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The Lonely End: in aging Japan, thousands die alone and unnoticed

roadsandkingdoms.com

21–30 of 174 posts

Re: The Lonely End: in aging Japan, thousands die alone and unnoticed

#21
post #9

> His epiphany came when his current partner told him how she had lost her grandmother. Unlike Koremura’s loss, her grandmother had died alone—a kodokushi. It was seeing the deep regret in her, and accepting his own ennui, that made Koremura finally take action. He left his job as a stockbroker and set up his own removal company dedicated to the cleanup of kodokushi victims. He wanted to give something back to the ge…

Japan is incredibly stubborn and ignorant when it comes to addressing core social and psychological problems in their society. It isn't even recognized by most of the population so when people begin to complain of their own social issues or depression, people around them will slowly distance themselves from that person. As a result, most people will choose to hide their issues until it is unbearable. At the point they feel they cannot continue is when they do something drastic which includes suicide.

If you bring the problem to light, people will just shy away from the debate (Japanese avoid arguments at all costs) and act ignorant. So to anyone that understands Japanese culture, Koremura's response is understandable. At least in the position he is in, he can do something.

Re: The Lonely End: in aging Japan, thousands die alone and unnoticed

#22
I used to help out in roujin hoomu (homes for the elderly) when I was a missionary in Japan. Meeting Japanese people who worked there and really gave a care was a huge experience for me. They genuinely tried their hardest to make the experience pleasant in these under-budgeted, dreary places. While we Americans were just a temporary sideshow, they were there to help for as long as they could live off the salary. Makes me sad but also a bit hopeful that those waves could build up over time. If I ever go back I will happily exchange my fascination with Manga or cool stationery or whatever for some more time trying to help out.

Re: The Lonely End: in aging Japan, thousands die alone and unnoticed

#23
post #3

This is so sad. Dying alone is more frightening than death itself. It is articles like this that force me to stop working so hard and spend more time with family.

I genuinely want to know: why is that frightening? I have thought through this a few times and I did not come to this conclusion at all.

Because death is final and there is no pain afterwards. A long, slow decline is a form of mental torture. I think that's what the GP meant.

Re: The Lonely End: in aging Japan, thousands die alone and unnoticed

#24

In my mind I see this as a social health crisis. The elderly provide an unbelievable amount of wisdom to the next generation. By abandoning them, we abandon our children's future. I think of the elderly as an essential vitamin for children. They impart valuable social memes and at the same time tell the children, by there mere existence in their lives, that we value our family and when the children's time comes to ag…

Really have to qualify your comment. All horrible people will eventually become elderly. Despite the "wisdom" that such people may have, many have an incredible ability to wreak havoc in the lives of others... to the point of being a net negative on future generations.

Re: The Lonely End: in aging Japan, thousands die alone and unnoticed

#25

In my mind I see this as a social health crisis. The elderly provide an unbelievable amount of wisdom to the next generation. By abandoning them, we abandon our children's future. I think of the elderly as an essential vitamin for children. They impart valuable social memes and at the same time tell the children, by there mere existence in their lives, that we value our family and when the children's time comes to ag…

Society is bizarre in innumerable ways. The number of people who I know that have contempt for children or people having children is repugnant to me. I think the disdain for the young and old is a sign of decadence.

More often than not it's contempt for bad parenting, really. Overenthusiastic natalism can be a negative, as taboo as it is to suggest it.

Re: The Lonely End: in aging Japan, thousands die alone and unnoticed

#26
post #19
post #6

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Who are any of us to judge what a life well lived is to anyone else?

Society. The very notion of "well" etc (and most things we believe to be "good" or "ethical") comes from shared culture, else it's totally arbitrary personal preference. It's not about "logical objective reasoning" either. Treating people bad for example. Nothing "logical" about it being more wrong that treating them nice (especially if it benefits you to do so). But the culture we co-created and live in makes it wro…

Society has been trending towards "arbitrary personal preference" in many areas lately. Conversely, society has condoned and even encouraged things that are horribly unfair. So I don't see why we would carve out an exception for judging the "well-lived-ness" of a person's life based on society's precepts about the number or closeness of friends and family.

Re: The Lonely End: in aging Japan, thousands die alone and unnoticed

#28

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I don't understand it either. Why is it frightening? I also didn't quite understand the family comment either. Whose family are you talking about? When you are born, you have your mom (and possibly Dad) around you. But as you grow older, Mom and Dad will pass away and you'll thus be alone. Unless you have kids, you'll die alone. Even if you do have kids, life happens. I know plenty of people who don't talk to their k…

I think some people have this fantasy, that they are on their death bed and there is 3 generations weeping around them. Sorry, but is this even true any more? Well, at least here in my Southern European country, it sure is. While there are many more elderly people dying alone than a couple of decades ago, I'd say most people I know still keep in close contact with their parents and grandparents, and they spend their…

In fact, that's one thing I always found disconcerting in online conversations with US Americans - the willingness to just move hundreds of miles from their parents and grandparents.

In practice, this doesn't seem to occur often: http://phys.org/news/2010-05-americans-surprisingly-mothers....

Re: The Lonely End: in aging Japan, thousands die alone and unnoticed

#29

In my mind I see this as a social health crisis. The elderly provide an unbelievable amount of wisdom to the next generation. By abandoning them, we abandon our children's future. I think of the elderly as an essential vitamin for children. They impart valuable social memes and at the same time tell the children, by there mere existence in their lives, that we value our family and when the children's time comes to ag…

Society is bizarre in innumerable ways. The number of people who I know that have contempt for children or people having children is repugnant to me. I think the disdain for the young and old is a sign of decadence.

Is it the contempt for children, or the contempt for people who believes that having children is the only way to live a life?

Re: The Lonely End: in aging Japan, thousands die alone and unnoticed

#30

In my mind I see this as a social health crisis. The elderly provide an unbelievable amount of wisdom to the next generation. By abandoning them, we abandon our children's future. I think of the elderly as an essential vitamin for children. They impart valuable social memes and at the same time tell the children, by there mere existence in their lives, that we value our family and when the children's time comes to ag…

> The elderly provide an unbelievable amount of wisdom

Sorry, no. It's not because you grow grey hair that you get gifted wisdom or anything. There's a bunch of older people who are actually assholes, too. Getting old does not make your into a Saint.

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