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Entrepreneurs anonymous

economist.com

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Re: Entrepreneurs anonymous

#21

Post by thegenius »

The hardest thing about entrepreneurial success for me personally is the envy it has generated. I wasn't prepared for it.

When I first started seeing results in my business, I quit my job and was able to spend a lot of time doing whatever I wanted. My wife would post pictures of us constantly going on day trips and vacations. It pissed some important people in my life off, and they became very passive aggressive towards me.

It's easy for people who haven't experienced it to assume it's easy to ignore, but when your family members start off by criticizing you, then doubting you, then watching you succeed beyond what they could have imagined, they can end up feeling extremely violated.

I spent the first two years feeling sorry for myself that so and so wasn't talking to me. Now, I've moved on and am stronger than ever.

Re: Entrepreneurs anonymous

#22

Post by beachstartup »

thegenius wrote: post #21

The hardest thing about entrepreneurial success for me personally is the envy it has generated. I wasn't prepared for it. When I first started seeing results in my business, I quit my job and was able to spend a lot of time doing whatever I wanted. My wife would post pictures of us constantly going on day trips and vacations. It pissed some important people in my life off, and they became very passive aggressive towa…

crabs in a bucket.

Re: Entrepreneurs anonymous

#23

Post by thegenius »

beachstartup wrote: post #22
thegenius wrote: post #21

The hardest thing about entrepreneurial success for me personally is the envy it has generated. I wasn't prepared for it. When I first started seeing results in my business, I quit my job and was able to spend a lot of time doing whatever I wanted. My wife would post pictures of us constantly going on day trips and vacations. It pissed some important people in my life off, and they became very passive aggressive towa…

crabs in a bucket.

It wasn't so simple for me to tell myself that and feel better as I wish it were.

For example, one of the people who won't speak to me anymore is a family member who was my biggest hero growing up and the reason why I got into computer programming. I was very angry that he stopped talking to me, and he gave me all sorts of excuses as to why, but his criticisms told the truth of what was really bothering him.

Over time, what I've had to accept is that he has limitations, and he's not the hero I had made him out to be. It's takes time coming to terms with reality that way, especially when you thought so highly of the person to begin with.

Re: Entrepreneurs anonymous

#24

Post by beachstartup »

thegenius wrote: post #23
beachstartup wrote: post #22

Earlier quoted context omitted.

crabs in a bucket.

It wasn't so simple for me to tell myself that and feel better as I wish it were. For example, one of the people who won't speak to me anymore is a family member who was my biggest hero growing up and the reason why I got into computer programming. I was very angry that he stopped talking to me, and he gave me all sorts of excuses as to why, but his criticisms told the truth of what was really bothering him. Over tim…

all of that negativity is just a projection of their own disappointment in themselves.

real friends will cheer you on. they will be happy for you. if they're struggling, they will seek your advice - "a friend in need is a friend indeed".

family does not imply friendship. i know all of this from experience.

Re: Entrepreneurs anonymous

#25

Post by walterbell »

cageface wrote: post #20
porter wrote: post #10

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I quit a good banking job after making it through the recession and several rounds of layoffs. My friends thought I was nuts. I had friends take me out to lunch and tell me most people were looking for jobs, not quitting them. But I didn't quit just because I was dissatisfied. At the heart of it, I just felt like a caged animal and I knew I had to break free.

The thing I've learned from trying to be independent for four years is that you always have to answer to someone. Whether it's a boss or customers or business partners or the platform provider you depend on you are never truly "free".

Freedom of will to choose whose will can constrain concurrency.

Re: Entrepreneurs anonymous

#27

Post by throwaway8137 »

acgourley wrote: post #8
porter wrote: post #4

I used to encourage everyone I know to quit their job and start a company. Now, after having done just that, I no longer recommend this path. Not because I regret doing it. In fact, I think it was one of the best decisions I've ever made. But the road is, as the article says, about as romantic as "chewing glass." Sure, there are wonderful days when things are working even better than I had planned. But then there are…

When people ask me if they should start a company, I do a short interview with them to understand their motivation. It's usually dissatisfaction with their job combined with a grass-is-greener view of entrepreneurship. I believe in many circumstances people have a higher chance of finding happiness by pouring deliberate energy into finding a great job rather than starting their own company.

