Life is not a conveyor belt • Hacker News Board

Re: Life is not a conveyor belt

#21

Post by insuffi » Mon, Jul 08, 2013, 1:03 PM UTC

I would've expected somewhat differently inclined comments from the hackernews community.

Instead, everybody is just saying the same thing expressed in different wording - safety.

His point is not to bypass the entire family, house aspect of your life. The point is to not move along life as if you have no choice but to move to the next "stage".

Progress is not moving up the stages - getting a house, getting a family, a dog, a kid. Those are just arbitrary checkpoints defined to make you feel like you're making something of your life. The american dream, eh? :)

Progress is to construct a life not defined by limits and boundaries. Living it to the fullest - travel, do great big, inspirational things.

If you choose to have kids when you're 20, you are almost by definition limiting your life only to be somebody who takes care of your kids and works a stable job with a stable family(a stable car, a stable dog, a stable bed to sleep in, a stable tv and a stable view of the world). In other words, inexperienced and short-sighted.

Re: Life is not a conveyor belt

#22

Post by alex-warren » Mon, Jul 08, 2013, 1:08 PM UTC

user24 wrote: post #20

alex-warren wrote: post #18

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I can't spot the bit in my post where I said I knew what the answer to poverty was - but is the only option for people in poverty really to wait for a promotion? For people who are not in poverty, which I presume includes most of us here idly browsing Hacker News, do we descend down that hierarchy of needs as soon as we step off the conveyor belt? I think there are more paths to fulfilment than you realise.

You're grasping for an alternative reality where people don't need to work. But without a concrete suggestion it's just wishful thinking. I think the fact that every large society on the planet ever has been based on this model is important. > is the only option for people in poverty really to wait for a promotion You're overstating my position. Don't wait for an opportunity; create one. But yes, pretty much. There i…

Never said people don't need to work, but they should think about the kinds of work they want to do and the kind of life they want they lead, and creatively consider all the opportunities that are available to them. In fact that's pretty much all I'm saying, really.

Re: Life is not a conveyor belt

#23

Post by nasmorn » Mon, Jul 08, 2013, 1:10 PM UTC

jasonkester wrote: post #9

One of the strange things about being 40 is meeting people my own age who have college-age children. It's amazing how little I have in common with people who chose that life track. They seem "old" to me, even though they're often several years younger than me. As though they've lived a lot more life than me, but not the "good" parts of life. I can't imagine how tough it must be to raise a family on an entry-level job…

I could not disagree more. For me children (first at 27) were the red pill. Before I was a video gaming pop cultured nerd who was too privileged to be really hungry yet too scared of failure to try anything grand. My daughters made me embrace my mediocrity. I do more interesting things now than before even if it is much harder. For me postponing children too achieve something greater is like not having sex because you think it is going to make you like Newton. You either have it in you or you dont.

Re: Life is not a conveyor belt

#24

Post by alex-warren » Mon, Jul 08, 2013, 1:11 PM UTC

insuffi wrote: post #21

I would've expected somewhat differently inclined comments from the hackernews community. Instead, everybody is just saying the same thing expressed in different wording - safety. His point is not to bypass the entire family, house aspect of your life. The point is to not move along life as if you have no choice but to move to the next "stage". Progress is not moving up the stages - getting a house, getting a family,…

It's not too surprising really - the comments are similar to those I got on my blog post from a couple of weeks ago: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=5951536 - although it is strange how "conventional" a lot of HN commenters are, you'd think we were more of an ambitious entrepreneurial lot really...

Re: Life is not a conveyor belt

#25

Post by user24 » Mon, Jul 08, 2013, 1:13 PM UTC

alex-warren wrote: post #22

user24 wrote: post #20

Earlier quoted context omitted.

You're grasping for an alternative reality where people don't need to work. But without a concrete suggestion it's just wishful thinking. I think the fact that every large society on the planet ever has been based on this model is important. > is the only option for people in poverty really to wait for a promotion You're overstating my position. Don't wait for an opportunity; create one. But yes, pretty much. There i…

Never said people don't need to work, but they should think about the kinds of work they want to do and the kind of life they want they lead, and creatively consider all the opportunities that are available to them. In fact that's pretty much all I'm saying, really.

I completely agree with that.

You do seem to be pushing hard against something though. It comes off as both arrogant and naive, and leads to misinterpretation.

For someone who's just saying "consider your options", it sure seems like you think you're saying a lot more than that.

What, exactly, is wrong with new kitchens?

Re: Life is not a conveyor belt

#26

Post by DanBC » Mon, Jul 08, 2013, 1:13 PM UTC

insuffi wrote: post #21

I would've expected somewhat differently inclined comments from the hackernews community. Instead, everybody is just saying the same thing expressed in different wording - safety. His point is not to bypass the entire family, house aspect of your life. The point is to not move along life as if you have no choice but to move to the next "stage". Progress is not moving up the stages - getting a house, getting a family,…

> If you choose to have kids when you're 20, you are almost by definition limiting your life only to be somebody who takes care of your kids and works a stable job with a stable family(a stable car, a stable dog, a stable bed to sleep in, a stable tv and a stable view of the world). In other words, inexperienced and short-sighted.

