Good lord, how can this be a crime? Leaving my puppy alone in the car for a minute or three here or there (under reasonable circumstances of course) has been a productive part of developing his confidence in himself, his ability to be alone, and his ability to be calm. I'm not a parent, but I expect basics like this apply to kids too- how can they grow up to be well-adjusted adults if they must be supervised at all times?
The day I left my son in the car
21–30 of 223 posts
Re: The day I left my son in the car
#22I'd be interested in hearing non-US perspectives on this. Is it acceptable elsewhere to leave your small child alone in the car for 5 minutes while you get something from a store? Would you fear for the child's safety, of legal action, or neither? Is the US leading the way criminalizing parents who do such things, or are there other countries that have been doing this for years?
In the UK things have changed and so parents need to be careful. Various high profile cases have resulted in changes to both social services and police processing.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Murder_of_Victoria_Climbi%C3%A9...
http://www.theguardian.com/social-care-network/2013/nov/11/b...
Does that result in "over reactions" - depends on your point of view.
Re: The day I left my son in the car
#23I'd be interested in hearing non-US perspectives on this. Is it acceptable elsewhere to leave your small child alone in the car for 5 minutes while you get something from a store? Would you fear for the child's safety, of legal action, or neither? Is the US leading the way criminalizing parents who do such things, or are there other countries that have been doing this for years?
> I'd be interested in hearing non-US perspectives on this. Finland here. Some people would leave a child in a car when they conduct a short errand, and some people would not, and the latter might frown upon the former. But the law enforcement would never ever get involved. That Salon article is just absurd. A whole new level of American weirdness. (Then again, we rarely have weather as hot as the more southern count…
I don't exactly mean to question this, but in Finland is it common for the inside of cars to reach 40-50C within an hour during the summer?
Re: The day I left my son in the car
#24I once left my puppy beagle in the back of my car, windows cracked, while I ran into the restaurant to pick up takeout.
I was not in there more than 5 mins. When I got out, started to pull away, and was stopped by a cop who then called animal services.
This level of nanny-state-ism drives me slightly crazy. But the real issue for me was the person who decided s/he needed to call the police (the police for this). If it were me, I would probably sit and wait on a bench nearby, keeping an eye out. It's true that the dog was barking like crazy but he's a dog (a beagle at that), and dogs bark. I'd watch and if he showed signs of distress, I'd act. Or, if it turned into 20, 30 mins, then probably I would also react. But the person who comes across a situation and instantly goes to "call the police" is not something I understand.
I think maybe we all know the type who just likes to report things. Who likes that power trip. I can't help but feel we'd maybe be better off if those types learned to be more circumspect in their actions.
(In the end i paid my $35 fee and told the cop and animal control that I thought what they were doing was a total farce.)
Re: The day I left my son in the car
#25I'd be interested in hearing non-US perspectives on this. Is it acceptable elsewhere to leave your small child alone in the car for 5 minutes while you get something from a store? Would you fear for the child's safety, of legal action, or neither? Is the US leading the way criminalizing parents who do such things, or are there other countries that have been doing this for years?
I'm from Australia, have lived in the US, Ecuador, Argentina and now Canada. My sister lives in the UK.
I've never seen anywhere else in the world that takes these issues as seriously (and insanely) as the US.
In Australia it's extremely common to see young kids walking to school without an adult, playing in the park after school, etc. etc. Many young kids will walk to the corner shop to buy candy or whatever without supervision. Adults think nothing of this, it's perfectly normal. It's unthinkable someone would call the Police for this.
EDIT: I should add, however, that it's highly illegal to leave a child in a car, due to the extreme heat. I've never seen it, but I expect people would call the Police or just break into a car if they saw this happening. It's taken so seriously, the punishment is actually the same for leaving an animal in the car as it is for leaving a child in the car.
Re: The day I left my son in the car
#26This is just so patently absurd. The legal issue seems to revolve around "rendering the child in need of services". A child alone in a car for 5 minutes on a mild day is not in need of services. The case should be thrown out right there.
Re: The day I left my son in the car
#27While it's tough to criticize the decision to leave a child in the car for a few minutes -- happened to me all the time as a child -- I'm forever scarred by seeing a dead child pulled out of a car in the office complex next to mine [1]. The dad was bashing his head against a tree trying to knock himself unconscious because he was so overcome with grief. Officers were trying to restrain him when his wife showed up and…
As with lots of things: The details matter. Leaving a kid in a car shouldn't be an offense. Not returning ~soon~ might be and might be a reason to call the cops/force the car open.
Parents can damage/kill their kids in uncountable ways. Most don't and really try to avoid that. Trying to watch over their shoulder isn't 'Good citizenship', it's crazy and a witch hunt. You start to be labeled as child abuser if your kid is crying like hell (toothing maybe, or really interested in strawberries that you don't like to hand out - but the people around you don't understand that, don't have the slightest bit of clue about the situation. More often than not, OTHER parents are worse than the rest).
Give it a rest. The scenario you describe sounds terrible. But it's not relevant to the situation at hand. The person in the article describes that she checked the temperature, knew how long it'd take (even had a deadline on multiple levels, not only 'Today I do not want to choke my kid in the car' - she even planned to take a flight before the kid could have taken any damage. More seriously, a parent decided something for her kid. Something she does gazillion times a day. People might object to a number of her decisions and this particular one got her in trouble? Someone 'snitched'? Sad. The system failed.
I understand:
- someone was worried, called the cops
- cops reacted (yay!)
But:
- before cops arrived, kid was gone and obviously safe with the parent
- charges were pressed, just because?
One word: Insane.
I'm a father of two, both younger than the kid in the car.
edit: One of the worst typos I made so far.
Re: The day I left my son in the car
#28I'd be interested in hearing non-US perspectives on this. Is it acceptable elsewhere to leave your small child alone in the car for 5 minutes while you get something from a store? Would you fear for the child's safety, of legal action, or neither? Is the US leading the way criminalizing parents who do such things, or are there other countries that have been doing this for years?
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Re: The day I left my son in the car
#29While it's tough to criticize the decision to leave a child in the car for a few minutes -- happened to me all the time as a child -- I'm forever scarred by seeing a dead child pulled out of a car in the office complex next to mine [1]. The dad was bashing his head against a tree trying to knock himself unconscious because he was so overcome with grief. Officers were trying to restrain him when his wife showed up and…
The very big difference is that child-bakes-in-the-car heat deaths are not because Dad left the kids in the car while he ran in to the store for a few minutes, but because Dad forgot the kid was in the car at all. http://www.parenting.com/article/tragedy-in-the-backseat-hot...
Parent runs into store for few minutes, trips and knocks head becoming unconcious / has stroke / has heart attack / etc etc - child dies.
Having said that, This story is a really good example of how tough it is for some parents and how hostile society is to parenting.
Re: The day I left my son in the car
#30> It was a temporary lapse in judgment. Leaving your child in a car for five minutes is definitely a lapse in judgment. Not because it's dangerous so much as because your peers are stupid. I remember a time where I was really tempted to leave my kid in the car. He was asleep. It was a nice cool day. I was going to be gone for much less than five minutes. I was going to be able to see the car the entire time. Nope. Be…
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I think you've misread me. I think it's ludicrous that you can't leave your kid in the car for short intervals. I didn't "want" to take my kid in.