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Stop Complaining in February

complaintrestraint.com

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Re: Stop Complaining in February

#21

Post by forgottenpass »

Venting is called venting for a reason. There is no "secret sauce" to stopping, but there do exist plenty of techniques for stress management that aren't venting. "Simply stop complaining" can even be a more dangerous coping mechanism than unrestrained venting.

Edit: Maybe I wasn't very clear - I'm not saying venting is a good idea, I'm fairly sure it's considered maladaptive coping (but don't care to look that up this early in the morning). I'm trying to express that it's still a coping mechanism and "simply stop complaining" is wholly inadequacy advice to someone who doesn't have a strong coping strategy in their life.

Re: Stop Complaining in February

#22

Post by beobab »

archildress wrote: post #16
PaulHoule wrote: post #7

It is said very well in the Serenity Prayer of Alcoholics Anonymous: God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, The courage to change the things I can, And the wisdom to know the difference.

I have found the last part to be the most difficult to discern.

I find the second part the hardest. I suspect that another might find the first the hardest. Which one probably reveals something fundamental about our character. :)

Re: Stop Complaining in February

#23

Post by syntheticnature »

PaulHoule wrote: post #7

It is said very well in the Serenity Prayer of Alcoholics Anonymous: God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, The courage to change the things I can, And the wisdom to know the difference.

It actually originates with Reinhold Niebuhr, though it sounds like it came in fairly early to AA.

Re: Stop Complaining in February

#24

Post by mankyd »

forgottenpass wrote: post #21

Venting is called vent ing for a reason. There is no "secret sauce" to stopping, but there do exist plenty of techniques for stress management that aren't venting. "Simply stop complaining" can even be a more dangerous coping mechanism than unrestrained venting. Edit: Maybe I wasn't very clear - I'm not saying venting is a good idea, I'm fairly sure it's considered maladaptive coping (but don't care to look that up t…

This website doesn't deny that. They're merely asking you to try under-doing it instead of over-doing it:

> Complaining is great. We all need to vent from time to time. But many of us also overdo it. Sometimes. In this month, you can see life from a more positive side – and learn about yourself, one complaint at a time.

Re: Stop Complaining in February

#25

Post by marcandre »

forgottenpass wrote: post #21

Venting is called vent ing for a reason. There is no "secret sauce" to stopping, but there do exist plenty of techniques for stress management that aren't venting. "Simply stop complaining" can even be a more dangerous coping mechanism than unrestrained venting. Edit: Maybe I wasn't very clear - I'm not saying venting is a good idea, I'm fairly sure it's considered maladaptive coping (but don't care to look that up t…

[citation needed]. It is a myth that one need or even should "let go" of their negative emotions. Instead, that reinforces the propensity to feel that emotion more strongly the next time. Rad "Emotional intelligence" (1st chapter IIRC) by Goleman for a better explanation and scientific references.

Re: Stop Complaining in February

#27

Post by PaulHoule »

beobab wrote: post #22
archildress wrote: post #16

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I have found the last part to be the most difficult to discern.

I find the second part the hardest. I suspect that another might find the first the hardest. Which one probably reveals something fundamental about our character. :)

Well, it is a difficult enough problem that one might wish to appeal to a "higher power"

Re: Stop Complaining in February

#29

Post by jschulenklopper »

jdreaver wrote: post #19

I see a lot of people taking interest in this idea. For a more nuanced and holistic approach to "not worrying about things you cannot change," I would check out Stoicism: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stoicism The best intro book, in my opinion, is William B Irvine's "A Guide to the Good Life: The Ancient Art of Stoic Joy". The main problem I find with simply "Stop Complaining," is how do you do it? What should you an…

> The best intro book, in my opinion, is William B Irvine's "A Guide to the Good Life: The Ancient Art of Stoic Joy".

See Derek Sivers' notes for that book at https://sivers.org/book/StoicJoy.

Re: Stop Complaining in February

#30

Post by skrebbel »

I'm in!

That said, I find it hard to hold on to a negative thought ("don't do X, don't think Y"), so I decided to apply the reverse: I'm going to be happy about the amazing things I have access to in February.

I mean, think about it. Running water! Isn't that amazing?

And think about wifi on airplanes. In the air! Flying! Chatroulette on air! Even on economy class!

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