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In Memoriam: Noah Gibbs

blog.schwad.org

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Re: In Memoriam: Noah Gibbs

#21

Post by PittleyDunkin »

Trasmatta wrote: post #15
n2d4 wrote: post #13

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> I'm not sure why that is. Well, you explained it in your second paragraph; to respect the family, and the deceased themself. Some causes of death (suicide, overdose, etc.) come with a lot of private information about the individual that they might not have chosen to share.

Yeah, that makes sense. I think it's always right for family's to choose not to share details, and I don't think it's ever appropriate for people to bug them for details. I think what I wonder a little bit more about is why it's seen as inappropriate for people to just wonder what happened, even though I feel that's a natural human response, especially if they knew the person in some way (as long as that wondering do…

It's generally considered rude to gawk at other peoples' suffering, even if it is a normal and empathizable reaction. I think this gets even more acute the closer to the suffering the action gets. I doubt many people would be surprised that people are curious about what happened, though.

(FWIW I perceived your comment as "natural curiousity" moreso than gawking, thanks to your respectful hedging.)

Re: In Memoriam: Noah Gibbs

#22

Post by JamesSwift »

Trasmatta wrote: post #12
ksec wrote: post #5

Does anyone know what happened? I haven't seen it mentioned anywhere. He was posting about breaking his ankle while skiing and a few days later we have the sad news. We first lost Chris Seaton not long ago and now Noah from the Ruby Community. I will copy what Nate ( Maintainer of Puma ) wrote about Noah down below. Noah was: A member of the YJIT team. The author of "Rebuilding Rails" The creator of the Rails Ruby Be…

> Does anyone know what happened? I haven't seen it mentioned anywhere. I haven't seen what happened either. Hopefully it's not inappropriate to bring up in this thread, but I've always found it curious how there seems to so often be a cultural expectation of secrecy when someone dies young, and some treat it as wrong to even wonder. I'm not sure why that is. Is this something specific to Western cultures, or is this…

Well its been less than a week that the persons husband/father passed away unexpectedly. The sense of loss and tragedy is at an all time high. They already addressed the death with "Noah's passing was sudden and very fast. He did not suffer". I think its fair to assume that if they wanted to share more, they would have, and otherwise thats all they want to put out publicly at the moment.

When someone young dies, you can assume there is a higher level of tragedy and unexpectedness involved. And so in many ways its harder for loved ones to cope with. Its not really about not being allowed to ask, its about giving them time to grieve. And even then, imagine having to resurface the grieving just to satisfy morbid curiosity of strangers.

Re: In Memoriam: Noah Gibbs

#23

Post by n2d4 »

quasarj wrote: post #20
n2d4 wrote: post #13

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> I'm not sure why that is. Well, you explained it in your second paragraph; to respect the family, and the deceased themself. Some causes of death (suicide, overdose, etc.) come with a lot of private information about the individual that they might not have chosen to share.

Which is unfortunate, because all keeping it secret can do is lead to a lack of respect. We will all stand around and wonder, and whisper. There might even be rumors of suicide, when it was something completely unrelated. I refuse to adhere to this ridiculous idea.

If your relatives believe so, they can choose to share the cause of death. But at the same time, if they choose not to, I think we should respect that.

I mean, I'm curious too. I think it's normal to be. But life goes on either way.

Re: In Memoriam: Noah Gibbs

#24

Post by n2d4 »

Trasmatta wrote: post #15
n2d4 wrote: post #13

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> I'm not sure why that is. Well, you explained it in your second paragraph; to respect the family, and the deceased themself. Some causes of death (suicide, overdose, etc.) come with a lot of private information about the individual that they might not have chosen to share.

Yeah, that makes sense. I think it's always right for family's to choose not to share details, and I don't think it's ever appropriate for people to bug them for details. I think what I wonder a little bit more about is why it's seen as inappropriate for people to just wonder what happened, even though I feel that's a natural human response, especially if they knew the person in some way (as long as that wondering do…

It's an awkward position to be in for the family of the deceased. They're already going through enough by griefing; if they'd rather not share, but are still constantly pestered about it by strangers, it's certainly not helping.

Re: In Memoriam: Noah Gibbs

#25

Post by olivierlacan »

solarmist wrote: post #7
ksec wrote: post #5

Does anyone know what happened? I haven't seen it mentioned anywhere. He was posting about breaking his ankle while skiing and a few days later we have the sad news. We first lost Chris Seaton not long ago and now Noah from the Ruby Community. I will copy what Nate ( Maintainer of Puma ) wrote about Noah down below. Noah was: A member of the YJIT team. The author of "Rebuilding Rails" The creator of the Rails Ruby Be…

It appears that the stories shared are being posted to his Facebook account. https://www.facebook.com/share/1K49KzbZN7/

Thank you for sharing this.

Reading memories from the people Noah impacted in his life feels like a good way to understand the kind of person he was.

Re: In Memoriam: Noah Gibbs

#27

Post by Trasmatta »

JamesSwift wrote: post #22
Trasmatta wrote: post #12

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> Does anyone know what happened? I haven't seen it mentioned anywhere. I haven't seen what happened either. Hopefully it's not inappropriate to bring up in this thread, but I've always found it curious how there seems to so often be a cultural expectation of secrecy when someone dies young, and some treat it as wrong to even wonder. I'm not sure why that is. Is this something specific to Western cultures, or is this…

Well its been less than a week that the persons husband/father passed away unexpectedly. The sense of loss and tragedy is at an all time high. They already addressed the death with "Noah's passing was sudden and very fast. He did not suffer". I think its fair to assume that if they wanted to share more, they would have, and otherwise thats all they want to put out publicly at the moment. When someone young dies, you…

I do agree that bugging the family about it is never appropriate

Re: In Memoriam: Noah Gibbs

#30

Post by declan_roberts »

n2d4 wrote: post #13
Trasmatta wrote: post #12

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> Does anyone know what happened? I haven't seen it mentioned anywhere. I haven't seen what happened either. Hopefully it's not inappropriate to bring up in this thread, but I've always found it curious how there seems to so often be a cultural expectation of secrecy when someone dies young, and some treat it as wrong to even wonder. I'm not sure why that is. Is this something specific to Western cultures, or is this…

> I'm not sure why that is. Well, you explained it in your second paragraph; to respect the family, and the deceased themself. Some causes of death (suicide, overdose, etc.) come with a lot of private information about the individual that they might not have chosen to share.

Privacy is a right of the living, not the dead.
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