The same thing happened to me. I was fine with flying until my early 30s, when I was on a flight with some terrible turbulence (~5 second sudden drop, enough for passengers to start screaming in terror).

I travel a lot for work, unfortunately. I try to close my eyes and listen to the same music every takeoff, which helps a little.i guess. Never found a solution for bad turbulence mid flight though.

I used to fly quite a lot before and never really worried about it.

Now that I have a wife and live in Australia, I routinely have to take 14h flights to get back to Europe.

14 hours is a long time without touching the ground.

Lately, I have started developing a fear of flying.

I guess my problem is the lack of control. The thought to have to let somebody else be in charge of my life is a bit upsetting. No amount of rationalization can overcome my fear.

I have read the statistics and I still feel afraid. I Have started experiencing mild panic attacks. My head starts spinning, I am sweating profusely, my palms and wet and my heart is raising and I am grabbing the armrest in a desperate attempt to not die. Even the slightest turbulences now upset me.

I think I need some help, maybe therapy or medication.

My next flight is in 6 months from now and I am already starting to be afraid of it. Even just reading this thread made me feel uncomfortable.

I had no issue flying for years until I went to visit a friend near a smaller airport and had to take an Embraer E-120 commuter jet, which is usually configured for three-abreast seating in coach. The flight there was fine, but falling asleep on the return flight and waking up in the tiny aircraft somehow triggered a panic attack.

After several years, I still haven’t completely regained my former lack of flying anxiety, although avoiding smaller aircraft has helped. It’s not really even anxiety about flying itself, but about having another panic attack, and specifically anxiety about triggering it by falling asleep in-flight.