doesn't matter who's smarter. who's dominant?
I think studies have shown that relationships where the woman is the dominant pare unfulfilling for both partners, in general.
Ask: My girlfriend is much smarter than I, how do I manage?
21–30 of 45 posts
Re: Ask: My girlfriend is much smarter than I, how do I manage?
#22My advice in life is not to worry about intelligence when it comes to love. Everyone is capable of learning beyond there current capacity and no knowledge is unobtainable or incomprehensible if you have the motivation to learn. Intelligence only affects the time it takes to comprehend an idea and perhaps even extend that idea into innovation. People all have their things they are intelligent at.
What you need to do is examine the qualities about you that makes her attracted to you. If shes a smart girl and she knows what she personally wants out of a relationship dont let your self esteem ruin that because you assume she is looking for a rocket scientist boyfriend. Chances are she has dated smart guys and believe it or not. Smart guys tend to be just as egotistical and insecure as anybody else even if they have everything going for them. (attractive, good job, big house, ect). The thing about smart guys like this, is that they like to feel like they are the smartest thing that walked into the room and that their opinions and theories are the one and only true way of processing information. They would feel threatened by the woman and try to make himself better than her, usually by manipulating her self esteem.
This does happen more often then we would like to admit and women in today's age, especially a smart one just wants to be recognized for the characteristics that define her. You are already showing a quality she probably values in you by identifying the fact that she is intelligent and that is a value worth appreciating in a woman.
Which I must say, speaks alot for your own intelligence and sense of maturity. Just listen to what she says because intelligent people love to share the things they know and be asked questions. Discussions and perhaps even a little debating. (have to be careful that you debate and not argue, know what you are talking about :P).
Dont stress the details when it comes to romance. Just love every minute of it and focus on providing for your partners emotional needs and always encourage them to improve themselves in life. Thats what makes a successful long lasting relationship, not this notion of being the "alpha" male that society likes to sell us on. Sure there are woman like that in the world. But they tend to be the kind who ends up valuing the opinions on the Jersey Shore as apposed to the opinions held by leading research scientists in the world. :P
Re: Ask: My girlfriend is much smarter than I, how do I manage?
#23Go see a psychologist. Truly, for just asking this question. Not just for male superiority but because of some narcissistic tendency that you think you are supposed to be smarter then her.
I can assure you that no matter how smart you think you are, women will always be smarter then you; especially if it's an argument.
You're not even giving us a baseline of what 'smarts' is in your definition. I've dated women who were seemingly less intelligent and yet had more street-smarts and social-intelligence then I could ever hope to have. Intelligence isn't just being able to do fancy math with long equations. If you needed to fix your car and she knew how to do it and you were clueless, then she'd be smarter then you. Everyone has strengths, everyone has weaknesses. This isn't exactly ground-breaking information either (or really shouldn't be).
Re: Ask: My girlfriend is much smarter than I, how do I manage?
#24Define "smarter".
Re: Ask: My girlfriend is much smarter than I, how do I manage?
#25She is your girlfriend? Or you just started dating her? Which is it? ;) For all your dating questions, go search for "Doc Love" at Ask Men. He writes articles there and they are gold for dating advice. This man is a wizard. Don't take advice from anyone else. Thank me later. Appearances are everything. Don't worry about being smart, rather, shoot for appearing smart. One of the most powerful ways to appear smart is t…
> (the girl _who_ you are dating is better than the girl _that_ your friend is dating.)
Shouldn't that be "the girl whom you are dating?"
Re: Ask: My girlfriend is much smarter than I, how do I manage?
#26She isn't that smart if she is dating a jerk with self-esteem issues! You still reading? Great! Some of the greatest scientists in their mature years acknowledged that there was far more which they didn't know than what they did. Being smart is more about learning and growing as a human being. Not just winning some variant of Trivial Pursuit. Maybe this could become a stretch goal for both of you. Best wishes for a t…
I appreciate this wake up call. I don't think I have problems accepting criticism and I think I deserve it here.
Re: Ask: My girlfriend is much smarter than I, how do I manage?
#27doesn't matter who's smarter. who's dominant? I think studies have shown that relationships where the woman is the dominant pare unfulfilling for both partners, in general.
Well I don't think that any of us is very dominant. We don't have dominant personalities either.
I do know that when we debate she's very dominant as she always seems to better know or understand the issue than me.
Re: Ask: My girlfriend is much smarter than I, how do I manage?
#28You would certainly prefer to be the smartest. Do you feel threatened ?
It feels threatening knowing that your partner is always right, and thereby when you argue makes you always (mostly) wrong.
It also feels threatening knowing that she's capable of doing whatever it is you're doing just better.
Re: Ask: My girlfriend is much smarter than I, how do I manage?
#29Define "smarter".
She's capable of studying any new topic much faster than I. Even topic that she has no experience in and I have been working on for several years. She's doing an MD in Medicine and a bsc in computer science simultaneously. She's also a Marathon runner and a quite successful artist.
Re: Ask: My girlfriend is much smarter than I, how do I manage?
#30I had a really exceptional girlfriend (extremely smart, successful and beautiful) - and married her. In general you should see it as a success. Most people only date the next-best-fit, you found someone you admire. Ask her what she admires/ loves in you and you'll surely find out some truly exceptional facts about yourself to soothe your self-esteem.
That's a cute idea actually. I just hope she won't comment about my looks. I really hope there's something else there :)