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What really happens inside a dating app

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Re: What really happens inside a dating app

#21

Post by jameslk »

> The likelihood to like and exchange inside homosexual groups is much higher than in heterosexual ones.

> The like ratio of a girl is almost independent of the profiles she sees. For example, if a girl has a like ratio of 5% and you remove 50% of the profiles, even if you remove only the profiles she will not like, her like ratio will still be 5%

These two statements sound like they would be at odds. It seems either the first statement is incorrect or women on dating apps are more choosy when it comes to men only. I’d be curious how the stats play out on lesbian dating apps

Re: What really happens inside a dating app

#22

Post by bradlys »

> More than 50% of men just never receive a like, and never means maybe 2 or 3 likes in the lifespan of several weeks

As someone in that more than 50%, it’s very annoying to constantly get told to get on the apps to meet women. I’m surrounded by men in the top 20% because I’m affluent, well educated, and spend a lot of time at the gym. Sadly, I’m just around these people and wasn’t born into the same kind of family. I’m an outsider. I was born poor and ugly. I’ve solved the poor thing but being ugly is incurable. I’m going to Beverley hills next week and getting more surgery to try to alleviate the ugliness but it’s pathetic what a man in his mid-30’s has to do now to even get a single like back on his profile.

Women don’t need men anymore in the developed world. Men are luxury goods and women are completely happy to live without. A man isn’t needed but merely wanted and only wanted if he fits a very particular set of criteria.

Re: What really happens inside a dating app

#23

Post by 383toast »

plants wrote: post #4

> Recommendation of profiles that you may like is a solved technical challenge at Tinder level and at mostly any dating app today. It’s hard to take the rest of the article seriously after reading this!

They know what you like, but that doesn't mean they will show you those profiles. Their goal is to maximize revenue, not maximize users finding good matches.

Re: What really happens inside a dating app

#24

Post by jfengel »

bradlys wrote: post #22

> More than 50% of men just never receive a like, and never means maybe 2 or 3 likes in the lifespan of several weeks As someone in that more than 50%, it’s very annoying to constantly get told to get on the apps to meet women. I’m surrounded by men in the top 20% because I’m affluent, well educated, and spend a lot of time at the gym. Sadly, I’m just around these people and wasn’t born into the same kind of family.…

Out of curiosity... what does "ugly" mean? Is it deformed, or just not conforming to a cultural beauty standard?

Re: What really happens inside a dating app

#25

Post by bradlys »

jfengel wrote: post #24
bradlys wrote: post #22

> More than 50% of men just never receive a like, and never means maybe 2 or 3 likes in the lifespan of several weeks As someone in that more than 50%, it’s very annoying to constantly get told to get on the apps to meet women. I’m surrounded by men in the top 20% because I’m affluent, well educated, and spend a lot of time at the gym. Sadly, I’m just around these people and wasn’t born into the same kind of family.…

Out of curiosity... what does "ugly" mean? Is it deformed, or just not conforming to a cultural beauty standard?

Ugly by most standards is simply not being desired by anyone. You don't have to be an acid victim like two-face to be ugly. I'd say someone is definitely ugly if you swipe on a few hundred average looking people and get zero matches back.

That's ugly.

Re: What really happens inside a dating app

#26

Post by jfengel »

bradlys wrote: post #25
jfengel wrote: post #24

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Out of curiosity... what does "ugly" mean? Is it deformed, or just not conforming to a cultural beauty standard?

Ugly by most standards is simply not being desired by anyone. You don't have to be an acid victim like two-face to be ugly. I'd say someone is definitely ugly if you swipe on a few hundred average looking people and get zero matches back. That's ugly.

Understood. Thank you.

Re: What really happens inside a dating app

#27

Post by metalliqaz »

plants wrote: post #4

> Recommendation of profiles that you may like is a solved technical challenge at Tinder level and at mostly any dating app today. It’s hard to take the rest of the article seriously after reading this!

I disagree. "The algorithm" is understood by everyone in 2025 to be a more-or-less perfect attention hoarder. TikTok, Insta, YouTube, etc. have proven they can definitely surface the content that users will like. I see no reason why profiles would be different.

Re: What really happens inside a dating app

#28

Post by ge96 »

allenbina wrote: post #10

I'm not going to go into details as I don't want to create a throwaway account for HN, but I can attribute a lot of people's feelings in dating apps to a few things. I got an email from Bumble a few years ago that said I was in the top x percent of people swiped on. If you try to brute force stats your way to dating apps, you will fail.... to some extent. A lot of this comes down to looks that you can control, and lo…

What sucks nowadays is picture filters can't tell what's real I guess until you meet them

Re: What really happens inside a dating app

#29

Post by brazzy »

ramoz wrote: post #9
acuozzo wrote: post #6

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> conveys neediness & a level of desperation In your experience, to what extent would displaying these qualities negatively impact a woman on a dating app?

If a woman is using professional shots? Or a male? Either way - For an attractive person: not much impact, though I think there is still a bit of a handicap depending on the type of person they are trying to attract and how much confidence plays into a valued trait for the other person. The same goes for how much of it seems ego-driven vs genuine. For the average person: I mean you're simply limiting your pool. And p…

If I see a very attractive person with professional photos on a dating website, I'll assume it's a scammer using photos of some model.

Re: What really happens inside a dating app

#30

Post by marinmania »

bongoman42 wrote: post #5

Interesting data in the article though nothing unexpected for people who follow this space. Some notable points: > The other thing that interests you is the like ratio, or the openness, among 100 profiles that the user sees, how many of them does he like? (The median for men is 26% and for women is 4%.) >The like ratio of a girl is almost independent of the profiles she sees. For example, if a girl has a like ratio o…

I have a theory for the swiping behavior of women. When they swipe right, it will most likely be a match, and they mentally don't want more than X active conversations at a time. This strikes me as rational and reasonable.

For men, most swipes will not be a match, so less reason to ever think about swiping left to maintain a certain swipe pecentage.

Just a theory!

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