Are there other blurs that are cheaper than the Gaussian but look good enough to replace it for this sort of purpose?
Amusingly Autodesk ship a GLSL shader with Flame which uses a triangular kernel under the hood but labels the button in the interface "Gaussian", the cheeky swines...
The nicest option to imitate lens blur is a circular kernel but that's quite aggressively non-separable. The other thing that really helps is blurring linear-light values instead of the usual gamma-encoded images. The blurs in Windows 7's Aero themes very clearly don't do this, to my eye - dark lines spread out too much and look generally muddy.
VFX guy who loves to blur things here :)