You're missing the point of children - some people experience intense joy from raising their children.

Re: Life is not a conveyor belt

#27

Post by insuffi » Mon, Jul 08, 2013, 1:17 PM UTC

DanBC wrote: post #26

insuffi wrote: post #21

I would've expected somewhat differently inclined comments from the hackernews community. Instead, everybody is just saying the same thing expressed in different wording - safety. His point is not to bypass the entire family, house aspect of your life. The point is to not move along life as if you have no choice but to move to the next "stage". Progress is not moving up the stages - getting a house, getting a family,…

> If you choose to have kids when you're 20, you are almost by definition limiting your life only to be somebody who takes care of your kids and works a stable job with a stable family(a stable car, a stable dog, a stable bed to sleep in, a stable tv and a stable view of the world). In other words, inexperienced and short-sighted. You're missing the point of children - some people experience intense joy from raising…

That may be true. A lot of people, however, choose to have kids only because they think kids will bring joy to their life, not the other way around, which makes for a terrible relationship dynamic.

In other words, a couple becomes bored of their stable life. They think - oh, maybe a kid will make our lives more exciting.

Re: Life is not a conveyor belt

#28

Post by guylhem » Mon, Jul 08, 2013, 1:38 PM UTC

DanBC wrote: post #26

insuffi wrote: post #21

I would've expected somewhat differently inclined comments from the hackernews community. Instead, everybody is just saying the same thing expressed in different wording - safety. His point is not to bypass the entire family, house aspect of your life. The point is to not move along life as if you have no choice but to move to the next "stage". Progress is not moving up the stages - getting a house, getting a family,…

> If you choose to have kids when you're 20, you are almost by definition limiting your life only to be somebody who takes care of your kids and works a stable job with a stable family(a stable car, a stable dog, a stable bed to sleep in, a stable tv and a stable view of the world). In other words, inexperienced and short-sighted. You're missing the point of children - some people experience intense joy from raising…

You're missing the point of drugs - some people experience intense joy from taking drugs.

Re: Life is not a conveyor belt

#29

Post by user24 » Mon, Jul 08, 2013, 1:42 PM UTC

insuffi wrote: post #21

I would've expected somewhat differently inclined comments from the hackernews community. Instead, everybody is just saying the same thing expressed in different wording - safety. His point is not to bypass the entire family, house aspect of your life. The point is to not move along life as if you have no choice but to move to the next "stage". Progress is not moving up the stages - getting a house, getting a family,…

> everybody is just saying the same thing expressed in different wording - safety.

There's this recurring theme in what you and OP are saying, that you think buying a house, getting married, having kids, building a career is somehow 'safe' or 'boring' or that those that do it are 'risk-averse' (or worse, are 'robots', or 'sheep' or 'followers', like you have the answer and everyone else is blind).

How is it safe or not risky to commit the next 20 years of my life to caring for my child? Or to commit to providing for my wife through a secure well paid job? And I love my life, it's fascinating. Rarely a boring moment.

Or I can travel. Woo. Take lots of photos. Brag about how out-there I am. Inspirational things huh?

I agree that one shouldn't live life going through the motions. But take care that you don't see the 2.4 kids and assume too much about the person. What's the use of all your long-sighted experience if you're too quick to judge people?

I say again, each of us is a fascinating individual. You and your ilk seem to dismiss some life choices as less worthy - even going so far as declare them incorrect.

Is a mortgage and a dog and a kid 'limited'? I don't see why it has to be. Am I limited because I can't get up and move to Canada on a whim? I am free in myself. More than that I am building something greater than myself; my family. I've chosen stability and responsibility over the ephemeral pleasures of whimsy.

That is truly inspirational, isn't it?

Re: Life is not a conveyor belt

#30

Post by jasonkester » Mon, Jul 08, 2013, 1:56 PM UTC

insuffi wrote: post #21

I would've expected somewhat differently inclined comments from the hackernews community. Instead, everybody is just saying the same thing expressed in different wording - safety. His point is not to bypass the entire family, house aspect of your life. The point is to not move along life as if you have no choice but to move to the next "stage". Progress is not moving up the stages - getting a house, getting a family,…

I'm a big fan of substituting the word "and" into choices that traditionally involve an "or". "House Wife & Kids or Travel & Happy Instability" is the latest one for me, and it seems to work just fine doing both thus far.

In this case, I think the crux of facing that choice at age 20 is that you pretty much only get to pick one for financial reasons. By around 35, a fella can have enough banked away to happily do both at once.