I think the better option is... why not both? Update the first example to something like: For additional order details, go to your account by clicking here. and `go to your account by clicking here` is the link.
> What will I see if I click a link labeled "click here"? I have no idea. Instead, choose link text that describes the destination.
Pretty much all of the examples are of the form of "To do action XYZ, click here". Why aren't you considering the "do action XYZ" part of the sentence?
> It confuses search engines
No, it doesn't. As he said previously, "this is not 1995" - search engines also take into account the context around links and images.
Most importantly, though, these are all just this guy's feelings. While I think A/B tests definitely have limitations, this type of small change is the kind of thing that can absolutely be probed scientifically (i.e. A/B tests, formal user studies, etc.) If you're in a company where people are strongly arguing one side or the other of this debate, I'd just use the famous quote by Jim Barksdale: "If we have data, let's look at data. If all we have are opinions, let's go with mine."