Join the Engineering Leisure Class

"An engineer earning an amazingly-not-uncommon salary of $100k/year ends up living in an expensive place like San Francisco, starts spending money on some admittedly lovely luxuries, and quickly becomes convinced that her spending is just about right for a comfortable life."

Certainly, one way to manage all this is to not live in a place like San Francisco. But I think it is important to make sure people know that lovely luxuries aren't really what forces people with families to focus on money, and that if you do try to raise a family in SF on the median developer's pay (about $114k a year in SF), you'll find engineers don't really have "more money than need", though of course there's always a version of poverty or struggling that would make raising a family on $114k in any expensive city a cakewalk.

Just keep in mind, the median price for a house here is over 1 mil, and that 1 mil will get you a 2br, maybe 3, south of 280 or maybe the outer sunset. OK areas. Full time childcare is about $24,000 a year. Those are really the whopper expenses (that and health care).

Are those "lovely luxuries"? Well, maybe living in SF is a lovely luxury. I like it here, though I'm really here because I grew up here, have two kids in school, and have so much family around that I'm sort of superglued at this point. But yeah, I could leave. All in all, I think there are better places (no, I'm not like some pac northwester trying to get you scared of the rain, if it's your choice to live here you should be welcome in SF, but I really do mean this, I'm really not sure SF is worth it if you have the option of living somewhere else).

I'm not trying to be hard on the author of this piece, but I do think it's important for people to know that engineers in SF even in dual income families struggle with housing and child care payments, not with luxury cars, expensive vacation, lovely luxuries.

- On how long it takes to save up enough money that you don't need to work: depends on your assumptions, but yes it takes some years of work. There are lots of people who write on this, I especially like: http://www.mrmoneymustache.com/

- I don't personally have enough money to pay for my current living expenses for the 70-odd years I hope to remain alive. It was an important shift for me when I stopped thinking this was necessary. I have enough money to glide for several years, and I'm confident that either some money will come my way during those years (and I believe it's a little easier to make money when you're not worried so much about it), or I will at least have enough time to notice I'm running out and adjust course. I'm not too worried about the "hole in my resume". If you do interesting stuff with your life, you'll always have a good story to tell. Maybe your story isn't optimized for going up a certain career ladder, but who cares?

- I don't think luxuries are bad, and I think you spending money on a piano could be an awesome use of your time on earth. I just think we don't realize quite how many choices we have. I know lots of poor musicians find ways to get access to pianos, and owning a house out here in 29 Palms is certainly not too costly. But that doesn't mean you have to do it that way!

- I also spent more money while I was working long hours in part to "de-stress". While I don't think it was strictly necessary, I don't think it's crazy. It's just useful to remember that those "de-stressing" costs disappear when you leave the stressful situation.

MMM definitely makes most sense for people who enjoy doing the sorts of things MMM enjoys doing. I happen to really like a lot of the around-the-house type DIY projects, so it's a good fit for me, but I don't think there's a moral imperative to it. MMM sets the "$30k/year" bar for frugal family living with his DIY lifestyle, but there are plenty of people who do it differently. My wife's extended family are for the most part recent immigrants, so a lot of them live in that range (comfortably enough!) with a completely different type of frugality.

Really excellent suggestions in my opinion