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I do not remember my life and it's fine

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Re: I do not remember my life and it's fine

#21

Post by 1xdevnet »

paulcole wrote: post #13
andoando wrote: post #2

> "Write about a time during your university studies in which you faced a difficult problem, and what you did to overcome it." I assume these are difficult for anyone who hasn't prepared for them. I've always attributed this to the fact that we usually never categorize/conceptualize events in these terms in the first place.

What do you mean “hasn’t prepared for them”? Isn’t just living and thinking preparing for questions like this? They’re not that hard.

Presumably for interviews - specifically STAR[0] format. And no, "just living and thinking" isn't preparing for this. Not everyone thinks in that manner.

[0] - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Situation,_task,_action,_resul...

Re: I do not remember my life and it's fine

#22

Post by educasean »

lukeholder wrote: post #14

I thought everyone was like this? No one has a perfect memory. I’m sure it’s a very small slice of people who have their memories filed in a database like lookup system? Some memories stick, most don’t?

I can picture my wife's dead grandfather in my head. When I do, I can almost hear his gruff voice and the mannerisms with which he spoke. My mind also immediately conjured up an image of his garden full of cacti, and the yellow wooden chair that sat beside it.

I believe this is the stuff people with aphantasia struggle with.

Re: I do not remember my life and it's fine

#23

Post by viccis »

lukeholder wrote: post #14

I thought everyone was like this? No one has a perfect memory. I’m sure it’s a very small slice of people who have their memories filed in a database like lookup system? Some memories stick, most don’t?

Half the time when people describe aphantasia, I want to say something like "you realize that most people don't 'see' things in their mind as clear as open eye visuals, right?" but I keep quiet because I know that the worst thing you can do with something like this is make them feel as though you've invalidated something that has become a core pillar of their identity by that point.

Re: I do not remember my life and it's fine

#24

Post by numeri »

opan wrote: post #15
lukeholder wrote: post #14

I thought everyone was like this? No one has a perfect memory. I’m sure it’s a very small slice of people who have their memories filed in a database like lookup system? Some memories stick, most don’t?

Reading the article, I think I can do what the author can't, but I also think he probably imagines what he lacks to be more clear/detailed than it is for people without the issue. I can recall specific events from many years ago from my perspective, but it's tidbits, and the info feels lossy. The question he struggled with about past challenges is difficult for most people, I'd guess, but I do not think his issues ar…

I think you're assuming more people are like you than actually are.

This is part of the classic debate around aphantasia – both sides assume the other side is speaking more metaphorically, while they're speaking literally. E.g., "Surely he doesn't mean he literally can't visualize things, he just means it's not as sharp for him." or "Surely they don't literally mean they can see it, they're just imagining the list of details/attributes and pretending to see it."

Re: I do not remember my life and it's fine

#25

Post by numeri »

viccis wrote: post #23
lukeholder wrote: post #14

I thought everyone was like this? No one has a perfect memory. I’m sure it’s a very small slice of people who have their memories filed in a database like lookup system? Some memories stick, most don’t?

Half the time when people describe aphantasia, I want to say something like "you realize that most people don't 'see' things in their mind as clear as open eye visuals, right?" but I keep quiet because I know that the worst thing you can do with something like this is make them feel as though you've invalidated something that has become a core pillar of their identity by that point.

That's the thing, some people do see things in their mind that clearly. It's about as rare as full aphantasia, but it's absolutely a spectrum.

Re: I do not remember my life and it's fine

#26

Post by mkfs »

To some degree, mind's eye clarity is an illusion, with many overestimating the fidelity of their mental imagery. One of the better, more recent examples is the "draw a bicycle" experiment: https://road.cc/content/blog/90885-science-cycology-can-you-...

Granted, many can't draw at all, but people's inability to reproduce from memory an object of some complexity that they see (and likewise, use) every day is telling.

Also the well-documented inaccuracy of eye-witness testimony.

Re: I do not remember my life and it's fine

#27

Post by stephen_g »

paulcole wrote: post #13
andoando wrote: post #2

> "Write about a time during your university studies in which you faced a difficult problem, and what you did to overcome it." I assume these are difficult for anyone who hasn't prepared for them. I've always attributed this to the fact that we usually never categorize/conceptualize events in these terms in the first place.

What do you mean “hasn’t prepared for them”? Isn’t just living and thinking preparing for questions like this? They’re not that hard.

I'd have to think for a few minutes to really come up with good examples because it's basically going over a huge number of random memories and re-categorising them into a framework that's completely different to how they're stored in my memory. This is even with me having (I believe) pretty good autobiographical memory with not really any of the deficiencies talked about in the article.

Off the top of my head without really stopping and thinking for a while I can often only come up with some boring and generic examples.

Re: I do not remember my life and it's fine

#28

Post by adriand »

opan wrote: post #15
lukeholder wrote: post #14

I thought everyone was like this? No one has a perfect memory. I’m sure it’s a very small slice of people who have their memories filed in a database like lookup system? Some memories stick, most don’t?

Reading the article, I think I can do what the author can't, but I also think he probably imagines what he lacks to be more clear/detailed than it is for people without the issue. I can recall specific events from many years ago from my perspective, but it's tidbits, and the info feels lossy. The question he struggled with about past challenges is difficult for most people, I'd guess, but I do not think his issues ar…

I suspect I'm close to the SDAM side on the autobiographical memory spectrum, since reading this my immediate thought was, wow. But you make a good point. So I have a question for you, which is, do you remember acquaintances from a few years ago who you haven't seen since?

I have these jarring social experiences where I encounter people who readily recognize me, refer to me by name, etc., and I have no idea who they are. Usually (although not always) they look vaguely familiar, so that I know I must have known them at some point, but they have essentially been erased from my mind. I cope with this by greeting them warmly and just faking it.

I am also absolutely terrible at remembering personal details from other people's lives, although I have great recall of scientific facts, figures and dates.

In general I feel like my past is about about three or four years long. I'm in my mid-forties and everything from before the pandemic feels like it happened a century ago. But I have no gauge on whether that is normal.

Re: I do not remember my life and it's fine

#29

Post by klysm »

OptionOfT wrote: post #10

This is exactly what I experience, and for me, this is a huge issue when it comes to 'selling myself', whether it is in an interview, or writing a self-assessment for a review. And just like the author, I couldn't answer questions about hard problems that I've solved, until someone pointed out a moment where I did something they would call an achievements. Now, at that moment I have the right references. It is still…

In the same boat, also with ADHD.

Re: I do not remember my life and it's fine

#30

Post by 1970-01-01 »

VonTum wrote: post #6

My experience is similar to the SDAM described in the post. Indeed factual information, or things that are linked to locations are easy to access, yet more arbitrary information like "That one restaurant is named Fleep Burger" or "That person I met a while ago is named Bert" completely escape me. I do feel like it's a major disadvantage. I often have to act the part when people remenisce about important shared experi…

I've always attributed this to feeling that I truly don't care about some moments or scraps of information. Holding onto them is an entirely pointless chore for the mind, so we forget them by default. Mapping of physical space must be a very different form of memory, however. This doesn't seem to degrade very much over decades and decades of time.
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