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Why people shouldn’t love you for who you are

sean-johnson.com

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Re: Why people shouldn’t love you for who you are

#21

Post by wuest »

cousin_it wrote: post #6
guylhem wrote: post #3

The conclusion, "People have a right to expect more from you" seems dead wrong to me, and I don't really see any answer to the question asked by the title. If you are want some better answers, read instead this little gem ESR posted on Google+ a little while ago: http://www.cracked.com/blog/6-harsh-truths-that-will-make-yo... Let's say that the person you love the most has just been shot. He or she is lying in the st…

That's a great article, thanks for the link! > If your dream girl or guy had a hidden camera that followed you around for a month, would they be impressed with what they saw? Now I want to try walking around imagining that my dream girl is watching me :-)

> Now I want to try walking around imagining that my dream girl is watching me :-)

I have done (something similar to) this for the better part of my life. Such a mindset leads you to really go out of your way to push yourself.

Re: Why people shouldn’t love you for who you are

#22

Post by GiraffeNecktie »

mtrimpe wrote: post #14
GiraffeNecktie wrote: post #4

It's important to distinguish two, seemingly contradictory positions: 1 People won't love me for who I am. In fact, it's the job of the rest of the world to show me where I need to improve. But, on the other hand ... 2 I should love people for who they are. It's not my business to make people over. My job is to make myself over. There's more than enough work to be done there. Working on other people's supposed failin…

So it's like Postel's principle (be liberal in what you accept no strict in what you emit) for relations?

Yep.

Re: Why people shouldn’t love you for who you are

#23

Post by smrtinsert »

kstenerud wrote: post #12

This post, like many contrarian posts, tackles the "problem" by swinging the pendulum all the way to the other side. It's up to you to decide which parts of you you're not willing to compromise on, and stick to your guns on those parts. Sure, if you find that too many people dislike you, do a little soul searching and perhaps change your stance, but don't allow yourself to be boxed in by other peoples' expectations o…

Rational posts have no place on the internet. I think we're supposed to respond with large blocks of angry text and swagger if possible.

Re: Why people shouldn’t love you for who you are

#24

Post by thewisedude »

Another way to think about this is- Who is the real you? Because you are changing! When you are 21 years old, you might be one person, when you are 30 years old you might have evolved for better or for worse!

Is the real you when you are 1 year old, or 1 day old?

If somebody were to love you for exactly who you were say when you were 10 years old, the moment you change, you become unlovable is it?

I think this quote shouldn't be a guiding principle or be given as much importance!

Re: Why people shouldn’t love you for who you are

#25

Post by deskglass »

guylhem wrote: post #3

The conclusion, "People have a right to expect more from you" seems dead wrong to me, and I don't really see any answer to the question asked by the title. If you are want some better answers, read instead this little gem ESR posted on Google+ a little while ago: http://www.cracked.com/blog/6-harsh-truths-that-will-make-yo... Let's say that the person you love the most has just been shot. He or she is lying in the st…

A counterpoint. Search for Stephen Conn's comment. http://paulbuchheit.blogspot.com/2012/03/eight-years-today.h...

"We are surrounded by an ideology of exceptionalism that teaches us that we will find fulfillment through great personal achievement. But this is a terrible way to build identity. Not because it is crassly inhumane--though it is--but because it is false."

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