I do a short interview with them to understand their motivation.

Could you please try me?

I have a good job as a software engineer at a successful start up. I am introvert and somewhat shy (although less then I used to be). I don't think many people could imagine me as a CEO. Nonetheless here are the reasons I want to start a company:

- I want to do something meaningful. I don't mean curing cancer, but having small, positive impact on other people though software. My current job provides that, but only in very small, indirect way.

- I need to have as much control as possible over what I work on, if my work seems pointless it's a huge demotivator for me.

- My father is an successful entrepreneur and I think that rolemodel influenced me.

- I dream of financial independence in my 30ies (working only when I want to). I know that this is not a good reason, but nonetheless part of my motivation.

EDIT: I rewrote some of this, because my I failed to express myself in my first attempt

Re: Entrepreneurs anonymous

#28

Post by eloff »

beachstartup wrote: post #24
thegenius wrote: post #23

Earlier quoted context omitted.

It wasn't so simple for me to tell myself that and feel better as I wish it were. For example, one of the people who won't speak to me anymore is a family member who was my biggest hero growing up and the reason why I got into computer programming. I was very angry that he stopped talking to me, and he gave me all sorts of excuses as to why, but his criticisms told the truth of what was really bothering him. Over tim…

all of that negativity is just a projection of their own disappointment in themselves. real friends will cheer you on. they will be happy for you. if they're struggling, they will seek your advice - "a friend in need is a friend indeed". family does not imply friendship. i know all of this from experience.

I think it just shed light on who were really your friends and who were not.

Re: Entrepreneurs anonymous

#29

Post by ggreer »

thegenius wrote: post #21

The hardest thing about entrepreneurial success for me personally is the envy it has generated. I wasn't prepared for it. When I first started seeing results in my business, I quit my job and was able to spend a lot of time doing whatever I wanted. My wife would post pictures of us constantly going on day trips and vacations. It pissed some important people in my life off, and they became very passive aggressive towa…

I'm sorry some of your relationships suffered due to your success. I doubt I've been as successful as you, but some people have reacted similarly in my life. I think it can help to view some forms of envy as a mental illness.[1] It's not your fault they're behaving that way, so don't take it personally. If these people are important to you, keep trying to reach out. They might come around eventually.

1. It's important to separate good and bad forms of envy. Bad envy involves wishing misfortune upon someone. Good envy doesn't. Many people envy Elon Musk, but don't wish him any ill and want him to succeed.

Re: Entrepreneurs anonymous

#30

Post by graeme »

throwaway8137 wrote: post #27
acgourley wrote: post #8

Earlier quoted context omitted.

When people ask me if they should start a company, I do a short interview with them to understand their motivation. It's usually dissatisfaction with their job combined with a grass-is-greener view of entrepreneurship. I believe in many circumstances people have a higher chance of finding happiness by pouring deliberate energy into finding a great job rather than starting their own company.

I do a short interview with them to understand their motivation. Could you please try me? I have a good job as a software engineer at a successful start up. I am introvert and somewhat shy (although less then I used to be). I don't think many people could imagine me as a CEO. Nonetheless here are the reasons I want to start a company: - I want to do something meaningful. I don't mean curing cancer, but having small,…

None of these sound like great reasons. I'm four years into starting a business. Here was my motivation:

  * A burning desire not to work for anyone else.
  * A desire, not to retire, but to free up time for all the other things I want to do. Chiefly learning.
It is impossible to to convey, in writing, how badly I wanted these things. I had had a small taste of the working world, and couldn't bear the thought of it.

I wanted to be free of my time. I had read the four hour workweek, and longed for income to that was mostly automatic.

Your motives don't seem like mine. You sound like you might be a better candidate for this:

http://www.mrmoneymustache.com/

That's a reasonable guide to retiring in your 30s. The author was a software engineer. He just reduced his spending and saved a high % of his salary.

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