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The Lie Hollywood Loves to Tell

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Re: The Lie Hollywood Loves to Tell

#21

Post by anigbrowl »

dbecker wrote: post #14

I think this may be solving a legitimate problem, but I think you are incorrect that the source of the problem is hollywood. Online dating follows historically from personals classifieds. Personals ads contained very little information (in part because they had to be so short). This meant you were going on a date with someone you knew nothing about. It was worse than just a blind date... because you didn't even have…

Hollywood helped to normalize the idea of online dating with Sleepless in Seattle - if it was good enough for tom Hanks and Meg Ryan, then sure, why not? OP comes off as slightly unhinged and blaming the world for his failure to find love.

Re: The Lie Hollywood Loves to Tell

#22

Post by p2w »

nhangen wrote: post #11

I think the lie told is not one of predestined love, but of perfect love. That you'll find the person of your dreams, they will sweep you off your feet, and you'll never have a negative feeling about them. It will all end storybook. Of course the next 20 chapters are ones of compromise, empathy, regret, and apologies, with happiness and perfection in between.

ha! no shit. after almost two decades of marriage i laugh my ass off at this online dating stuff. what a farce. it's a perfect metaphor for the shallow cesspool our culture has become...

Re: The Lie Hollywood Loves to Tell

#23

Post by gcb0 »

seldo wrote: post #16

I'm honestly really surprised to hear that anybody thinks there is still stigma attached to online dating. I don't know what it's like for straight people, but online dating definitely has zero stigma for gay folks. I mean, compared to Grindr -- where all criteria for meeting somebody have been reduced to "I don't want to have to walk more than a couple of blocks" -- online dating like OKCupid is staid and respectabl…

well, the stigma is that it outright tells me you don't have friends.

i never had to go out alone to find a significant other. Sure a few days i had to stay home because none of my friends wanted to go out. but that's life.

... you will probably not meet, and be happy with, someone you meet in a dive bar, or online dating. it's just common sense, or you may call it stigma.

Re: The Lie Hollywood Loves to Tell

#24

Post by mlent »

jrockway wrote: post #15

What's the incentive for my friends to do all this work for me for free? Why would I bother setting up a profile for a friend? It seems like a lot of work for no benefit. The OkCupid profiles make more sense: you make them so that you look good and you get dates. Work -> reward.

Because they're your friend and you want them to meet someone that's right for them...? I have a friend whose roommate made an OkCupid profile for her because she wanted her to meet more people.

Re: The Lie Hollywood Loves to Tell

#25

Post by Macsenour »

gcb0 wrote: post #23
seldo wrote: post #16

I'm honestly really surprised to hear that anybody thinks there is still stigma attached to online dating. I don't know what it's like for straight people, but online dating definitely has zero stigma for gay folks. I mean, compared to Grindr -- where all criteria for meeting somebody have been reduced to "I don't want to have to walk more than a couple of blocks" -- online dating like OKCupid is staid and respectabl…

well, the stigma is that it outright tells me you don't have friends. i never had to go out alone to find a significant other. Sure a few days i had to stay home because none of my friends wanted to go out. but that's life. ... you will probably not meet, and be happy with, someone you meet in a dive bar, or online dating. it's just common sense, or you may call it stigma.

"you will probably not meet, and be happy with, someone you meet in a dive bar, or online dating. it's just common sense"

Huh? Since OkCupid, and many others, work and are very popular, how can it be common sense that you won't meet someone you'll be happy with? Can you explain that?

Re: The Lie Hollywood Loves to Tell

#26

Post by curt »

The problem with online dating boils down to: guys have no idea what they are doing. I've helped my friends and the secret is to write a three sentence message: an intro about why the message, a funny sentence, and finally a light question. It's pretty simple.

I used it on OkCupid and got about a 30-50% response rate. Now I'm 6'8" and in shape which skewed the results but my friends copied what I did and their response rates skyrocketed. Then you only send 2-3 more messages before asking her out for drinks. Worked nearly 100% of the time.

I think that it comes down to, people spend way too much time trying to write the perfect message or profile. Be yourself. Think of it as a filter to get rid of the girls that you aren't compatible with.

Then when you're on the date, relax and just have fun. I've heard so many horror stories from my female friends of guys that are super awkward. The group setting is a great idea as it relaxes people and gives them support. That's why wingmen exist.

Re: The Lie Hollywood Loves to Tell

#27

Post by rayiner »

gcb0 wrote: post #23
seldo wrote: post #16

I'm honestly really surprised to hear that anybody thinks there is still stigma attached to online dating. I don't know what it's like for straight people, but online dating definitely has zero stigma for gay folks. I mean, compared to Grindr -- where all criteria for meeting somebody have been reduced to "I don't want to have to walk more than a couple of blocks" -- online dating like OKCupid is staid and respectabl…

well, the stigma is that it outright tells me you don't have friends. i never had to go out alone to find a significant other. Sure a few days i had to stay home because none of my friends wanted to go out. but that's life. ... you will probably not meet, and be happy with, someone you meet in a dive bar, or online dating. it's just common sense, or you may call it stigma.

That's a very "Hollywood" way to think. If you're looking for a compatible someone, why not increase your chances by searching among a group of people who are also looking for a compatible someone, instead of hoping you randomly happen upon people while out with your friends.

Re: The Lie Hollywood Loves to Tell

#28

Post by Macsenour »

anigbrowl wrote: post #21
dbecker wrote: post #14

I think this may be solving a legitimate problem, but I think you are incorrect that the source of the problem is hollywood. Online dating follows historically from personals classifieds. Personals ads contained very little information (in part because they had to be so short). This meant you were going on a date with someone you knew nothing about. It was worse than just a blind date... because you didn't even have…

Hollywood helped to normalize the idea of online dating with Sleepless in Seattle - if it was good enough for tom Hanks and Meg Ryan, then sure, why not? OP comes off as slightly unhinged and blaming the world for his failure to find love.

Huh? The two characters met with Tom Hank's son called into a radio program. How is that online dating?

Re: The Lie Hollywood Loves to Tell

#30

Post by anigbrowl »

Macsenour wrote: post #28
anigbrowl wrote: post #21

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Hollywood helped to normalize the idea of online dating with Sleepless in Seattle - if it was good enough for tom Hanks and Meg Ryan, then sure, why not? OP comes off as slightly unhinged and blaming the world for his failure to find love.

Huh? The two characters met with Tom Hank's son called into a radio program. How is that online dating?

I'm sorry, I meant You've got mail. Both films star Hanks and Ryan.
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