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Don't be a scary old guy: My 40s survival strategy with charm

devas.life

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Re: Don't be a scary old guy: My 40s survival strategy with charm

#21

Post by sparrish »

neom wrote: post #6

I hate to admit this but balding has been a really really stressful thing for me getting into 40. I didn't think it would be, I hardly looked in the mirror at the best of times during my 20s and 30s, but I've been rapidly balding over the past 2/3 years and I can see by this time next year...I'll be bald. I'm at the point I've been considering going to turkey, but I think the most surprising thing to me is just now m…

Embrace it, friend. Shave it all off and grow a goatee (Breaking Bad style). You'll get your mojo back and be better off for it.

Re: Don't be a scary old guy: My 40s survival strategy with charm

#22

Post by eweise »

jack_tripper wrote: post #5

Jesus. If at 40 you're already seeing yourself old and worried about survival something must be wrong. At 40 you're barely at the halfway point of your career since we're gonna have to work till our 70's anyway, so buckle up for another 30+ years.

I'm sixty and still don't see myself as old. 41 is still young.

Re: Don't be a scary old guy: My 40s survival strategy with charm

#23

Post by jack_tripper »

dewey wrote: post #12
echelon_musk wrote: post #4

[flagged]

You are surely privileged if you can make your living off indie software and are working for yourself where you have more flexibility on structuring your day, but I'd not call that "rich" in the regular sense.

I think in today's world, being rich just means being able to wither layoffs without becoming homeless.

Building any kind of meaningful wealth for early retirement, is out of reach most people.

Re: Don't be a scary old guy: My 40s survival strategy with charm

#24

Post by ilaksh »

jack_tripper wrote: post #5

Jesus. If at 40 you're already seeing yourself old and worried about survival something must be wrong. At 40 you're barely at the halfway point of your career since we're gonna have to work till our 70's anyway, so buckle up for another 30+ years.

This is ageism and it's rampant and very problematic. He is ageist against himself almost as much as society is.

You should not need to do anything special to be a 40 or 50 year old (or whatever) and fit in with a group.

This is one of the last 'isms' that society has yet to tackle. But society will eventually become less ageist as it ages more and more.

Re: Don't be a scary old guy: My 40s survival strategy with charm

#25

Post by amarant »

sparrish wrote: post #21
neom wrote: post #6

I hate to admit this but balding has been a really really stressful thing for me getting into 40. I didn't think it would be, I hardly looked in the mirror at the best of times during my 20s and 30s, but I've been rapidly balding over the past 2/3 years and I can see by this time next year...I'll be bald. I'm at the point I've been considering going to turkey, but I think the most surprising thing to me is just now m…

Embrace it, friend. Shave it all off and grow a goatee (Breaking Bad style). You'll get your mojo back and be better off for it.

Don't forget to learn to play the base guitar!

Re: Don't be a scary old guy: My 40s survival strategy with charm

#26

Post by cmsj »

neom wrote: post #6

I hate to admit this but balding has been a really really stressful thing for me getting into 40. I didn't think it would be, I hardly looked in the mirror at the best of times during my 20s and 30s, but I've been rapidly balding over the past 2/3 years and I can see by this time next year...I'll be bald. I'm at the point I've been considering going to turkey, but I think the most surprising thing to me is just now m…

I started thinning in my early 20s and by my late 20s I was hanging on for dear life to too little scalp hair.

Then one day I decided enough was enough and I just shaved my head. 20 years later I wouldn't go back to a full head of hair.

It's easier than having a hairstyle, quicker than having a hairstyle, cheaper than having a hairstyle, and best of all, any time I've gotten hot and sweaty, I can just chuck some water over my head in a sink and enjoy whole-scalp-cooling!

Re: Don't be a scary old guy: My 40s survival strategy with charm

#27

Post by jack_tripper »

ilaksh wrote: post #24
jack_tripper wrote: post #5

Jesus. If at 40 you're already seeing yourself old and worried about survival something must be wrong. At 40 you're barely at the halfway point of your career since we're gonna have to work till our 70's anyway, so buckle up for another 30+ years.

This is ageism and it's rampant and very problematic. He is ageist against himself almost as much as society is. You should not need to do anything special to be a 40 or 50 year old (or whatever) and fit in with a group. This is one of the last 'isms' that society has yet to tackle. But society will eventually become less ageist as it ages more and more.

> He is ageist against himself almost as much as society is.

I think he's just trying to be proactive with an insurance policy to cushion the blow since societal ageism is completely out of your control.

You might not believe in ageism being real, but if the job market does, then you're shit out of luck, so might as well start prepping for it.

>But society will eventually become less ageist as it ages more and more.

I doubt it. Employers will just demand more immigration that's more youthful and more exploitable or just offshore more.

Where I live in EU, there really isn't a huge market for white collar workers over 50 despite society already skewing quiet old. One compounding issue is that in my country once you hit 50 you get firing protections so nobody wants to hire someone they won't be able to fire, especially if the industry is full of ambitious young blood like in SW.

Re: Don't be a scary old guy: My 40s survival strategy with charm

#28

Post by cmsj »

eweise wrote: post #22
jack_tripper wrote: post #5

Jesus. If at 40 you're already seeing yourself old and worried about survival something must be wrong. At 40 you're barely at the halfway point of your career since we're gonna have to work till our 70's anyway, so buckle up for another 30+ years.

I'm sixty and still don't see myself as old. 41 is still young.

I'm merely 47 and I don't really feel like I'm any older than I was in my 20s. Smarter hopefully, wiser certainly, but I never really completely put away childish things.

Re: Don't be a scary old guy: My 40s survival strategy with charm

#29

Post by _yb2s »

neom wrote: post #6

I hate to admit this but balding has been a really really stressful thing for me getting into 40. I didn't think it would be, I hardly looked in the mirror at the best of times during my 20s and 30s, but I've been rapidly balding over the past 2/3 years and I can see by this time next year...I'll be bald. I'm at the point I've been considering going to turkey, but I think the most surprising thing to me is just now m…

Lean into it and shave your head… I started balding at 18 but regret not shaving my head until my mid 30s… it eliminated all of my anxiety about it, and women seemed to find me more attractive.

Re: Don't be a scary old guy: My 40s survival strategy with charm

#30

Post by bcjdjsndon »

natebc wrote: post #20
bcjdjsndon wrote: post #16

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Because it's so elementary?

it's really not. It's easy for some, sure and you're maybe one of them (or perhaps mistaken!) but many, many MANY people, especially men, even intelligent men struggle with social situations and maintaining healthy social relationships.

Be nice? Don't be a know it all? Even if you don't believe it you've surely heard people say it sometime in the last 40 years. Autism notwithstanding, and that probably accounts for a decent share of the readership
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